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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78555

    #1

    Des Moines Man Sued Over Bible Salesman's Penis

    Des Moines -- A Freehold man who makes his living going door to door selling personalized Bibles is suing a Des Moines man after being asked to drop his pants to show his penis to one of his prospective customers.

    "My face turned red and I didn't know what to say or do," says Alan Wolfridge, 25, who has been selling Bibles with personal inscriptions and family trees printed in the front of them for the last five years.

    "I have only one version of the Bible for sale (the KJV1611 Authorized Version), and am a True Christian; myself, and when I went to the door of Juan Ricovez last month, he demanded that I drop my pants and show him my penis, to make sure that I was circumcised and a True Christian," Wolfridge said.

    "I was just trying to make sure he wasn't an impostor or a pretended believer in the books he was selling, and wasn't trying to get some perverted look at his penis or private parts for no good reason," Ricovez said.

    "I asked the same thing of a man begging for money at a local corner store that I frequent when he said that if I gave him $2.00 for gas to get back home, the God of Abraham would bless me in the afterlife.

    "I'm a natural-born skeptic, and if that makes me gay or queer or a sexual predator, then so be it," Ricovez said.

    "All I was trying to do was make another sale so I could pay my rent and feed my family, and then I was humiliated and harassed by Mr. Ricovez, and feel that I'm due some type of monetary re-payment or compensation for my total embarrassment and humiliation," Wolfridge said.

    "My face turned as red as the blood of Christ when Mr. Recovez asked me to drop my pants and show him my penis, and that should be worth at least a few thousand dollars," he said.

    "This is gonna be a tough case," says Luey Estron, who decided to defend Ricovez and his right to demand to look at the penis of any man who shows up on his doorstep or at some other location if they claim to be believers in the God of Abraham.

    "If they're True Christians, then they should have no problem dropping their pants," Estron said.

    "It's a cut and dry case," says prosecuting attorney Marty Mangrum, who claims that Ricovez is an obvious sexual predator or prevert of some kind.

    "He might even be gay," he said.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • lord warrior
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Sep 2007
    • 406

    #2
    Re: Des Moines Man Sued Over Bible Salesman's Penis

    door of Juan Ricovez last month, he demanded that I drop my pants and show him my penis, to make sure that I was circumcised and a True Christian," Wolfridge said.
    With a name like that, he must be a mexucan catlick. So why are they surprised that he wants to see everyone little Willy.I'm sure those mexcans are just as homo for there alter boys as those in the states.

    Comment

    • Brother McGregor
      Godly Brit
      True Christian™
      • Jan 2008
      • 376

      #3
      Re: Des Moines Man Sued Over Bible Salesman's Penis

      imprisonment is just too good for these weirdos. Here we have a humble Christian white male selling the Book...I just know in my heart that if he had been a little better off financially he would have been giving them away.
      That person with the foreign coloured name is very suspicious to me.

      To you agents of false religions and atheists...
      Proverbs 16:2
      All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits.

      Comment

      • WilliamJenningsBryan
        True Christian™
         
        • Jan 2007
        • 9384

        #4
        Re: Des Moines Man Sued Over Bible Salesman's Penis

        I would hate to think that I would have to wear some kind of Scottish Kilt to proudly display my tallywhacker on a moment's notice to prove I was a True Christian™. This Mr. Recovez is obviously some kind of homer flasher pervert.
        Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
        brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
        ...and get off my lawn
        sigpic

        Comment

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