[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

All I can say is that it is about time we help niglets right here in America rather than some spear chuckers in Africa (and thank God we don't have to listen to Sally Struthers again).

[SUV]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

THIS comes as no surprise. Great spot for that Pie you just stole off some White person's windowsill, Bubba!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

Friends, I have great news! I just upped the ante in terms of rewards for you when you sign up for the program. I managed to procure a deal with a Chinese toy manufacturer* to create cute and lovable plush doll darkies! This is just another way of saying "Thanks" when you sponsor a niglet.



As you see, they come in four sizes. The smallest size is for those who sign up for the $49.95/mo plan. The next size is for the $79.95, followed by the $199.95 plan. Finally the big King Kong himself, that enormous 3-footer is for our Platinum Club members who donate just $999.95 a month.

These plush dolls are great icebreakers. Put them with your teddy bear collection or let your kid drag it around when you're shopping at Wal-Mart.

Thank you for your support of the "Sponsor a Niglet" evangelical program. Without your generous contributions, I wouldn't be able to afford the limo I use to go to the inner cities and teach poor niglets about Jesus and how to be Saved®.

*Note: the filling of these toys is toxic so your child should play only under parental supervision.

[Once was lost]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

I think that's a wonderful idea there my friends. A question? If i sign up and later have to cancel out,do i have to return my lovable plush Darkie?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

No, of course not. But your credit card will be billed for the cost of the darkie doll, which varies between $14.99, $29.99, $39.99 and $89.99.

[James Hutchins]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

Rev. Osborne, I'd like to be part of this wonderful program. My family would like to sponsor two niglets at $79.99 each per month. You have my credit card info on file that you use for your inspirational CD's of the month club.
I'd prefer two males, related if that is possible (same mother AND father). How long must I wait until I can collect my niglets? Is it like puppies where you have to wait 6~8 weeks (but years for a niglet) so they are house trained? Is there any guarantee about disease or defect? Do I have to get them checked by my own vetdoctor or do they com with a 'certificate of authenticity? Finally, do I have to come and get them or do you ship them in boxes (with air holes, I hope)?

[Loquacious Jefferson]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

Oh lawd, I would buy one o' dem great big dolls if I had a job. Put im in da passenga seat o my Eldorado so I can drive in da carpoo lane.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

Brother Hutchins, I already took the liberty of putting your credit cards through so the first transaction was this evening. Now, let me remind you and everyone here, that you don't get the niglets. You don't even have to see the niglets.

What the money is used for is to educate niglets about True Christianity(tm). You yourself have no role in this. All you provide is money, we handle the rest. With the money raised so far from generous donors like you, we've just purchased a brand new 2010 Cadillac Escalade stretch custom limo. Seats 14, has a mini bar, small fridge, leather couches, two 42" plasma TVs with satellite, a blu-ray player, and a massage chair. You should see the look on the little niglets faces when they see this gigantic pastormobile pull up. We make it clear to them that if they become True Christians(tm) when they are older, God will reward them just like he rewarded us.

[James Hutchins]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

Ah, I see, sorry for the misunderstanding. Just as well, there are too many nigras running about in the world as it is, I really do not need to see any more. I knew the money would be put to a good cause.
Rev., your tireless efforts never cease to amaze me. If I can be 1/10th the True Christian™ you are, I'd feel like a truly blessed man.

[HTannor]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

With the money raised so far from generous donors like you, we've just purchased a brand new 2010 Cadillac Escalade stretch custom limo. Seats 14, has a mini bar, small fridge, leather couches, two 42" plasma TVs with satellite, a blu-ray player, and a massage chair. You should see the look on the little niglets faces when they see this gigantic pastormobile pull up. We make it clear to them that if they become True Christians™ when they are older, God will reward them just like he rewarded us.

Rev. Jim, do the niglets get to ride in your Escalade? I mean actually get into it?

I'm very concerned about some of that coloration rubbing off on the seats. And what about the smell they leave?

[James Hutchins]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

Rev. I hope one of the little niglets is like this boy. I like to watch him do that shuffle dance.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

Rev. I hope one of the little niglets is like this boy. I like to watch him do that shuffle dance.

Shooooweeee that lil niglet can shuffle! Image how fast he will be able to out run the cops when he grows up!

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

I'm sponsering cute lil Oblio...
PS I sure hope she isn't a Catlick!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

Attention all Niglet Sponsors!

Announcing the 1st Annual Niglet Talent Show!
Your Niglets compete for fabulous cash and prizes, which goes to you as well!

Saturday, Sept. 26, 2009
Show starts at 7:00 pm
At the Freehold Municipal Auditorium

Come on down for an exciting evening. We are having all the niglets in the program star in a fantastic talent show which will surely entertain you. Watch your niglets shuffle and dance, like in the videos above! Hear their rich, soulful voices belt out negro spirituals! Watch them make 50 basketball shots in a row!

We have a select panel of judges who rate them in several categories: Best dance, Most submissive/respectful, Cutest niglet, and many more. If your niglet wins, not only do they receive cash and/or prizes, but you do too!

So come on down and support the niglet you sponsored. You'll have a great time!

By no means do you have to meet your niglet or touch them. Private armed security will be on staff to make sure none of your automobiles get broken into or pie thefts will occur. All niglets pass through metal detection and strip search prior to being allowed on the grounds.

[Emil Sledge]

Re: "Sponsor a Niglet": Evangelical Mission to Save Negro Childre

Hey theres bunches of them there niglets living here at the howard Johnsons over here in Davenport iowa. They all loook like they need savin so I could bring you some o them if you want just let me know there parents wouoldnt miss them cause they smoke stuff al a time that makes them goofy and they DO NOT LOVE JESsus casue there aint one of them gets up for church on sunday mornings they sleep all day and theyre kids run all over the place just like the cockroches do. so let me know how many you need and i can bring you some as soon as I have enough money for the Gray hound to go to free Hold.