On Bacteria

[Born Again Bob]

Dear Friend,

All bacteria are hell-bound. These stubborn Prokaryotes have had two thousand years to accept Jesus into their hearts (metaphorically), and yet out best Scientists for Christ™ have found no evidence of conversion. Bacteria continue to writhe about with their wicked flagella, reproducing asexually (clearly CHRONIC MASTURBATORS), each mocking God with every atom of its cell. Just wait until the end times -- Satan will show them some real bacilli and cocci!

Yours in Him,
BAB

[SUV]

Re: On Bacteria

Oh-my-GoD - and don't even get Pastor Pistle going on those EYELASH MITES!!!

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: On Bacteria

We are called to preach to every creature:

And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature. Matthew 15:16

I am perfectly willing to accost neighborhood squirrels, and cats, and chickens, and even the odd frog -- why, just the other day I was arrested for proclaiming Ecclesiasted 3:7 to a treefrog in the lilac bush at 2:00 AM. "There is a time to KEEP SILENCE," I bellowed out the window, "and NOW IS THAT TIME, by God!" Then the neighbors called the cops.

But I cannot preach to bacteria because they are tiny and have neither ears nor eyes.

And let me tell you, scientists are no help. Are they working on building a horde of nano-evangelists to bring the Gospel to microscopic creatures in a way these wee beasties can understand? No. They are not. They are no help at all.

~~ OEJ

[SUV]

Re: On Bacteria

And let me tell you, scientists are no help.

"Scientists"

They only help themselves - no doubt by getting sticky fingers when the Collection Plate is passed around in their athian Churches.

[Newton]

Re: On Bacteria

This topic made me laugh, like so many others.

Your statement is wrong on just about every level that exists.

You and I believe that God created everything, therefore He created bacteria.

Without bacteria plants wouldn't exist. Plants require nitrogen for a menagorie of reasons, nitrogen gas is N2, and plants can't use this. Instead, bacteria "fix" the nitrogen for plant use. Ammonia is also used in fertilisers, which helps plants grow.

Without bacteria this entire planet would be covered in waste products of every living thing ever, bacteria are essential for the breakdown of waste products to put them back in the ground ready for recycling.

Bacteria live in your gut, millions of them. Bacteria, such as e-coli assist digestion, and even make vitamins. Without bacteria you would have terrible constipation permanently, which would not be pleasent for you or those around you!

Any diabetics owe their life to bacteria, which produces their insulin.

And a billion more reasons why bacteria are essential.

EVIDENCE THAT THEY ARE CONVERTED?! What evidence are you after?! Do you want scientists to look under microscopes to see if they are reading their Bibles or something?! Idiot.

Reproducing asexually. It might interest you that cells in your body are reproducing asexually all the time. Mitosis, other wise known as asexual reproduction occurs so that we can grow...! Besides, last time I checked, bacteria didn't have penis' or vaginas in which to reproduce sexually anyway. Masturbation has to occur when the genitalia actually exist...Masturbation maybe sinful, but you cannot reproduce via it...!

SUV - mites are a totally different type of creature.

The majority of creatures on this Earth don't have eyes or ears. Every microscopic species, a huge number of fish and crustaceans, a variety of insects and the list goes on.

Does that mean every single yeast cell that is responsible for wine production and bread is doomed too? Or what about, arghh, I don't know if its worth going on.

Nano evangalists? Why on Gods blessed Earth would they want to? A total waste of resources because nothing would happen. Maybe in your "University of Landover" you could develop some nano evangalists to bring the gospel to bacteria. Would be ammusing.

[Newton]

Re: On Bacteria

Just noticed something else.

You specied "atoms", does that MEAN you are admitting ATOMS exist? My my, just in another topic I was reading about how atomic theory was totally debunked...Does that mean you are hypocritical?Why, yes it does.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: On Bacteria

Do you believe that bacteria will be in Heaven? Whatever for? We won't need to eat there.

If you don't believe bacteria go to Heaven or Hell, then what do you think happens to bacteria when they die? Please use scripture to back up your statement.

No one gets into Heaven without accepting Jesus into their heart (or vacuole).

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: On Bacteria

Do you believe that bacteria will be in Heaven? Whatever for? We won't need to eat there.

If you don't believe bacteria go to Heaven or Hell, then what do you think happens to bacteria when they die? Please use scripture to back up your statement.

No one gets into Heaven without accepting Jesus into their heart (or vacuole).

Pastor Billy-Reuben

Godly words Pastor. The bacteria made a choice by not choosing a body form that could praise Jesus so they have to suffer the consequences as go to hell with all the other sinners.

[JennyD]

Re: On Bacteria

Nano evangalists? Why on Gods blessed Earth would they want to? A total waste of resources because nothing would happen. Maybe in your "University of Landover" you could develop some nano evangalists to bring the gospel to bacteria. Would be ammusing.

Well, Juice, maybe YOU think it's a great thing that all bacteria are condemned to Hell, but we at Landover would much rather see them Saved.

Lord, please help Juice Newton to soften her hard heart, and let her open up to Your Warming Love!

Amen.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: On Bacteria

Lord, please help Juice Newton to soften her hard heart, and let her open up to Your Warming Love!

Amen.

Sister Jenny,

I think she should burn in Hell for that song of hers...... Angel of the Morning.

What a whore

[SUV]

Re: On Bacteria

Sister Jenny,

I think she should burn in Hell for that song of hers...... Angel of the Morning.

What a whore

Fig Newtons are whores, too

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: On Bacteria

I don't know about all of this.. It's a well known Creation-science fact that bacteria don't even exist. Nor does the Bible mention such things.
Bacteria is just another secular lie dreamed up to "explain" how disease could happen when you exclude God and demons.

People get sick because God wants them to get sick (he either causes it directly, or allows a demon to cause it) all there is to it.


And the fact that we're called to preach the gospel to every creature...
Doesn't mean that those creatures have a soul and can be Saved!
Really, animals can't be Saved, being soulless creatures, but we're still called to preach to them like if they had one:
And to punish them according to God's law when they misbehave.
(Leviticus 20:16 being one example.)

[Sacha-DG]

Re: On Bacteria

I don't know about all of this.. It's a well known Creation-science fact that bacteria don't even exist. Nor does the Bible mention such things.
Bacteria is just another secular lie dreamed up to "explain" how disease could happen when you exclude God and demons.

People get sick because God wants them to get sick (he either causes it directly, or allows a demon to cause it) all there is to it.


And the fact that we're called to preach the gospel to every creature...
Doesn't mean that those creatures have a soul and can be Saved!
Really, animals can't be Saved, being soulless creatures, but we're still called to preach to them like if they had one:
And to punish them according to God's law when they misbehave.
(Leviticus 20:16 being one example.)

If you looked under a microscope, you could see a bacterium. When more proof do you need that what you can see with own eyes?
You Christians are so up on your high horse about your design argument, and then say that in fact our design is not that complex after all.
Way to go.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: On Bacteria

If you looked under a microscope, you could see a bacterium. When more proof do you need that what you can see with own eyes?

PROVE that what one sees when looking through a microscope is actually bacterium..
Go ahead. Try it. You can't, because what you're saying just isn't true.

[Sacha-DG]

Re: On Bacteria

PROVE that what one sees when looking through a microscope is actually bacterium..
Go ahead. Try it. You can't, because what you're saying just isn't true.

Actually I can. If you were to examine the inside of the standard microscope, you would see that all that is inside is a series of glass lenses. Now when I look through a magnifying glass, or spectacles, which are also glass lenses, I can see what is right before me when I am not looking through it, only larger. Thus, I can safely say that a glass lense of this nature magnifies the appearance of whatever you look at through it. Therefore, I can know that I am not being deceived by some unknown device.
When I look through a microscope, I see these bacteria. I am able to examine their movement, reproduction and actions.
Now prove to me it isn't bacterium