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  • #1

    Landover Baptist Fourth of July Services

    As your Mayor, it is my hope every citizen of Freehold will be in Landover Baptist for the Fourth of July Service. You will never see patriotism and Jesus celebrated together in a more exciting way.

    Pastor Zeke is preparing his sermon which makes patriotism and Jesus inseparable. The choir sings patriotic music while staff puts of an indoor fireworks display. Out come the tissues. This is the highlight event in Freehold's summer.


    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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  • #2
    Re: Landover Baptist Fourth of July Services

    We're all so excited, Mr. Mayor! Jesus and America go together like chips and dip, sun and sand, homos and rocks! Speaking of which, the children have been decorating their stoning buckets with Jesus' favorite colors, red, white, and blue! We find travelling to Des Moines gives us a fantastic opportunity to share the Gospel Message on the streets, and the children learn to run and scatter when they miss their targets or hit a store front. Good times! Summer is my favorite month!
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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    • #3
      Re: Landover Baptist Fourth of July Services

      Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
      We're all so excited, Mr. Mayor! ... the children have been decorating their stoning buckets with Jesus' favorite colors, red, white, and blue! We find travelling to Des Moines gives us a fantastic opportunity to share the Gospel Message on the streets, and the children learn to run and scatter when they miss their targets or hit a store front. Good times! Summer is my favorite month!
      I've heard this group is planning to march in the Des Moines 4th parade. Have your children ready!!


      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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