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  • Afraid of Heights? No need to fear rapture!

    Many people suffer from a sinful condition known as a phobia. This is an irrational fear of something. It might be fear of animals. It might be fear of loud noises. It could even be fear of fear. One of the most common phobias is a fear of heights. With the rapture imminent, you may be thinking, "How can I fly through the air to be with Jesus in the twinkling of an eye when I have this debilitating fear of high places??"

    Friend, you are not alone. I am here to tell you that thousands of Heaven Bound individuals are concerned about rapturous air travel. Just read what Mr. LP of NYC had to say:

    "Like many, I was concerned about rapturous air travel. I know I am bound for Glory because my sins were taken away in baptism when I believed on the Lord Jesus Christ. But meet Him in the air? I just didn't know. But then I heard about SafeRapture."

    Friends, SafeRapture is an air travel conveyance for the End of Time. It is being built right now in an ubersecret location near the Million Dollar Highway in Colorado in a large black building not far from the Epperson farm on County Road 24B. It has a black Dodge Durango out front. But anyway: this will be THE answer to the skiddish Child of God anxious for all the wrong reasons to be caught up in the air. You should know Jesus would protect you - but if you still have your doubts, you'll want to invest in this product! GUARANTEED to be completed before you need it, your seat can ONLY be reserved through this exclusive offer. While this company is in NO WAY AFFILIATED WITH LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH, all Landover True Christians™ will receive a seat for 3% off the usual fee. And best of all: you get to PICK the location where your seat will be installed. Think of a large flying ark with you in a wide comfortable seat enjoying your journey to the side of the Master as He prepares to send all sinful souls to Hell! The Marriage Supper of the Lamb excursion is available for a separate fee.

    You're probably skeptical. Jesus could come any moment. Well, listen to this from a JC of Nazareth: "I won't come until it's ready."

    WOW! How's THAT for a guarantee? WOW! I hope you'll contact us for details on how just affordable it is to throw away fear and instead have complete confidence in SafeRapture. It's the only way to arrive in that ultimate of special occasions. Hurry! He comes quickly!
    Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
    “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

    Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
    Amen and Amen

  • #2
    Re: Afraid of Heights? No need to fear rapture!

    If we have left the earth during The Rapture and the (old) earth is destroyed, will we still have legs? What purpose would they serve? Anyway although I do not "have" phobias I was wondering - if we no longer have legs and feet - how would anyone sit on a seat?

    In addition, do you know if The Firmament will still be there?

    Thank you,