Group members gather to study and savor the wit and wisdom of Old Man Hatchet, as well as laud his many, many virtues.

Meets Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6:00 to 9:00 p.m. If a meeting falls on a holiday, said meeting is canceled (please consult The Old Man Hatchet Admiration Society handbook for a list of recognized holidays--heck, I'll just tell you: Christmas for sure, and the Fourth of July if I'm feeling up to going to the fireworks), but the next scheduled meeting after the holiday becomes a double session. Emergency meetings are held on Saturday evenings from 6:00 to 8:00 if all of Old Man Hatchet's quips and insightful comments for the week are not fully discussed during normal meeting hours.

Absences incur a $500.00 penalty*. Absolutely, positively no excuses for missed meetings unless the member has a note signed by Jesus Himself (be warned: I own an autographed 8 x 10 glossy of Jesus so I can spot a forgery). A test is administered at every meeting to gauge each member's knowledge about ever