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  • Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

    We in the U.S. can hold our heads high for our accomplishments in engineering. We have bigger tractors, faster cars and bigger houses than anyone else in the world.

    Plus, we are making big advances in engineered factory-produced food. Some decades back, McDonalds bragged it had the best French fries in the country. They had good engineers and scientists engaged in making fries that tasted perfect out of the fryer but also lasted quite a while after that.

    Now, the chain Wendy's has done the same thing. It newly engineered French fries will last as long a McDonald's and will improve the variety of fine food available in our country.

    No matter what the Biden people claim, credit for this breakthrough has to be given to President Trump. He eats a lot of fast food. Wendy's no doubt, like the rest of us, is looking forward to the day when Trump returns carrying his bag of wonderful engineered French fries.

    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

  • #2
    Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

    Eating French fries is supporting France, which is the world's hottesy hotbed of sin. That I cannot do.

    If they're not called freedom fries, I'm not eating them.
    The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

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    • #3
      Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

      Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
      McDonalds bragged it had the best French fries in the country.
      This is an affirmative, Mr. Mayor. And not just in the country. Every time I travel abroad I seek out the finest fries in the world (plus the foreign kids love it). Wendy's needs to help bring crunchy fried dehydrogenized potato pulverate to all the backward sh*tholes I've had the misfortune to visit.
      If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

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      • #4
        Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

        Did you know some countries have banned the very fats and oils needed for unadulterated crispness? Perhaps we could endow a chair at a Christian university for studies into the link between over-regulated food standards and incidence of atheism.

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        • #5
          Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

          Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
          Did you know some countries have banned the very fats and oils needed for unadulterated crispness? Perhaps we could endow a chair at a Christian university for studies into the link between over-regulated food standards and incidence of atheism.
          I think you are on to something, Sister Mitza, the relationship between over regulation of food and atheism. Atheists just do not take care of themselves. Rather than learn what they should eat from government. They believe soggy French fries are a health food. If only they could learn crisp fat laded French fries bring a healthy dose of pleasure they would be better off.
          Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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          • #6
            Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

            I have never eaten actual French fries. On the rare occasions when we need to travel through France, for example if my husband has church business in Swisterland or Leichtenstien, we always take our own food supplies with us. Experience has taught us that this is for the best.

            But I would like to put in a word here for British fries (confusingly named "chips"), which are served throughout the country in fish and chip shops, called "chippies". There is no need to order the fish, obviously! Controversially, British fries are made of solid potato, but they are deep fried in beef fat and subsequently slathered with as much salt as will stick to them. A culinary gem!

            1 Corinthians 10:31 - Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
            Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

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            • #7
              Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

              The good news is that Trump has spawned a whole new generation of millions of young up and coming voters. Donald Trump single handedly liberated the suffering of millions of students held hostage by 8 years of Michelle Obama's school lunch programs - which were an inedible mash inspired by vegan granola munching hippies channeling Euell Gibbons.

              Even the Romans had "fast-food" (their establishments were called "Thermopoliums"), and the Romans were given to frying their food. Jesus probably ate fried food, and the miracle of the loves and fishes - those fish were likely to have been fried.

              Speaking of "French" fries, the Canadian Québécois have concocted a vile soggy mess called "Poutine" (pronounced poo-tine) which consists of French fries slathered in gravy sprinkled with cheese. As to the French, nothing has come of their cooking since the introduction of their "nouvelle cuisine".
              Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
              brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
              ...and get off my lawn
              sigpic

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              • #8
                Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

                Originally posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
                As to the French, nothing has come of their cooking since the introduction of their "nouvelle cuisine".
                I think that translates as "You're not really hungry, are you?"
                Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

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                • #9
                  Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

                  Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
                  Did you know some countries have banned the very fats and oils needed for unadulterated crispness? Perhaps we could endow a chair at a Christian university for studies into the link between over-regulated food standards and incidence of atheism.
                  Why should LBC have to foot the bill? McDonalds pisses away more than enough money on their charity for housing the families of terminally ill young sinners with one foot through the gates of Hell. They should take it and buy an egghead instead. The Ronald McDonald Professor of Food Science at Liberty University or BJU would bring an appropriate level of gravitas and esteem to this idea.
                  I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
                  Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
                  But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
                  From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

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                  • #10
                    Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

                    I've just learned that "socialists" (a stand-in word for all the world's woemongers regardless of how they're rebranding their latest curse) are re-forming the following

                    Quinoa

                    defatted Jojoba meal

                    Teff

                    comminuted Uqa starch

                    Magogoya

                    Couscous

                    desiccated Amaranth porridge

                    Microseris scapigera "Murnong"


                    various globs masquerading as whatever the latest unpronounceable foodstuff is but are actually derivitaves of Soybean including but not limited to
                    Nattō
                    Tempeh
                    Tofu
                    Cheonggukjang
                    Tương

                    constringed Baobab pulp ("staple of warthogs and baboons," it says here fyi )

                    Camu Camu


                    into food substitutes they will be marketing to family members as French Fries or even Nuggets of unspecified source. Expect words like "NEW!" or "EXCITING!" or for certain markets "LATEST HEALTH ALTERNATIVE!" to be plastered everywhere these non-crisp and probably not even fried "YUMMY!" snacks are peddled.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

                      Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
                      I've just learned that "socialists" (a stand-in word for all the world's woemongers regardless of how they're rebranding their latest curse) are re-forming the following
                      Quinoa

                      defatted Jojoba meal

                      Teff

                      comminuted Uqa starch

                      Magogoya

                      Couscous

                      desiccated Amaranth porridge

                      Microseris scapigera "Murnong"

                      various globs masquerading as whatever the latest unpronounceable foodstuff is but are actually derivitaves of Soybean including but not limited to
                      Nattō
                      Tempeh
                      Tofu
                      Cheonggukjang
                      Tương

                      constringed Baobab pulp ("staple of warthogs and baboons," it says here fyi )

                      Camu Camu
                      into food substitutes they will be marketing to family members as French Fries or even Nuggets of unspecified source. Expect words like "NEW!" or "EXCITING!" or for certain markets "LATEST HEALTH ALTERNATIVE!" to be plastered everywhere these non-crisp and probably not even fried "YUMMY!" snacks are peddled.
                      A wise Christian nutritionist once said, "Never eat something you cannot pronounce."
                      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

                        I'm fairly certain that if I asked for any of that stuff, I'd be pronouncing it way-off and everyone would look at me as though I had a slug on my head that I didn't know about which was about to crawl onto my nose.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

                          Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
                          Did you know some countries have banned the very fats and oils needed for unadulterated crispness? Perhaps we could endow a chair at a Christian university for studies into the link between over-regulated food standards and incidence of atheism.
                          I'm glad I live in a civilized country where fat is free. I'd literally die without that deep fried tastiness.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Keep Soggy French Fries Out of Freehold

                            There was a time when God's Chosen People forgot how wonderful He was and evolved different ways to worship. Probably that was quite rapid, resulting from liaisons with savage men and women known as Heathens.

                            Some heathens are pagans, some are animists, some worship smooth idols, some have revolting knobbly things but all of them are savage. Is there anything a savage won't do to ensnare the righteous? And the reason is easy to guess. At one of their temple raves in order to get excited they need to abase themselves before the devils they're adoring in more and more imaginative ways. A righteous person would be so horrified at this that the devils could slip in unnoticed and siphon off the horror to provide physical sensations for the savages. It is then too late for redemption, the wretch is righteous no more.

                            After some time, The Bible explains, a written record of what God expected was discovered. Where and by whom is not relevant to this thread because God includes some very interesting information. The people knew they'd done the wrong thing but were excited to learn The Truth and that the day was one for celebration. God's Just Law was read from the book which is where we pick up the Scricpural account.
                            Nehemiah 8:8-12 So they read in the book in the law of God distinctly, and gave the sense, and caused them to understand the reading. And Nehemiah, which is the Tirshatha, and Ezra the priest the scribe, and the Levites that taught the people, said unto all the people, This day is holy unto the LORD your God; mourn not, nor weep. For all the people wept, when they heard the words of the law. Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength. So the Levites stilled all the people, saying, Hold your peace, for the day is holy; neither be ye grieved. And all the people went their way to eat, and to drink, and to send portions, and to make great mirth, because they had understood the words that were declared unto them.

                            French fries made from constringed Baobab pulp cooked in flax juice quite honestly are certain to be soggy, are not French and may well not even be fried. God knew the benefits of fat taken with suitable sweet drinks to generate the mirth He loves to see but in the abandoned realms of Europe where fat-fried dainties are virtually illegal how can there ever be anything other than misery. Except at a temple orgy, temporarily. Then it's back to the misery. Many of these nations do not accept The Bible as accurate, reliable or even true.

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