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  • Food God Hates!

    This is serious, people, not just another chance to list foods that look like cucumbers or toroids. There are foods that God hates. List them here:

    God Hates Shrimp
    Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye's shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.

    Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
    9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
    10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
    11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
    12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

    Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says:
    9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat:
    10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

  • #2
    Re: Food God Hates!

    Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
    This is serious, people, not just another chance to list foods that look like cucumbers or toroids. There are foods that God hates. List them here:

    According to your own scriptures, God changed that rule in the vision he sent to Peter.

    Besides, if I have to choose between God and crawfish bisque, God loses.
    Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

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    • #3
      Re: Food God Hates!

      Pork.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Food God Hates!

        hotpockets

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Food God Hates!

          Originally posted by anon11 View Post
          hotpockets

          Do Hot Pockets actually even qualify as food? They're almost as bad as Twinkies.
          Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Food God Hates!

            Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
            Do Hot Pockets actually even qualify as food? They're almost as bad as Twinkies.

            God hates lies. So i guess hot pockets posing as food would classify them as a lie. You would probably get more nutrition from the box than the actual hotpocket

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            • #7
              Re: Food God Hates!

              You'd probably think he hates Bagel-bites, too.
              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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              • #8
                Re: Food God Hates!

                I have not found the Biblical references yet, but I'm pretty sure God hates anchovies.
                Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                ...and get off my lawn
                sigpic

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                • #9
                  Re: Food God Hates!

                  Originally posted by anon11 View Post
                  hotpockets
                  Now they come in the whole wheat kind.

                  I have not found the Biblical references yet, but I'm pretty sure God hates anchovies.
                  Straight up.. yes he hates those weird things.

                  You'd probably think he hates Bagel-bites, too.
                  No, I hope not!

                  If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Food God Hates!

                    My son-in-law says God hates black olives!
                    1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
                    1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


                    1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

                    Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
                    Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...

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                    • #11
                      Re: Food God Hates!

                      Originally posted by Sister Noddy View Post
                      My son-in-law says God hates black olives!
                      No, Mother. That was one of the boys in Geography class. He said his dad told him that God hates black olives. I asked him if he had scripture to back that up.

                      He said he'd ask his dad when he got home from school.
                      Read your Bible, boys and girls. Jesus likes educated people. That's my take on it.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Food God Hates!

                        Originally posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
                        I have not found the Biblical references yet, but I'm pretty sure God hates anchovies.
                        I agree, anything with that much stench in it has to be a vial wrench to our LORD JESUS.
                        (2 Peter 3:10)

                        But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Food God Hates!

                          Originally posted by Dances with Joy View Post
                          According to your own scriptures, God changed that rule in the vision he sent to Peter.

                          Besides, if I have to choose between God and crawfish bisque, God loses.
                          So, you'd choose river cockroaches over the Creator of the Universe? You're dumber than I thought.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                          • #14
                            Re: Food God Hates!

                            Wouldn't that just encompass the kosher dietary laws that Christianity doesn't follow?

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                            • #15
                              Re: Food God Hates!

                              God would definitely not like this.



                              But that little fag Homoshi would!
                              Come climb my mountains.

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