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genisisread genisisread is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Posts: 1
Join Date: Jan 2011
genisisread is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Help make a difference! Join the Junior Anti-Sex League Today - 01-07-2011, 08:36 PM

According to the bible, God killed 2,391,421 people and Satan only killed 10.

Anyone think that we could be following the wrong guy?

I just read the sickest book in the world.

There was paedophilia, incest, rape, violence, domestic abuse, jews, blacks, pakis. It was piffleing great.

I think it was called 'The Bible'.
So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...

Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

So Jesus was crucified on Good Friday and rose from the dead on the Sunday?

Just in time for half price Easter eggs. Typical piffleing Jew.

you thought you had lag?

It took Jesus 3 days to respawn.
Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like god came down and highlighted all the important parts.
BBC News - "Stephen Hawking: God did not create Universe"

If God DID exist, he'd be pretty pissed off. In fact, if I was god I would probably have gone back in time and punished Hawking in some horrible way...

Nope, no sign of that.

Another Excuse priests use to get kids wet

The problem with Baptists is that they don't hold them under water long enough
Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand.
I used to have an invisible friend, then I stopped going to church.

I got kicked out of the library once for moving all the Bibles to the fiction section.

A woman whose daughter was hospitalised in a US tornado told ITV News that "God would make her better." Presumably, that's a different God from the one that almost killed her with a tornado.

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.

If we're all God's children, then what's so special about Jesus?

Anyone else find it funny that the disclaimer "The characters in this film are authentic and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental" is in the credits for 'The Passion of the Christ'?

I saw a sign outside a church which read:

"C H - R C H... There's only one thing missing."

I'm not sure "CHPROOFRCH" is even a word.

My christian neighbour told me that he will always follow his Bible.

So I threw it off a cliff

Christianity: the belief that a 2,000-year old Jewish zombie will get angry if you masturbate.

Christianity - The religion based on the irony of a carpenter being nailed to a giant wooden cross

How do you execute a real character?

By nailing him to a cross.

Mary: I have something to tell you... I'm pregnant. It's not yours. I'm sorry.

Joseph: ....Holy piffle.

Mary: Funny you should say that...

The Bible is too wordy, the stories are too wordy, there's no need for the ten commandments.

The Bible should be just one sheet of paper that says:

'Try not to be a cunt.'
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