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  • Zechariah Smyth
    Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
    True Christian™
    • Feb 2011
    • 15251

    #346
    Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

    Originally posted by Falgantil View Post
    Let me see if I understand this correct.

    God loves mankind, yes?

    God wants mankind to reproduce, right?

    Conclusion: God wants women to engage in sex, but have them not enjoy it because it is sinful.
    You do realize that in the scenario you are describing, mankind would die.

    Unless of course you are suggesting men should simply rape women. But that doesn't exactly seem holy-minded either.

    Please, enlighten me.
    So, you're claiming that any time a woman doesn't have a so-called "orgasm" she is getting raped?

    That's sick.



    YiC,

    Zech
    sigpic

    Comment

    • Rev. M. Rodimer
      Honorary True Christian™
      Forum Member
      • May 2008
      • 13996

      #347
      Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

      Why would Santa be giving women orgasms? Is that some kind of a sick "sit on my candy cane" holiday perversion?
      Bible boring? Nonsense!
      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

      Comment

      • Daisy Mae Johnson
        The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
        Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
        aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 15708

        #348
        Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

        Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
        Why would Santa be giving women orgasms? Is that some kind of a sick "sit on my candy cane" holiday perversion?

        Yes, when he plays Santa clause.

        sigpic

        Tweet me Here
        My GODLY Bio Here

        Comment

        • Rev. M. Rodimer
          Honorary True Christian™
          Forum Member
          • May 2008
          • 13996

          #349
          Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

          Originally posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
          Yes, when he plays Santa clause.
          He's trying to rape those poor children!

          I knew it was a Catholic thing.


          Santa von Dracula
          Bible boring? Nonsense!
          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

          Comment

          • Mary Etheldreda
            Gushing for Jesus
             
            • Sep 2011
            • 23775

            #350
            Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

            Originally posted by Falgantil View Post
            Let me see if I understand this correct.

            God loves mankind, yes?

            God wants mankind to reproduce, right?

            Conclusion: God wants women to engage in sex, but have them not enjoy it because it is sinful.
            You do realize that in the scenario you are describing, mankind would die.

            Unless of course you are suggesting men should simply rape women. But that doesn't exactly seem holy-minded either.

            Please, enlighten me.
            You are awfully confused, dear. I'm not surprised. The secular educational system has been overrun by the Gay Agenda, and they have one thing on their minds - corrupting youth.



            I will share my own experiences from the point of view of a True Christian™ woman. Mr. Etheldreda has never needed to rape me in order to deposit his seed for matronly incubation. To do so would imply that I would refuse such a request. I would never refuse any request my lawful husband makes, as it is not only my duty and privilege, but it is my very instinct to obey without reservation. You see, my Heavenly Father created me very specifically to be a perfect help meet to my husband. By virtue of my womanly parts, my destiny was sealed, and it would bring me naught but anxiety to try and avoid this very natural drive I have as a woman. (Genesis 2:18)

            Now, as a True Christian™ woman, I recognize God's Divine Justice regulating my part to be played in life. (Genesis 3:16) I would never impose my own understanding over my own life. (Job 28:28; Proverbs 3:5) Therefore, when Mr. Etheldreda feels called by the LORD to supply the Earth with one more Soldier for Christ, I am happy to do my duty, quietly and submissively. As a favor to him, I try to make the experience as quick and pleasant as possible so he can move on to greater and more important work for the Kingdom.

            Orgasm is not necessary for a woman to fulfill her roll in such a way as to be pleasing unto the LORD. I was afraid one time that I had one, a long time ago. It was terrible and I had nightmares about it until Mr. Etheldreda figured out what was troubling me, took me to the elders of the church, and they helped me overcome my weakness. (James 5:14-1) It wasn't an easy thing, there was lots of oil, sweating, a bit of trembling on my part, some blood as I recall, but in the end, I was guaranteed to be free! I am forever grateful to the elders of Landover Baptist Church!

            I can't tell you how good that feels to be free from such trauma. I hope you can understand.

            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment

            • Brother Harold Porter
              Landover Senior Outreach
              Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2010
              • 8236

              #351
              Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

              Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
              I will share my own experiences from the point of view of a True Christian™ woman.
              Excellent Christian advice Sister, particularly for the unsaved strumpets that think it's supposed to be fun for both.

              I had some trouble with Mrs. Porter in this regard when I created our first son for Jesus and placed my gift inside her. There was rapid breathing and guttural moaning that she tried to suppress, but I knew all too well what was going on and commenced a loud recitation of Judges to put an end to the sinfulness.

              For my next three sons, I did the deed while she was asleep and created our children before she was fully roused and making another wicked spectacle of herself. Praise God that he created the man to replenish the earth.

              In Christ
              Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

              sigpic

              Comment

              • Rev. M. Rodimer
                Honorary True Christian™
                Forum Member
                • May 2008
                • 13996

                #352
                Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

                Originally posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
                For my next three sons, I did the deed while she was asleep and created our children before she was fully roused and making another wicked spectacle of herself. Praise God that he created the man to replenish the earth.

                In Christ
                Praise the Lord for aiding you in rapid accomplishment of your husbandly duties, Brother!
                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                Comment

                • Born Again Bob
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 2318

                  #353
                  Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

                  Dear Friends,

                  This is a ridiculous thread, and I am sore tempted to close it. OF COURSE women can't have orgasms! They don't even have penises!

                  Absurd! More time on the Bible and less on science fiction, please.

                  Yours in Him,
                  BAB

                  Comment

                  • Brother Helge
                    True Christian™
                    True Christian™
                    • Jan 2010
                    • 1074

                    #354
                    Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

                    Originally posted by Falgantil View Post
                    Let me see if I understand this correct.

                    God loves mankind, yes?

                    God wants mankind to reproduce, right?

                    Conclusion: God wants women to engage in sex, but have them not enjoy it because it is sinful.
                    You do realize that in the scenario you are describing, mankind would die.

                    Unless of course you are suggesting men should simply rape women. But that doesn't exactly seem holy-minded either.

                    Please, enlighten me.
                    Have you ever heard the phrase "Close your eyes and think of England"?

                    Just substitute England with Jesus and you've got the answer to what a God fearing woman should do.
                    "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
                    John 8:32

                    Comment

                    • tom kinight
                      Unsaved trash, filthy blasphemous foreigner
                      • Mar 2012
                      • 123

                      #355
                      Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

                      Damm,I always thought it was the clit stimulator.So you make a girl cum?The battery operated pleasure machine is SATAN? ha ha ha The clitoris is the only organ in the human body (men or women) that has pleasure as its sole purpose.

                      And I hate to break it to you, but Satan didn't put it on our bodies...I guess all battery operated devices is SATAN! The OP used a computer to type this message therefore he is SATAN! Don't listen to SATAN!

                      Comment

                      • tom kinight
                        Unsaved trash, filthy blasphemous foreigner
                        • Mar 2012
                        • 123

                        #356
                        Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

                        Originally posted by Petal View Post
                        cuz lord Jesus were a bootiful virgins, He not no the first thang abouts nawty sex stuff , so there!

                        i rebukes you for your dirty minds!
                        Well, if Jesus told you that women shouldn't have orgasms, then you need to up your meds.

                        You've made me rethink my view of pharma companies. I guess they do have a purpose, after all... making valium for the "women should never have orgasms, because those are of the devil" crowd.

                        Do you seriously think, for even a minute, that God intends to deprive women of any pleasure from the sex act?

                        Wait, never mind. The Bible god hates humans, and women in particular. How could I forget? Of course that god wouldn't want women to enjoy anything in life.

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 78552

                          #357
                          Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

                          Originally posted by tom kinight View Post
                          Do you seriously think, for even a minute, that God intends to deprive women of any pleasure from the sex act?
                          Where does it say in the Holy Bible that anyone is supposed to "derive pleasure from the sex act?" Chapter and verse please, pervert.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment

                          • John North
                            True Christian™
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2012
                            • 414

                            #358
                            Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

                            Originally posted by Born Again Bob View Post
                            OF COURSE women can't have orgasms! They don't even have penises!

                            Absurd! More time on the Bible and less on science fiction, please.
                            Brother Bob, I’m so glad for this information. You see, by accident I once gave Mrs. North an orgasm (even if I realize now that it must have been something else). Nevertheless, this single episode made me feel bad for years; up until this very day as a matter of fact. Had I done Satan’s work?

                            As a direct result of this, I developed several techniques to minimize the physical contact during intercourse. I also worked very hard on improving on my premature ejaculation. The latter is something any True Christian should feel encouraged to do. Even if these actions has not been in vain – since intercourse is for procreation purposes only and the sooner you can get the act over with the better – I still feel great relief when reading your wise words.
                            Stop whining
                            (1 Thessalonians 5:18) - In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
                            (1 Corinthians 10:10) - Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer
                            (Psalm 106:25) - But murmured in their tents, And hearkened not unto the voice of the LORD
                            (Ephesians 4:29) - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers

                            Comment

                            • timmothy
                              Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocker
                              • Oct 2012
                              • 5

                              #359
                              Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

                              while you people have some points their is one thing i need to announce. God created man in his own image. are you telling me that for thousands of generations the only way to reproduce is a sinful act? if this is so then I'm sure that GOD could have found another way. 9_9 stupid assholes. If woman didn't feel pleasure then she wouldn't do what it is they do. And to be honest I'm currently launching a giant virus to destroy this site and free all the members from the GOD DAMN PASTOR EZEKIEL! I see I have pissed you off now,go a head,ban me I'll just keep returning to slowly kill you in you're sleep. God bless man like me who will stand against abusive jerks like you and you can keep your false bible shit too

                              Comment

                              • Didymus Much
                                Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                                • Jun 2010
                                • 14076

                                #360
                                Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

                                Originally posted by timmothy View Post
                                ... I see I have pissed you off now...

                                Comment

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