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The tourist areas of Miami have been the victim of a sinister attack by mosquitos carrying the Zika virus. How could this happen? Hundreds of miles of salt water are between the Zika areas in godless South America and Florida. Mosquitos can't fly that far. Someone put those mosquitos there. Who has done this work?
Analysts have suggested several possible culprits: Fidel Castro, making a last effort to get the Cubans in America, the City of Gulf Shores, Alabama, attempting to steal the tourist trade, Hillary Clinton, trying to divert attention from her many scandals, The Brazilians, angry about accusations that Brian Lochte and his friends were robbed, Drug Lords, attempting to thin out possible witnesses to smuggling activities and other possibilities, many of which are less likely, in my opinion.
My own gut feeling is that it is the Brazilians. They are very angry and well armed with Zika. This is a serious matter, as Zika causes heads to shrink. We have all seen shrunken heads from South America. I always thought that was done by savages through some kind of sorcery and the savages have always pretended they were the cause. Now we know the truth. We cannot afford an epidemic of shrunken heads in America, even in Florida.
THE CURE: First, the outbreak here must be eliminated. The area affected is small. The mile and a half square area in Miami Beach can be cleansed with napalm. We have plenty of it and our godly pilots could use the practice. The general infestation in Brazil is a different matter and it threatens the entire world. I urge President Obama to launch a full scale nuclear strike on the entire country of Brazil forthwith. We cannot afford to wait until Donald Trump takes office, as we may have to destroy the entire State of Florida and most of South America if we delay. Firm action is what is needed.
Analysts have suggested several possible culprits: Fidel Castro, making a last effort to get the Cubans in America, the City of Gulf Shores, Alabama, attempting to steal the tourist trade, Hillary Clinton, trying to divert attention from her many scandals, The Brazilians, angry about accusations that Brian Lochte and his friends were robbed, Drug Lords, attempting to thin out possible witnesses to smuggling activities and other possibilities, many of which are less likely, in my opinion.
My own gut feeling is that it is the Brazilians. They are very angry and well armed with Zika. This is a serious matter, as Zika causes heads to shrink. We have all seen shrunken heads from South America. I always thought that was done by savages through some kind of sorcery and the savages have always pretended they were the cause. Now we know the truth. We cannot afford an epidemic of shrunken heads in America, even in Florida.
THE CURE: First, the outbreak here must be eliminated. The area affected is small. The mile and a half square area in Miami Beach can be cleansed with napalm. We have plenty of it and our godly pilots could use the practice. The general infestation in Brazil is a different matter and it threatens the entire world. I urge President Obama to launch a full scale nuclear strike on the entire country of Brazil forthwith. We cannot afford to wait until Donald Trump takes office, as we may have to destroy the entire State of Florida and most of South America if we delay. Firm action is what is needed.
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