[WickedWitch]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I'm sorry, what???
No other primate eats the cucumber because no other primate lives in an environment where the cucumber grows. Cucumbers (and other fruit and vegetables for that matter) EVOLVED to have a tough outer skin because it made them more difficult to eat. Additionally, cucumbers are a cultivated, not wild, flora so they're not naturally occurring in nature, either.
What is the matter with you people???

I'm sorry, I seem to have missed the part where you introduced yourself.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I'm sorry, what???
No other primate eats the cucumber because no other primate lives in an environment where the cucumber grows. Cucumbers (and other fruit and vegetables for that matter) EVOLVED to have a tough outer skin because it made them more difficult to eat. Additionally, cucumbers are a cultivated, not wild, flora so they're not naturally occurring in nature, either.
What is the matter with you people???

Are you trying to say that monkeys refuse to eat cucumbers? Can you back that up with scripture??

[WhySoCentrist]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Are you trying to say that monkeys refuse to eat cucumbers? Can you back that up with scripture??

Uh...that's not what I said. Back what up with scripture?? All I said is that humans are the only primates who cultivate cucumbers, so of course we're the only ones that eat them! Primates in zoos are often given vegetables like that, so I guess they do eat them, but only in captivity.

Maybe I just don't understand what the point of this post is...

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Uh...that's not what I said. Back what up with scripture?? All I said is that humans are the only primates who cultivate cucumbers, so of course we're the only ones that eat them! Primates in zoos are often given vegetables like that, so I guess they do eat them, but only in captivity.

Maybe I just don't understand what the point of this post is...

Friend,

Now how could a cucumber evolve like that? If your theory of evolution is true humans wouldn't have been around to eat them since we are all apes too. You have a vegetable that clearly has a symbiotic (if that is the proper word) relation with the human species and not enough time under your theory for it to evolve that way. It clear only supernatural forces could have created the cucumber.

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

When God instructed Noah to build the Ark and gather two of every species to take on the journey, did He include cucumbers? Or was that something the devil scurried onboard at the last minute under cover? Just a thought.

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

That's a very valid point Mrs Roberts.
I remember one time when my dear departed husband was alive.
There was a loud scream from the Bathroom.
My poor husband had somehow slipped on some soap in the shower, and fell backwards on to one of these Demonic Cucumbers (which just happened to be pointing upright).
It took a team of Surgeons quite some time to remove it.
We never had Cucumber sandwiches again, after that day.
I think he re-lived it several times.

That's very interesting Sister Talitha.
Little Robby Jr. fell in the shower last year. Upon examination I found a large red mark on his little bottom, but I just assumed it was caused by the fall.
Now that I think of it, he used to sing loudly in the shower also.
This is suddenly quite disturbing!
I will now buy only small cucumbers and will immediately cut them into small pieces.
And little Robby Jr. is going to have another red bottom tomorrow. This time from the paddle, not the shower!
A mother's work is never done.

[Talitha]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

A mother's work is never done.

For sure, Sister.
I have to keep reminding my Housekeeper to feed my daughter ever four hours.

As far as accidents in the bathroom, I also suggest that there are no hair brushes, Light bulbs or upside down chairs lying around.
It's just amazing, the number of accidents in our household.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Uh...that's not what I said. Back what up with scripture?? All I said is that humans are the only primates who cultivate cucumbers, so of course we're the only ones that eat them! Primates in zoos are often given vegetables like that, so I guess they do eat them, but only in captivity.

Maybe I just don't understand what the point of this post is...

Are you trying to say that monkeys should be growing things? I think that's pretty mean. They're just dumb animals after all...

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

When God instructed Noah to build the Ark and gather two of every species to take on the journey, did He include cucumbers? Or was that something the devil scurried onboard at the last minute under cover? Just a thought.

Silly woman, cucumbers aren't animals! Plant life was somehow made immune to the flood by the power of God.

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

That's true.
I'm wondering though, how did Noah feed all the herbivores on the Ark?
I still say the devil snuck a cucumber in there.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

That's true.
I'm wondering though, how did Noah feed all the herbivores on the Ark?
I still say the devil snuck a cucumber in there.

First of all, it's not up to a woman to question GOD's work or spend too much time thinking about cucumbers.

However, it is a coincidence because this was exactly the subject of my Doctoral dissertation! I proved that it would have been impossible to get enough food on the ark to feed any of the animals, and there wasn't enough manpower....or shovels for that matter...to clean up after them. So the only possibility is that GOD filled their bellies with manna from Heaven which, as we all know, is evacuated as rainbows.

So none of the animals were hungry, everyone got along, and even the two flies slept for the entire journey because GOD suspended aging on the ark. Only the evil creatures that weren't specified in the float plan suffered and drowned for forty days and forty nights. Finally some white doves woke up and started flying around until one day they returned with an olive branch.

Fortunately my dissertation ended before I had to explain how an olive tree got on top of Mt. Ararat, but I can safely say it was a miracle as well!

PRAISE!

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

First of all, it's not up to a woman to question GOD's work or spend too much time thinking about cucumbers.

However, it is a coincidence because this was exactly the subject of my Doctoral dissertation! I proved that it would have been impossible to get enough food on the ark to feed any of the animals, and there wasn't enough manpower....or shovels for that matter...to clean up after them. So the only possibility is that GOD filled their bellies with manna from Heaven which, as we all know, is evacuated as rainbows.

So none of the animals were hungry, everyone got along, and even the two flies slept for the entire journey because GOD suspended aging on the ark. Only the evil creatures that weren't specified in the float plan suffered and drowned for forty days and forty nights. Finally some white doves woke up and started flying around until one day they returned with an olive branch.

Fortunately my dissertation ended before I had to explain how an olive tree got on top of Mt. Ararat, but I can safely say it was a miracle as well!

PRAISE!

Well that explains it!
Thank you for pointing that out Pastor.
I don't think I'll be planting cucumbers this year, just to be safe.
I'll replace them with zucchini.

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Robert Roberts

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I am willing to offer a $10,000 USD reward to any secularist who can prove my arguement wrong.

Give it your best shot Darwnists.

I want to bump this up. The reward still stands atheist, secularists, deists and non-Christian theists.

Any takers?

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I want to bump this up. The reward still stands atheist, secularists, deists and non-Christian theists.

Any takers?

I don't think you'll get any serious takers, Bobby Joe. Your argument is air-tight. They're just going to ignore it and hope it goes away.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I don't think you'll get any serious takers, Bobby Joe. Your argument is air-tight. They're just going to ignore it and hope it goes away.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

Looks like it Pastor. Still no reply from the monkey worships.

Looks like it checkmate for Darwin.