[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

I am not doing much this winter, is this part time or would you want more than 2-3 days a week? It would keep me busy, I guess.

[James Dewitt]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

I am not doing much this winter, is this part time or would you want more than 2-3 days a week? It would keep me busy, I guess.

Brother Davis I am afraid that this is very much a full time position. Lots of travel. Next week I am flying to Iberia Spain, to look at a stripper club. DFAC might purchase it and turn it into a half way house for whores or a Christian Book Store. I will keep your offer on the books for 1 year. Thanks James

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

Brother Davis I am afraid that this is very much a full time position. Lots of travel. Next week I am flying to Iberia Spain, to look at a stripper club. DFAC might purchase it and turn it into a half way house for whores or a Christian Book Store. I will keep your offer on the books for 1 year. Thanks James

Brother James, you seem to be having difficulty attracting qualified (and sane) candidates.

I know you expect me to offer myself for the position; as a Pastor and experienced Church Planter, I am certainly more than capable of managing your Foundation. However, I would not be able to begin work for a few months; probably by June, when the building opens, but probably not before.

Have you considered Widow Helen? She was a very successful businesswoman for decades until a certain Amway sucker "Independent Businessman" repeatedly scheduled large events at her establishment and failed to pay his bills. (I bear some of the responsibility, as I told her that she should extend credit to this True Christian™, as surely he would not leave a Christian widow in the lurch. He did.)

She could get the ball rolling until I am able to take over, and then remain as my deputy director. She has excellent human resources skills; in fact, in her youth, she had a career in recruitment. She was a renowned headhunter back in New York City; she then switched to the other side, and worked as one of those people who handle the employees during downsizing. Quite the hatchet lady, she is. Let me tell you, as a man who has seen her in action, when she gets to work, the heads roll!

The Bed & Breakfast was supposed to be her early retirement . . .

[James Dewitt]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

Brother James, you seem to be having difficulty attracting qualified (and sane) candidates.

I know you expect me to offer myself for the position; as a Pastor and experienced Church Planter, I am certainly more than capable of managing your Foundation. However, I would not be able to begin work for a few months; probably by June, when the building opens, but probably not before.

Have you considered Widow Helen? She was a very successful businesswoman for decades until a certain Amway sucker "Independent Businessman" repeatedly scheduled large events at her establishment and failed to pay his bills. (I bear some of the responsibility, as I told her that she should extend credit to this True Christian™, as surely he would not leave a Christian widow in the lurch. He did.)

She could get the ball rolling until I am able to take over, and then remain as my deputy director. She has excellent human resources skills; in fact, in her youth, she had a career in recruitment. She was a renowned headhunter back in New York City; she then switched to the other side, and worked as one of those people who handle the employees during downsizing. Quite the hatchet lady, she is. Let me tell you, as a man who has seen her in action, when she gets to work, the heads roll!

The Bed & Breakfast was supposed to be her early retirement . . .

Thanks so much for the input. I will have to take a pass on the widow. I have been in touch with a few people in private. I have narrowed it down to 2 or 3 people. As for the Amway dealer(Yes I know who you mean). Lets just say this do not store your Hummer limo at his trailer park. I left mine there for a few weeks with a AM express credit card. In two weeks $249,789.25 in charges, limo on blocks tires gone, engine gone and a lot of weird balloons in the back seat with several empty bottles of tequila.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

Thanks so much for the input. I will have to take a pass on the widow. I have been in touch with a few people in private. I have narrowed it down to 2 or 3 people. As for the Amway dealer(Yes I know who you mean). Lets just say this do not store your Hummer limo at his trailer park. I left mine there for a few weeks with a AM express credit card. In two weeks $249,789.25 in charges, limo on blocks tires gone, engine gone and a lot of weird balloons in the back seat with several empty bottles of tequila.

Tequila you say, sounds like you had a nest of messicans move in there. I would get the police to check that out, could be a couple still in there under the seats or something..

[James Dewitt]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

Tequila you say, sounds like you had a nest of messicans move in there. I would get the police to check that out, could be a couple still in there under the seats or something..

I got to tell ya if there is a couple of messicants under the back seat, they aint happy. I had the Hummer crushed.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

I got to tell ya if there is a couple of messicants under the back seat, they aint happy. I had the Hummer crushed.

You had a baby blue Hummer! cool!

[James Dewitt]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

I have made my decision on the matter of the new head of DFAC. After conducting a world wide search, reading thousands of resumes and speaking with Jesus and the Pastors. Brother Harold Porter has been selected. I am sure that Brother Porter will run DFAC in a manor that will please God. He is a devout Christian, the highest of moral fortitude and a darn nice guy. Effective immediately Brother Porter is the face of DFAC, may Jesus guide you in your work.


James Dewitt.

[HTannor]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

I got to tell ya if there is a couple of messicants under the back seat, they aint happy. I had the Hummer crushed.

Don't worry about the messicants. I tipped them off the crushers were coming and they moved into your boat.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

I have made my decision on the matter of the new head of DFAC. After conducting a world wide search, reading thousands of resumes and speaking with Jesus and the Pastors. Brother Harold Porter has been selected. I am sure that Brother Porter will run DFAC in a manor that will please God. He is a devout Christian, the highest of moral fortitude and a darn nice guy. Effective immediately Brother Porter is the face of DFAC, may Jesus guide you in your work.


James Dewitt.

Priase Jesus and thank you for the vote of confidence, my Christian Brother.

I am honored to serve as the CEO/Chairman of the Board and look forward to extending the love of Jesus Christ (through DFAC) to those with disposable income and steaks in the freezer, but no Jesus in their hearts.

The first order of business will be construction of my office in order to create an environment in which I will be my most productive. As we discussed, my time will be split between DFAC and my Landover Senior Outreach program, which reaches out and touches the most vulnerable in society with the love of Jesus Christ. I've already arranged accounts with Freehold Pool and Spa, Agape Home Theater and Landover Leather Interiors. They are instructed to expedite their construction activities.

I've arranged a meeting with my CFO Roger Sweeney to address any unwarranted expenditures or overpriced contracts that we can eliminate in order to preserve capital in this difficult economy. Mr. Sweeney has indicated that he has one set of the books, but you are in posession of a "similar" set. I'm not sure what this means, but your presence is required in his office on the 27th at 7:00 AM in order to reconcile any irregularities in our accounting.

Praise be to God!

Sincerely,

Harold Porter

[HTannor]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

I've arranged a meeting with my CFO Roger Sweeney to address any unwarranted expenditures or overpriced contracts that we can eliminate in order to preserve capital in this difficult economy. Mr. Sweeney has indicated that he has one set of the books, but you are in posession of a "similar" set. I'm not sure what this means, but your presence is required in his office on the 27th at 7:00 AM in order to reconcile any irregularities in our accounting.

Congratulations, Brother Porter, I'm pleased to see your steady hand about to take the tiller, ready to guide this newly-launched ship into safe and productive waters. Brother James made a fine choice.

The only disconsolate note in your acceptance is that dealing with the "similar" sets of books. I sincerely hope this pesky little issue can resolved to the parties mutual satisfaction rather than be played out in the public eye.

And here, of course, I refer to estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre, a legal principle often cited in cases where accounting is an issue. But, I'm sure you are already familiar with such things.

Should you or Mr. Sweeney (it seems strange that you didn't refer to him as "Brother" Sweeney. Is this a way of saying that this person is not a True Christian™? And the name Sweeney strikes me as more of the drunken Irish persuasion as opposed to a shifty jooish one) need further guidance in this matter, I would refer you to State v Slikbooks, Inc., 1962, 2nd District.

In that case, Bernard Maddov, CEO of Slikbooks, Inc, provided accounting guidance to the Little Sisters of the Poor, a charity involved in rehabilitating besotted sailors who had been press-ganged into service off the Somali coast.

Millions had been donated to the charity for its outreach program. The problem was Slikbooks and Maddov had a longer reach than the Little Sisters and, according to court testimony, "reached deeply into the pants of the Little Sisters" and "cleaned out their knickers" before they knew what happened. Maddov, of course, was hanged and his CFO ended up doing hard time with a cellmate known among the yard gang as "Little" Richard - a play on words, as it were.

Now, I'm very sure, the issue between you and Brother James isn't all that serious, but I'm pleased you're taking "due diligence" in assuming the post.

With that, Brother Porter, I wish you smooth sailing, and keep the wind at your back.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

Thanks so much for the input. I will have to take a pass on the widow. I have been in touch with a few people in private. I have narrowed it down to 2 or 3 people. As for the Amway dealer(Yes I know who you mean). Lets just say this do not store your Hummer limo at his trailer park.

Apparently, you don't. You just hired him.

Let me know when you wish to pick up the pieces. Widow Helen and I are both good at putting financial Humpty Dumpties together again.

[James Dewitt]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

Rev. M. Rodimer;682674]Apparently, you don't. You just hired him.

I thought you where talking about a certain Judge, my bad.

Let me know when you wish to pick up the pieces. Widow Helen and I are both good at putting financial Humpty Dumpties together again

Rev. how would you have the time necessary for the job? You are on the road with truckers Evey day

Did you really think that I would hire a woman to run DFAC? Come on REV. think about it. She would have unfettered access to well over 1 billion dollars. That's a lot of shoes.

[HTannor]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

I thought you where talking about a certain Judge, my bad.

Are you mocking a member of the entrepreneurial class?

You are on the road with truckers Evey day

More likely spending a lot of time in truck stops. Spreading the word of Jesus, of course.

[James Dewitt]

Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011

HTannor;682813]Are you mocking a member of the entrepreneurial class?

Who me? No way.
When are you going to cough up the $250 large that you ran up on my AM express card?

More likely spending a lot of time in truck stops. Spreading the word of Jesus, of course

You bet, nudge, nudge wink, wink.