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  • #1

    My neighbor is a terminator!

    I have an urgent problem. My new neighbor is a terminator. He talks exactly like a robot (monotonic voice), because he is obviously a robot disguised to look like a human. I am pretty sure he is programmed to annihilate mankind, or at least perform an abortion (read: punch the belly) on a random woman that is supposed to give birth to a resistance leader.

    I have no idea which cult would bring this mechanical monster into my city, maybe Scientology, Apple, Aum Shrin Kyu or that Korean Moon worship cult. What should I do?

    These are the options I can think of right now:
    * Hijack the robot and try to disassemble it.
    * Hire a next door computer wizard to hack into the robot OS.
    * Coordinate a communion prayer effort to protect innocent people.
    * Alert the police.

    sigpicCorporal Punishment Advisor, U.S. Department of Family Values
    Cyber-bullying Instructor, Christian Commission on Human Rights
    ★ Apple CEO is gay - Important DFV security considerations
    ★ Higgs field theory disproved - Universe is a cotton field
    ★ Viagra forces man to have his penis amputated
    Tags: robots: evil killing machines
  • #2
    Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

    I would go for option number 2; re-program the robot. Program it to spread the word of God. As a robot, it shouldn’t be obliged to obey secular law (as described in 1st Peter 2:13-17, Romans 13:1-7, not a man and no soul). A killer robot, not having to follow secular law, executing the commands of the KJV 1611 Bible… It’s something appealing about that thought.
    Stop whining
    (1 Thessalonians 5:18) - In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
    (1 Corinthians 10:10) - Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer
    (Psalm 106:25) - But murmured in their tents, And hearkened not unto the voice of the LORD
    (Ephesians 4:29) - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

      My brother! You must retreat far far away from this source of sin and corrupt essence! This surely be the work of Lucifer and his damned dreaded minions "scientists". Brother if escape is not an option I regret to inform you that you will be tainted by the essence and you will need to perform self purification in which you will go on a journey to meet the Lord himself. Tomorrow please begin the ceremony. First take a container of sheep blood. Smear the holy blood onto your face and chest. For then you can carefully cut your own throat and be on your way to God. IF you are a true believe of God then you will do this or you will be deemed a coward and an obvious enemy of God. Good luck to you brother. May your journey be righteous and swift.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

        Originally posted by Born Again Pablo View Post
        ...yada yada yada...
        Blah blah intro forum.

        Blah blah blah your church, favourite Scripture, blah blah blah.

        Blah.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

          Originally posted by Born Again Pablo View Post
          For then you can carefully cut your own throat and be on your way to God.
          While I always applaud annoying people making the world a better place by killing themselves, it should be noted suicide is not allowed and will end with eternal damnation in Hell.
          5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
          To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

            I don't believe in terminators because they aren't in the Bible.
            Most likely you are hallucinating.
            I'm a pervert and I like it that way

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

              Originally posted by UnicornsAreReal View Post
              I don't believe in terminators because they aren't in the Bible.
              Most likely you are hallucinating.
              What?

              Are the internets in the Bible(KJV1611)?

              Think on, missy!

              YIC
              1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

              Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

              Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

                Originally posted by UnicornsAreReal View Post
                I don't believe in terminators because they aren't in the Bible.
                Most likely you are hallucinating.
                I can assure you that Lukasekman is not on LSD. Only liberals hippies and college professors use hallucinogens.
                sigpic

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

                  Originally posted by Laurence Niles View Post
                  What?

                  Are the internets in the Bible(KJV1611)?

                  Think on, missy!

                  YIC
                  No, I don't believe in the internet either.
                  I'm a pervert and I like it that way

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

                    Originally posted by UnicornsAreReal View Post
                    No, I don't believe in the internet either.
                    What kind of retard comment is that? You do realize that we are having this discussion on the internets, right?

                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

                      Another neighbor of mine told me today that the robot might be an actual human with autism. Sounds like bull to me. No way that a virus can transform a human being into a mechanical killing machine. I'm sure even a*tists realize that humans are born while robots are built.

                      sigpicCorporal Punishment Advisor, U.S. Department of Family Values
                      Cyber-bullying Instructor, Christian Commission on Human Rights
                      ★ Apple CEO is gay - Important DFV security considerations
                      ★ Higgs field theory disproved - Universe is a cotton field
                      ★ Viagra forces man to have his penis amputated

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

                        Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
                        What kind of retard comment is that? You do realize that we are having this discussion on the internets, right?

                        I thought I was just talking to my Bible.
                        I'm a pervert and I like it that way

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: My neighbor is a terminator!

                          Originally posted by UnicornsAreReal View Post
                          I thought I was just talking to my Bible.
                          Why would you be talking to your Bible? You should be listening.

                          (Proverbs 19:20) "Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end."

                          YiC,

                          Zech
                          sigpic

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