[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

Is the LMAT still current?

All missionaries must be at least 18 years of age, a certified True Christian™ through the Landover Baptist Church, and pass the LMAT (Landover Missionary Aptitude Test).

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

The need for missionaries continues. We have sent as many missionaries as we could find. Yet, Europe, for example, has maintained its slide into Godlessness. We at Landover are convinced we can turn the tide worldwide with an army of dedicated Christian volunteers.

We need our ever-important screening of volunteers of course. A few of them have disappeared after they arrived in country.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

• Spain.

I'm not sure about Spain. Isn't it full of vomiting Englishwomen? There are visitors who don't vomit (because they don't drink) but they're under the influence of demons. Perhaps this is why the locals moved to Mexico?

• And more!

and pass the LMAT (Landover Missionary Aptitude Test)

I should be more explicit. I do not want to go to Spain or Mexico. Is there any way I could help out?

DEMON POSSESSED SPANIARDS

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

It is true Pastor Sampson, that the personal touch can achieve outcomes that might be difficult to believe if I were to describe them. I do have a soft spot for foreigners, and for Northern Europeans in particular (especially those Russian sailors). I know what will happen to them when they come ashore, harlots will waylay them, black-marketeers will accost them. I try to get them straight off the boat and into a suitable music venue and guide them along a better path. It is summer there now, and I'll be returning soon.

Although it is a Godless pit of iniquity, I am drawn there and feel that God might not have altogether abandoned the place any more than
I am abandoned.

Hallelujah !

Best wishes in the continuance of your good work sister. Be careful, in fact, don't. I'm sure the Lord is watching over you.

McU.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

I love witnessing to all men and women of northern Mexico in my missionary position. Many of the people I witness to tell me how much warmer and more personal it is instead of relying on more back door communications like email and the internet.

It is true Pastor Sampson, that the personal touch can achieve outcomes that might be difficult to believe if I were to describe them. I do have a soft spot for foreigners, and for Northern Europeans in particular (especially those Russian sailors). I know what will happen to them when they come ashore, harlots will waylay them, black-marketeers will accost them. I try to get them straight off the boat and into a suitable music venue and guide them along a better path. It is summer there now, and I'll be returning soon.

Although it is a Godless pit of iniquity, I am drawn there and feel that God might not have altogether abandoned the place any more than
I am abandoned.

Hallelujah !

[renaldude]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

Not all Christians agree on all things. I don't agree with Jim Osborne on the foreign missions to third world countries like Mexico and Canada, just as I don't agree with him on his selection of a striped tie with plaid pants.

I prefer to see funds spent reaching out to Americans and helping them gain salvation rather than traipsing off to foreign third-world countries and getting malaria, which then must be treated, raising my health insurance premiums and costing my own congregation more money than if I stay here in the US and carry on my truck stop ministry.

In an average month, I reach out and touch three or four dozen men, all hungry for the Love of Jesus. And I don't need to learn foreign languages to understand their pleas for Jesus enter them!

My appologies, when I said "we" I did not intend to include anyone other than the person I was quoting. I'm so happy to hear about your productive mission field, so sad that you expect malaria/treatment/and raised premiums, that hasn't happend to anyone on any of our trips, ever.
That you reach so many in your ministry is great, God surely is working through you.
In Christ
Renaldude

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

This was in responce to my saying that I have gone twice to Guatemalla on mission trips. And now to go out of the USA on missionary work is promoted? I'm glad we agree.

Not all Christians agree on all things. I don't agree with Jim Osborne on the foreign missions to third world countries like Mexico and Canada, just as I don't agree with him on his selection of a striped tie with plaid pants.

I prefer to see funds spent reaching out to Americans and helping them gain salvation rather than traipsing off to foreign third-world countries and getting malaria, which then must be treated, raising my health insurance premiums and costing my own congregation more money than if I stay here in the US and carry on my truck stop ministry.

In an average month, I reach out and touch three or four dozen men, all hungry for the Love of Jesus. And I don't need to learn foreign languages to understand their pleas for Jesus enter them!

[renaldude]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

Let me start with this, a responce to my intro:
noob
Views: 324
Posted By Rev. M. Rodimer
Re: noob

How wonderful!

But I do have to ask why you would go to Guatemala, with all the costs involved in so doing, when there are literally millions of Americans who don't know Jesus right in your own...

This was in responce to my saying that I have gone twice to Guatemalla on mission trips. And now to go out of the USA on missionary work is promoted? I'm glad we agree.

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

I love witnessing to all men and women of northern Mexico in my missionary position. Many of the people I witness to tell me how much warmer and more personal it is instead of relying on more back door communications like email and the internet.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

It is safe to sate that Missionary Position is the kind of Position Jesus wants our young people to take. This is the kind of role a good Christian can put their back into and push back against Satan with! The face to face encounters that come with these positions will be deep and spiritually fulfilling.

I strongly urge our young Christians to not just lay there, but to take up this offer!

[Rebuko the Clown]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

im pretty sure austria would be under "general europe" so wide-open could help you if you wanted to volenteer!

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

There is a pressing need in Europe, and I would be happy to support any load the Pastors put upon me.

..oh, there is a lot of work in the summer months there - I'm a pianist but also program electronic music; we supply a full range of services, hardware, sound engineering, lighting, hospitality etc. At present I'm pretty busy in Australia with the art festivals (summer/autumn mainly) but most of my work is in Europe. I live in the UK, then (and commute). Most of the higher paying events are at venues near sea-ports where there seems to be more disposable income. Witnessing is hard - but opportunities do come up.

I'm impressed Sister Mitza. That explains your bottomless well of knowledge regarding music, particularly the harpsichord. I'll pray that you get more opportunities to get down on your knees to witness for as many potential Saved as possible. May they be pianists too if possible, as I'm sure you're an expert at handling pianists my dear! May the Lord be with you!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

With the pastors' permission I'd readily welcome any help in the Catagena, Alicante or Valencia areas sister. You couldn't evangelicalize of course, you being of the female gender, but I'm sure our contacts in those areas could think of something.


Out of curiosity why is it northern European sea ports that you'll be touring?

There is a pressing need in Europe, and I would be happy to support any load the Pastors put upon me.

..oh, there is a lot of work in the summer months there - I'm a pianist but also program electronic music; we supply a full range of services, hardware, sound engineering, lighting, hospitality etc. At present I'm pretty busy in Australia with the art festivals (summer/autumn mainly) but most of my work is in Europe. I live in the UK, then (and commute). Most of the higher paying events are at venues near sea-ports where there seems to be more disposable income. Witnessing is hard - but opportunities do come up.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

I noticed that Australia is not on the list - the locals are well below par I'm afraid: very little scope for improvement.

I Corinthians 16:22 If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maranatha.

However I will shortly be embarking on a tour of the Northern European sea ports and would be open to any suggestions the Pastors consider would fit me
in such a position as I'm likely to find myself between fixtures.

I would be happy to support any evangelical endeavour.

Humbly .....ML

With the pastors' permission I'd readily welcome any help in the Catagena, Alicante or Valencia areas sister. You couldn't evangelicalize of course, you being of the female gender, but I'm sure our contacts in those areas could think of something.


Out of curiosity why is it northern European sea ports that you'll be touring?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Want to Spread the Gospel? MISSIONARY POSITIONS AVAILABLE!

I noticed that Australia is not on the list - the locals are well below par I'm afraid: very little scope for improvement.

I Corinthians 16:22 If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maranatha.

However I will shortly be embarking on a tour of the Northern European sea ports and would be open to any suggestions the Pastors consider would fit me
in such a position as I'm likely to find myself between fixtures.

I would be happy to support any evangelical endeavour.

Humbly .....ML