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Freehold, Iowa wins highest Economic Freedom rating in America!
For the third year in a row Freehold, Iowa has topped the Ceasar Institute's Economic Freedom Index.
"It is no coincidence that the city with the most economic freedom in America also has one of the highest per-capita incomes in America" said Samuel Worthington Jr., senior freedomologist at the Ceasar Institute's research division. "Critics say that the wealth statistics are distorted because of the extremely successful executives of Americhrist LLC, but what the critics forget is that if they like North Korea so much, they should move there."
Locals were not surprised to see Freehold holding on to the crown. "I've seen what it's like in other places" says Max Harvey, owner of Freehold's leading Casual Labor Temp Agency, "they have no economic freedom at all. You tell an employee to jump, and instead of asking 'how high' they want danger pay. And we're not talking two-story jumps, just one story!"
"I personally owe my prosperity to the church" Says Jack "buttfest" Slaughter, owner of Song of Solomon, Freehold's leading gentleman's club. "They are always here to witness to the dancers and other staff members, and their generous tips mean I can pay lower wages. Best of all is that they preach forgiveness, which was very helpful when I cancelled the employee health plan because of Swine Flu."
"I like how there is no red tape or regulations standing in the way of business." says Heather Seth, a lab technician at Metholidical Labs inc, which produces child's cough syrup, military-grade calmative agents, and other products which cannot be disclosed thanks to freeholds tough trade secrets laws.
"Business is booming in Freehold" Says Zeke Thurmond, founder of Pawn-O-Rama "I know pawnshops are doing well nationwide, but they need to see the economic powerhouse, the free-market dynamo that is Freehold."
However, there is no need for complacency. The Ceasar Institute's International Freedom Index notes that Freehold still lags behind much of Somolia in economic freedom, and last year Freehold lost 1st place on the Morality Index. First place is currently a tie between Gambia and Uzbekistan.
"It is no coincidence that the city with the most economic freedom in America also has one of the highest per-capita incomes in America" said Samuel Worthington Jr., senior freedomologist at the Ceasar Institute's research division. "Critics say that the wealth statistics are distorted because of the extremely successful executives of Americhrist LLC, but what the critics forget is that if they like North Korea so much, they should move there."
Locals were not surprised to see Freehold holding on to the crown. "I've seen what it's like in other places" says Max Harvey, owner of Freehold's leading Casual Labor Temp Agency, "they have no economic freedom at all. You tell an employee to jump, and instead of asking 'how high' they want danger pay. And we're not talking two-story jumps, just one story!"
"I personally owe my prosperity to the church" Says Jack "buttfest" Slaughter, owner of Song of Solomon, Freehold's leading gentleman's club. "They are always here to witness to the dancers and other staff members, and their generous tips mean I can pay lower wages. Best of all is that they preach forgiveness, which was very helpful when I cancelled the employee health plan because of Swine Flu."
"I like how there is no red tape or regulations standing in the way of business." says Heather Seth, a lab technician at Metholidical Labs inc, which produces child's cough syrup, military-grade calmative agents, and other products which cannot be disclosed thanks to freeholds tough trade secrets laws.
"Business is booming in Freehold" Says Zeke Thurmond, founder of Pawn-O-Rama "I know pawnshops are doing well nationwide, but they need to see the economic powerhouse, the free-market dynamo that is Freehold."
However, there is no need for complacency. The Ceasar Institute's International Freedom Index notes that Freehold still lags behind much of Somolia in economic freedom, and last year Freehold lost 1st place on the Morality Index. First place is currently a tie between Gambia and Uzbekistan.
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