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Praise Jesus! The book you've all been waiting for has finally been released, and autographed copies will be available after Sunday Services until supplies run out. Brother Karl Rove, or Brother Turd Blossom as we all know him, has penned his best book yet, and I know you're all dying to read it. 
Let me give you just a sample.
I'd like to track that little feminazi liberal down and give her a medal, because without her bitchslapping him like that, Brother Rove might not have turned out to be the shining example of White Christian Neo Conservatory that he is today. 
Happy reading, Brothers and sisters!
Oh, and it also turns out his dad was a queer.
Let me give you just a sample.
Karl Rove's partisan bloodlust flowered early. At age 9 -- and already a political nerd -- he became a spirited supporter of Richard Nixon in the 1960 presidential smackdown against John F. Kennedy. So intense was his devotion that he landed a coveted Nixon bumper sticker and displayed it proudly on his bicycle basket -- until a little girl in his neighborhood who favored JFK beat the stuffing out of him, bloodying his nose and ego. "I've never liked losing a political fight since," Rove writes in his memoir, "Courage and Consequence."
Happy reading, Brothers and sisters!
Oh, and it also turns out his dad was a queer.
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