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  • #1

    Smart-Assed Atheists, You Are On Notice!

    A new fad has started among atheist "Pastafarians", to wear a pasta strainer on their heads for their driver's license photo. When they are asked to remove it, they whine, "It's a religious skullcap."

    While we at Landover Baptist do not wear silly skullcaps, I will not tolerate "Pastafarians" making fun of all religion. If our fine Freehold Police encounter a Driver's License with a pasta-strainer ID photo, the license will be confiscated and driving priviledges suspended until a proper new license is issued.

    Be forewarned.

    Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

    'Pastafarian' Refuses To Remove Pasta Strainer For License Photo
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/21/aaron-william-pastafarian-license-photo-pasta-strainer_n_2734835.html?utm_hp_ref=religion
    'Pastafarian' Refuses To Remove Pasta Strainer For License Photo
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Smart-Assed Atheists, You Are On Notice!

    People can't really expect to tease and taunt and bully the Sweet Child Jesus, who suffered a really bad weekend for our sins, and not expect the LORD to have His vengeance. I mean, can they? Are atheists really that stupid? I guess they are.

    Anyway, maybe this plastic pasta strainer thing could work out to the glory of God. Think about it this way, what would happen if every nonbeliever were forced to wear something on their heads to identify them formally as a public menace? It doesn't have to be a pasta strainer, maybe a gold hat, or a star on their lapel or something more convenient. They're the ones to blame for increased crime, increased abortions, increased fornication, increased poverty, and the like. Maybe if they had to think about what they're doing to the rest of us, they'd be a little more perceptive to the Good News we're trying to share with them.
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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    • #3
      Re: Smart-Assed Atheists, You Are On Notice!

      Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
      A new fad has started among atheist "Pastafarians", to wear a pasta strainer on their heads for their driver's license photo. When they are asked to remove it, they whine, "It's a religious skullcap."

      While we at Landover Baptist do not wear silly skullcaps, I will not tolerate "Pastafarians" making fun of all religion. If our fine Freehold Police encounter a Driver's License with a pasta-strainer ID photo, the license will be confiscated and driving priviledges suspended until a proper new license is issued.

      Be forewarned.

      Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...p_ref=religion
      Yet if you ask them, they claim it's not a religion.

      Make up your mind you schizophrenic twats.
      Drama queen

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Smart-Assed Atheists, You Are On Notice!

        Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
        maybe this plastic pasta strainer thing could work out to the glory of God. What would happen if every nonbeliever were forced to wear something on their heads to identify them formally as a public menace?
        If it were a metal strainer, it could attract lightening?

        I think we should maybe distribute them.
        .

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Smart-Assed Atheists, You Are On Notice!

          They think they have me fooled, but they don't! Their cult is nothing but made-up foolishness designed to turn normal people away from Jesus!


          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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          • #6
            Re: Smart-Assed Atheists, You Are On Notice!

            I make the argument that the so-called "scientists" are the ones who are using the term "theory" incorrectly when they describe evilution. You cannot duplicate all of the factors of evilution and test them nor disprove them. It is impossible. A lot of "evilutionary theory" is really based on "educated" guesswork that begins with the presupposition that God or a creator does not exist. The evilutionist then commits the fallacy of twisting the facts to prove their pet theory rather than changing their theory to fit the facts. So in fact when a layperson says that evilution is just a 'theory' meaning 'theory' in the colloquial sense, his use of the word is more correct than that of the so-called academics.

            I build my house on the Rock, some choose to build theirs on the shifting sands of science. Think of this, throughout my years in high school, it was a "scientific fact" that Pluto was a planet. In fact, some texts had Pluto as a planet with its own satellite, but nowadays "scientists" say that Pluto is no longer a planet at all. The word of God is and will remain the same in the past, present and future.

            Whether it's a parody like Spaghetti Monster or a sad reality like Scientology they do not have the history of Christianity nor the fulfilled prophecy that is better than any eye-witness.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Smart-Assed Atheists, You Are On Notice!

              Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
              If it were a metal strainer, it could attract lightening?

              I think we should maybe distribute them.
              .
              That's brilliant, Mistress C. Several atheists could be eliminated every year and no one would suspect a thing.
              Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Smart-Assed Atheists, You Are On Notice!

                Atheists wear a strainer on their head as a symbolic representation of the way they strive to filter out God's Truth, and only accept the lies of peer reviewed science.

                You will also notice, they wear no such symbolic filter over their rectums, which is itself a symbol of the fact that they will rectally accept the seed of any man, indiscriminately, in an effort to aggravate the wounds of Jesus.
                The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

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