Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

[Johny Joe Hold]

Maybe now this country will come to its senses about crazy "environmentalism." Martha Stewart is among the most successful businesswomen in this country. She should be able to buy whatever she wants and not be bothered by smelly environmentalists.

For years, there has been this thing we are "losing coyotes." These animals get into cities and kill dogs and cats people paid money for. They should simply be eradicated.

Martha Stewart had one of the most expensive collection of peacocks in this country. They had names such as "Blueboy." Several coyotes jumped into Martha's enclosure and killed six of them. This should finally tip the balance of public opinion away from the environment.

Six of Martha Stewart’s peacocks killed by coyotes (today.com)

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

Not to worry. If you search "how many peacocks does martha stuart have" on google she has 21 peacocks so she won't be short of peacocks even temporarily. I remember getting down to my last peacock one time, it was so nerve-wracking.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

Not to worry. If you search "how many peacocks does martha stuart have" on google she has 21 peacocks so she won't be short of peacocks even temporarily.

If the coyotes ate six, she would be down to 15 peacocks. While that is quite a few, the six the coyotes ate were her private property. If a human entered the pen and shot six of them, the person would go to jail. These animals are given a break at every turn.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

If the coyotes ate six, she would be down to 15 peacocks. While that is quite a few, the six the coyotes ate were her private property. If a human entered the pen and shot six of them, the person would go to jail. These animals are given a break at every turn.

Mr. Mayor if starving humans entered Martha's private property and shot her personal peacocks to feed themselves, like animals, I think we would need to send a message. Helicopters, armored tanks and napalm the hedgerows: property rights are enforced around here.

[Isabella White]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

Oh, dearie me; that’s the way it goes. Poor Martha. Goodness knows that she has always loved her animals; particularly, her dogs and cats.

And, now that Martha loves peacocks, it is too bad about some of them being killed. But, there are plenty of peacocks around, so Martha must not worry.

Others in similar situations have had no regrets during such occasions. Take, for instance, when the Queen strangled a pheasant. There are still plenty of pheasants in the world, so why all of the fuss about losing one pheasant — or six peacocks?

The Queen wasn’t doing any shooting, but one of her hunting dogs picked up a bird that had been injured by someone in her party and presented it to her majesty. She tucked her walking stick under her arm, bent down, and took the bird from the dog’s mouth – then stood up and wrung its neck with both hands.

https://nypost.com/2000/11/19/queen-...-bird-on-hunt/

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

I've only eaten peacock once, served up at the lovely home of a Californian vineyard owner, a business associate of my husband. It was quite tasty, rather like the dark meat of a turkey. It does need a decent sauce, and a characterful wine. I think it (the peacock) came from California, though, not from Martha's back yard.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

coyotes

Lice, scabies, lung flukes, tapeworms, scabies, eelworms, rotifers, ticks, macracanthorhynchuses, brucellosis, TB, listeria, fleas, bubonic plague, hydatids; coyotes don't even care enough to not do the things resulting these loathsome diseases and then want to start biting people who wouldn't do those things in a blue fit? And we're expected to admire them prowling around? If wiping out smallpox was so wonderful as is often claimed, why not wipe out these things? It's not as though it's difficult. Get rid of the creatures carrying them.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

I don't have any personal experience of coyotes, and they aren't mentioned in the Bible. However, peac*cks are in the Bible. They were presented to King Solomon as tribute:

For the king had at sea a navy of Tharshish with the navy of Hiram: once in three years came the navy of Tharshish, bringing gold, and silver, ivory, and apes, and peac*cks. 1 Kings 10:22

Job 39:13 raises the interesting question why God gave peac*cks and Ostriches wings.

Gavest thou the goodly wings unto the peac*cks? or wings and feathers unto the ostrich?

None of these passages, however, tell us what to do about the coyotes.

Exodus 22:3 tells us that a thief who has no goods from which to pay restitution should be sold into slavery:

... if the sun has risen on him, there shall be bloodguilt for him. He shall surely pay. If he has nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft.

So the Biblically proper thing to do is to capture coyotes and auction them off into slavery until Mrs. Stewart has received the value of her killed peac*cks. If the purchasers want to shoot the coyotes, that is their right. Of course, once we have captured enough coyotes to render Mrs. Stewart whole, it's a good idea to kill the rest just so we don't have to go through this again.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

So the Biblically proper thing to do is to capture coyotes and auction them off into slavery until Mrs. Stewart has received the value of her killed peac*cks.

Would this work though, Brother? I mean, what is the point? Who would pay for a slave coyote just to shoot it when there are other, more challenging targets (and more productive slaves) available?

Can coyotes be turned into peacuck fodder? This would seem fair.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

The article isn't altogether clear just what Martha Stewart was doing with all those peacocks. It does mention that they are noisy, and "clean"? What fowl doesn't leave little pieces of poop all over the place? Was she keeping them as "pets" - Martha does like to "decorate", but all those plumes just aren't useful as far as I'm concerned.

The coyotes had the right idea - they were meant to be eaten. I hear they taste like turkey, but if you want turkey just go but a Swift Butterball turkey at your local grocery.

[Phil Ander]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

I have only eaten peacock when stuffed inside another bird. I salivate whenever I see Turpeaducken on the menu. Watching a peacock being deboned for this dish is a culinary highlight.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

I have only eaten peacock when stuffed inside another bird. I salivate whenever I see Turpeaducken on the menu.

It hadn't occurred to me to try that, Brother Phil, but I do see one major advantage over Turducken, which my younger children think contains real turd.

[Phil Ander]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

It hadn't occurred to me to try that, Brother Phil, but I do see one major advantage over Turducken, which my younger children think contains real turd.

Kids these days are so squeamish. Wasn't so long ago that the gamekeeper's son would be sent out to do some pheasant plucking with the gentry at the end of the day's shoot. Feathers, turds, entrails and shot removal were all part of the process as the birds were dressed.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

Martha can buy new adult peacocks for around $150 apiece. With shipping and all, the coyotes may have stolen $1,000 of her assets. That's why I'm down on environmentalists. They should pay Martha.

1 Year Old Male Peacock (birdsnow.com)

[WWJDnow]

Re: Coyotes Ate Six of Martha's Peacocks

I don't think we can assume that any given peac*ck is a replacement for one of Martha's birds. When I was a teenager, my sister raised a bull as a 4-H project. If the sherriff hadn't had to shoot it because it escaped its pen and gored seven children, this animal would no doubt have won the best bull award at the Boone county state fair. I don't see how just any random bull would have been a suitable replacement.

Happily, my sister kept several gallons of the bull's sem€n in our freezer, so it wasn't a total loss. And the steaks were excellent, provided you cut around the bullets (otherwise it had a rather harsh, metallic flavor). I am sure this incident (the incident with Martha's peac*cks, not the incident with my sister's bull) will inspire Martha to post some elegant peac*ck recipies soon. And perhaps some coyote recipes, too. I hope she kept some of the peac*ck sem€n, too, if she could figure out which hole that comes out of.