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IS your wife slacking off on her child rearing Christian duties that she should be ashamed of not completing and deserves ten beatings? Do you need a break from the screaming demons your children have become?
No worries!
I'm here to help you. For Today and every other day, I give you the benefit of my quality babysitting services at an amazing afforable price! Any age from 0-18 can come!
Incredible Prices!
0-5 years old: $30,000 an hour! These Sinful Whiny toddlers will get to watch Passion of the Christ and draw pictures about what they learnt about it to quicken the speed in which they are saved!
6-12 years old: $25,000 an hour! Boys will be practicing with their guns to shoot the birds while Girls are taught how to bake pies. At the end there will be a Bible Study time to Study the Bible.
13-18 years old: $20,000 an hour! At this age, it is vital their faith in Jesus is secure. So they will spent the entire time copying the Bible, word by word.
Details...
I live on 500 Jesus Street. Come anytime and pay when you come to pick them up. Cash only, no eftpos. At the kind request of Pastor Ezekiel Flint (Isn't he handsome
?) all earnings are tithed to Landover Baptist.
And if you call now you'll get...
To pick your own object which will be used to beat the child with if they are bad! As well as a Buy One Get One Free if you call within the next five minutes! And a 10% discount if you buy five and call within twenty minutes!
Terms and conditions apply!
This offer is available for
True Christians Only. If your child is retarded, crippled, has damaged stones or privy member, has sinful ansesctors, is a slut, or has said the Lord's name in vain then the price is $80,000 per half hour (Not including tax, Sinners fees or child-sinner welfare fees).
No worries!
I'm here to help you. For Today and every other day, I give you the benefit of my quality babysitting services at an amazing afforable price! Any age from 0-18 can come!
Incredible Prices!
0-5 years old: $30,000 an hour! These Sinful Whiny toddlers will get to watch Passion of the Christ and draw pictures about what they learnt about it to quicken the speed in which they are saved!
6-12 years old: $25,000 an hour! Boys will be practicing with their guns to shoot the birds while Girls are taught how to bake pies. At the end there will be a Bible Study time to Study the Bible.
13-18 years old: $20,000 an hour! At this age, it is vital their faith in Jesus is secure. So they will spent the entire time copying the Bible, word by word.
Details...
I live on 500 Jesus Street. Come anytime and pay when you come to pick them up. Cash only, no eftpos. At the kind request of Pastor Ezekiel Flint (Isn't he handsome
?) all earnings are tithed to Landover Baptist.And if you call now you'll get...
To pick your own object which will be used to beat the child with if they are bad! As well as a Buy One Get One Free if you call within the next five minutes! And a 10% discount if you buy five and call within twenty minutes!
Terms and conditions apply!
This offer is available for
True Christians Only. If your child is retarded, crippled, has damaged stones or privy member, has sinful ansesctors, is a slut, or has said the Lord's name in vain then the price is $80,000 per half hour (Not including tax, Sinners fees or child-sinner welfare fees).
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