[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

I think more medical research needs to be done on this. 99% of criminals who would get stoned are minorities, and I'm pretty sure none of their organs will work in a white person's.

Amen, Rev. Jim! Last thing I would want is a negro's heart in my chest. If I ever got a heart transplant and the donor was a negro, no doubt I'd soon start talking jive, steal handbags from old ladies, snort crack, plus my tallywacker would grow to a ridiculous size.

Another thing I'm worried about are them stem cells. I'm sure that Obama's death panels wants to inject white people with stem cells to create more homos for gay marriage - that way, we white Americans won't reproduce and Kenya gets to take over the world!

You betcha' that ACORN is behind all this.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Gentlemen, I think you are missing a key point. An organ must be viable, that mean able to work and function. God knows, that alone excludes ever organ from a lay about, shuffle footed, pie stealing, homer nigra

[Mervyn Kohl Duggar]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Now I am confused my brothers. A month ago I had asked if I should stone my ex-fiancee and was advised that we must obey secular law. Now there seems to be a shift in opinion. Should I reunite with my ex-fiancee and gather the elders of my community and arrange a stoning now?

God Bless You,
Mervyn Kohl Duggar

[True Disciple]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

I think harvesting organs from condemned criminals has merits as a lucrative business opportunity, but I'll be frank on this issue. I don't know if I would be comfortable having a kidney from some homosexual thief in me. Especially if they were a negro. Are negro kidneys even compatible with white kidneys?

Oh, but we don't have to use them ourselves. There are some very rich negroes around (Oh, the blasphemy!), and they won't have a problem buying organs from other negroes, I think. We ourselves don't really need those organs, as we are kept healthy by prayer.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Oh, but we don't have to use them ourselves. There are some very rich negroes around

Excellent point, Brother True! Indeed, we have already supplied organs to some famous wealthy black clients. Among the more notable ones:


Idi Amin, humanitarian
Recipient of brain transplant. Donor was believed to be Adolph Hitler.


Robert Mugabe, economist
Another brain transplant recipient. Donor was Chicago School economist Milton Friedman.


Clarence Thomas, porn star
Recipient of tallywacker transplant.


Nino Brown, businessman (pharmaceuticals)
No actual transplant, but had numerous gold chains and other pieces of gold jewelry permanently grafted to his skin.

You can't imagine how proud it makes me feel to know that my company has been contributing to racial harmony by helping these upstanding members of the black community. They will no doubt serve as roll models to negro youth everywhere.

[True Disciple]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Idi Amin, humanitarian
Recipient of brain transplant. Donor was believed to be Adolph Hitler.

Robert Mugabe, economist
Another brain transplant recipient. Donor was Chicago School economist Milton Friedman.

Clarence Thomas, porn star
Recipient of tallywacker transplant.

Nino Brown, businessman (pharmaceuticals)
No actual transplant, but had numerous gold chains and other pieces of gold jewelry permanently grafted to his skin.

You can't imagine how proud it makes me feel to know that my company has been contributing to racial harmony by helping these upstanding members of the black community. They will no doubt serve as roll models to negro youth everywhere.

Uh...Brother, I am suddenly worried.

At what point in their lives exactly did those people receive their transplants? Because, you see, all of your donors seem to be white jewish persons, and if they received their transplants early in their life, then it might explain the elusive mystery as to how negroes can suddenly be intelligent and successful nowadays, while every white person knows that the Hamite race is considerably less blessed with mental capacities than Caucasian people are.
I mean, it is inadvisable to transplant organs of black people into white people, but the other way around may be inadvisable as well, as the donors you mentioned are among the most uppity negroes the world has known, displaying an extraordinary mastery of True Caucasian(tm) characteristics, like intelligence, ambition, morality etc. Could this be the result of those transplants? I mean, it is a really Godly and profitable business, of course, but we don't really want more uppity negroes than we already have in this world, do we?

[Aristotle]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Gentlemen, I think you are missing a key point. An organ must be viable, that mean able to work and function. God knows, that alone excludes ever organ from a lay about, shuffle footed, pie stealing, homer nigra

What about those unfortunate enough to have their manhood injured? We know that unless they get repairs done, they cannot enter the church (Deuteronomy, Chapter 23). Now, Negro males have exceptionally large parts there. Perhaps these could be used for transplants.

[True Disciple]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

What about those unfortunate enough to have their manhood injured? We know that unless they get repairs done, they cannot enter the church (Deuteronomy, Chapter 23). Now, Negro males have exceptionally large parts there. Perhaps these could be used for transplants.

I don't know this, Brother...besides that I wouldn't want to have a black tallywhacker, Deuteronomy 23:1 speaks about "wounded in the stones." I don't think a white person with a black tallywhacker can be considered "healthy"...

Deuteronomy 23:1:
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Uh...Brother, I am suddenly worried.

At what point in their lives exactly did those people receive their transplants? Because, you see, all of your donors seem to be white jewish persons, and if they received their transplants early in their life, then it might explain the elusive mystery as to how negroes can suddenly be intelligent and successful nowadays, while every white person knows that the Hamite race is considerably less blessed with mental capacities than Caucasian people are.
I mean, it is inadvisable to transplant organs of black people into white people, but the other way around may be inadvisable as well, as the donors you mentioned are among the most uppity negroes the world has known, displaying an extraordinary mastery of True Caucasian™ characteristics, like intelligence, ambition, morality etc. Could this be the result of those transplants? I mean, it is a really Godly and profitable business, of course, but we don't really want more uppity negroes than we already have in this world, do we?

Well, in the case of Robert Mugabe, he received Milton Friedman's brain before Friedman actually died. No one noticed any difference in Friedman's behavior, so this was not a problem (note: Friedman did receive a monkey's brain as a substitute - you do need some kind of brain to keep the heart beating and to breathe).

Similarly, Ronald Reagan donated his brain shortly after being elected in 1980, receiving a baboon's brain as a substitute. Again, no one noticed and Reagan went on to become our greatest president!

In short, lack of a functioning brain is not a hindrance, as our political and economic leaders have proven time and again. Most important is having the support of fellow Christian voters.


Future president?

[True Disciple]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Well, in the case of Robert Mugabe, he received Milton Friedman's brain before Friedman actually died. No one noticed any difference in Friedman's behavior, so this was not a problem (note: Friedman did receive a monkey's brain as a substitute - you do need some kind of brain to keep the heart beating and to breathe).

Similarly, Ronald Reagan donated his brain shortly after being elected in 1980, receiving a baboon's brain as a substitute. Again, no one noticed and Reagan went on to become our greatest president!

In short, lack of a functioning brain is not a hindrance, as our political and economic leaders have proven time and again. Most important is having the support of fellow Christian voters.

Whew, that's a great relief, Brother! Coming to think of it, I should have known, the soul resides in the heart after all, according to the Holy Bible, not in the brains, as atheists claim. The brain is just a device for cooling the blood.

[Crocodile]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

This is a very cruel punishment, and it puts us in league with MUSLIMS. I do not think that trial by stoning is the best way to deal His justice. We should instead burn at the stake, and cleanse by holy fire.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

This is a very cruel punishment, and it puts us in league with MUSLIMS. I do not think that trial by stoning is the best way to deal His justice. We should instead burn at the stake, and cleanse by holy fire.

Burning at the stake is good. Audiences love it, and I expect it will increase ticket sales. However, if Obama's Cap&Trade passes, we might be forced to buy carbon credits to do a burning, which will increase costs. Remember, stoning is a green technology.

[Crocodile]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Burning at the stake is good. Audiences love it, and I expect it will increase ticket sales. However, if Obama's Cap&Trade passes, we might be forced to buy carbon credits to do a burning, which will increase costs. Remember, stoning is a green technology.

It is a shame, but shouldn't tax exemption apply? I don't think we should yield to green fascism

[TC Patriot]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

We could always stone them during the burning process. Burning would save the cost of a burial. I see that as good free market thinking. The people who like stonings get to stone and the people who like burnings get what they want. It's a win win situation.

I would love it if we had gospel music performed during the stoning/burning and plenty of mocking of the sinners as an example to young people not to sin.

Once again we see an example of the Godly magic of the free market.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

I would love it if we had gospel music performed during the stoning/burning and plenty of mocking of the sinners as an example to young people not to sin.

Hmm...Actually, you've got some good ideas there. I do see business potential in execution aftermarket products. DVDs of the stonings/burnings, accompanied by gospel music - we could sell those in the Christian bookstores. I might add that we could throw in some advertisements in the background - you know, "product placement" ads. So the executioners could be wearing Levi jeans, sipping on a Starbucks coffee, while behind them there's a Ford F-150 pickup truck.