Tweet
Work Wanted: Bright, intelligent Ex-cathylick seeks work in a luxury condo on the Landover complex. (Pastor Zeke, are you there?) Talented, reliable, trustworthy new soldier for Christ. Work permit application is pending the approval of the mayor and Senior Pastor.
Willing to cook, clean, provide security, administer Christian Discipline (I am halfway through the correspondence course), exorcise demons, act as a pool boy; you name it, I'm likely desperate enough to do it. Need a fashion stylist? Call me. Baseball coach? Locker room attendant? I'm there. Versed in the manly arts of woodworking, (I love wood!), plumbing (I specialize in cleaning pipes), and building beautiful erections (monuments, houses, business complexes - from scratch!) for all to enjoy. I'm really fabulous!
Past experience: Rosary making, hearing sins, granting absolution, making holy water. (All of these activities were renounced upon receiving the LORD JESUS CHRIST as my undeserved Savior, as evidenced by my admission as a forum member and guarded approval by holier members of the congregation).
Salary Expected: I'm VERY wide open.
Area Desired: I prefer one of the nicer homes on the Landover complex. A real blessing would be one with an unobstructed view of Pastor Zeke's home within range of 10x50 binoculars, or one that overlooks our church.
Excellent references can be provided (mostly Catholic, sorry).
Willing to cook, clean, provide security, administer Christian Discipline (I am halfway through the correspondence course), exorcise demons, act as a pool boy; you name it, I'm likely desperate enough to do it. Need a fashion stylist? Call me. Baseball coach? Locker room attendant? I'm there. Versed in the manly arts of woodworking, (I love wood!), plumbing (I specialize in cleaning pipes), and building beautiful erections (monuments, houses, business complexes - from scratch!) for all to enjoy. I'm really fabulous!
Past experience: Rosary making, hearing sins, granting absolution, making holy water. (All of these activities were renounced upon receiving the LORD JESUS CHRIST as my undeserved Savior, as evidenced by my admission as a forum member and guarded approval by holier members of the congregation).
Salary Expected: I'm VERY wide open.
Area Desired: I prefer one of the nicer homes on the Landover complex. A real blessing would be one with an unobstructed view of Pastor Zeke's home within range of 10x50 binoculars, or one that overlooks our church.
Excellent references can be provided (mostly Catholic, sorry).
Comment