Spring: God Hates Dandelions in Your Freehold Yard

[Johny Joe Hold]

With the arrival of Spring comes weeds that want to live in your thick green grass. In Freehold, we want identical green lawns that reflect our identical views of the faith. My I remind Freehold homeowners the yellow dandelion flower is a sign your lawn has not received its proper strong dose of herbicides. There are several firms in the metro that will apply the chemicals needed for a lawn the pleases Jesus.

Lawn Care Services | Weed Man

[MitzaLizalor]

New-age chakra alignment gurus have told me that all flora is valuable in "God's" sight. (What they mean by God is the resonant frequency of Gaia which, they will continue, is the same as the primary brain frequency having a wavelength equal to the circumference of the Gaia: every living thing is therefore at its own magnetic nodal point.) Next, they've tried to sell me a magnet, or a dream catcher, you get the idea. I don't know what happens if you say that dandelions don't have brains but we do know how low a category Jesus had for certain plants.

* Thistles - spontaneously generated when His provision was spurned
† Weeds - dragging down to the depths
‡ Thorns - choking His efforts to bring renewal

Not all plants are equal in His sight, whatever your Reiki wizard says about their auric fields. That does not mean all weeds are sent as a punishment. If it were so, there would be none in Christian lawns. Dandelions, as OP has pointed out, are a reminder. They are there to encourage us, to teach us to be vigilant in these dreadful times. Reiki wizards are the least of it!

I Peter 5:8 9 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

* Genesis 3:18, 17
† Jonah 2:5, 4
‡ Luke 8: 5 7 11

[Johny Joe Hold]

Not all plants are equal in his sight...

That's profound, Sister Mitza. When one looks down the street in Freehold and sees only green lawns with the huge beautiful Landover Baptist Church at the end, it is a message. God wants to see conformity and His word preached in the most powerful way. Weeds, like sinners, need to disappear.

[MitzaLizalor]

Matthew records that Jesus has this in hand. I should clarify that I don't frequent chakra alignment gurus or Reiki wizards but have met them in shops, looking for a gift or perhaps an interesting musical instrument. A pendant maybe or a zebra skin drum – and they advance as though one were a magnet. (HINT: do not ask them about magnet therapy!) Invariably they have a book, usually about $180, and their ideas, the least outré of which I post here occasionally, are disturbing to say the least. They are indeed like weeds, deliberately introduced to poison minds with infernal energies.

Some instruments (the African baboon zither for example, fashioned from ribs similar to whalebone) are exclusively used in voodoo to summon spirits, or as they'd say to transport you to the spirit world. There you'll meet an animal. It is you, who you really are, who you were before the earth was born and what you'll be again, when it's gone forever. If you even ask a question, they'll take that as interest and give you another 20 minutes.

These are topics very dandelion-like in His lawn which never cease to amaze me! I did not buy the zither.


Matthew 12:43-45; 13:3-50


seven other spirits more wicked than himself