Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
Reload this Page Apple CEO is gay - secure your network now!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
lukasekman's Avatar
lukasekman lukasekman is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Punched the most queers

 
Posts: 609
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Forrest Park, Memphis
lukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Lightbulb Apple CEO is gay - secure your network now! - 11-01-2014, 12:59 PM

Apple have been under investigation by the U.S. Department of Family Values for a long time. There have been several good reasons for the investigation, and we have finally got a solid proof: CEO Tim Cook have confessed that he is gay.

The U.S. Department of Family Values officially recommends home and business users to immediately stop using any software, hardware or cloud service from Apple. These include but are not limited to:

iCloud: Leaks nude photos and company secrets. Department of Family Values strongly discourage using any cloud service to store sensible data.
Mac: They make you gay
iPhone: Infested with demons
iPad: Promotes terrorism
The Apple logo itself is blasphemous

Windows users should check their "add/remove programs" twice to make sure there is no software installed by Apple or any other gay company. iTunes, MobileME, Bonjour and other common programs by Apple are potential back doors, and may store gay porn in hidden locations.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Redeemed Papist's Avatar
Redeemed Papist Redeemed Papist is offline
Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Friend of Jesus True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator Tell her once Flat Earth Porn Resistant Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Ex-eurotrash True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Punched the most queers Super Soaker Baptism Award TC Bravery True Scientist™ True Heterosexual™ Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Gold Tither Anti-sodomy Hands Off

 
Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Apple CEO is gay - secure your network now! - 11-02-2014, 11:08 AM

It's only a matter of time before Apple products are pre-installed with AIDS oozing out of the keyboards and butt plug shaped mice.



The signs were all there.



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
The truth about volcanos
Sex and debauchery in public schools
Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
lukasekman's Avatar
lukasekman lukasekman is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Punched the most queers

 
Posts: 609
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Forrest Park, Memphis
lukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Apple CEO is gay - secure your network now! - 11-11-2014, 07:25 PM

Computers coming preinfected with viruses, bloatware and other malware is a common nuisance the last decade. It's the result of user experience fags who can't distinguish a PCI slot from an ISA slot trying to do the job that required actual system building skills.

The U.S. Department of Family Values is actually investigating the possibility of computers coming bundled with AIDS as well, as the optimal temperature for growth of AIDS is similar to the cpu temperature of an idle Macbook air. In that case, AIDS will most likely be labeled as a "Social Smart User Premium Experience" or something silly like that.

Back in the good old days, you just had to change a single line in config.sys to make your printer work, and that's it. It didn't occupied much memory either. And if it didn't work, you could just pray the error away. Today, just because the unspanked millennials are too lazy and stupid to change a single line in a text file, a printer driver is almost always bundled with bloatware that steals hundreds of megabytes of your precious ram, and checks for updates every 20 minutes.

In addition, in the good old days when plugging the parts together was a vital skill of using a computer, the rates of autism and cellulites were much lower than today. Autism is most likely the result of an artificial intelligence invading the human brain, and runaway AI is a major risk when computers are optimized for so called user experience instead of modularity.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD True Christian Artist God's chosen ones Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Paula Deen Negro Support Group True Christian Hotrodder 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility 20,000 posts BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Clorox Cured Me Anti-Biden F1 for God

 
Posts: 22,419
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Apple CEO is gay - secure your network now! - 11-12-2014, 12:23 AM

I don't get how this is news. Isn't everyone who works at Apple, owns Apple, likes Apple or votes for Obama gay?


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Apple CEO is gay - secure your network now! - 11-12-2014, 01:16 AM

I searched my computer and I have that Bonjour thing. It's French so it must be gay and it must be eliminated!

WHat it is and how do I safely remove it without getting infected?


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
WWJDnow's Avatar
WWJDnow WWJDnow is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Australia Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Bronze Tither Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 2015 Witch Hunt Award Trump of GOD Asked questions later Persecuted Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Stamp of Approval Hands Off BFF of Jesus Polling for Christ Anti-Biden WWJD

 
Posts: 6,751
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Apple CEO is gay - secure your network now! - 11-12-2014, 08:29 AM

They're all gay at Apple. Who else would want to work at a company named after a fruit?


Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
lukasekman's Avatar
lukasekman lukasekman is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Punched the most queers

 
Posts: 609
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Forrest Park, Memphis
lukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapturelukasekman has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Apple CEO is gay - secure your network now! - 11-12-2014, 10:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I searched my computer and I have that Bonjour thing. It's French so it must be gay and it must be eliminated!

WHat it is and how do I safely remove it without getting infected?
Here is the official recommendation by the U.S. Department of Family Values:
1. Download Autoruns for Windows on a healthy pc and store it on a usb drive.
2. Disconnect your computer from the internet. Unplug the cable or disable the wifi if available.
3. Cover your computer in tin foil or a metal mesh as much as possible.
4. Make a backup of all important files.
5. Go to control panel and chose "Uninstall a program".
6. Remove everything from "Apple Inc.", including but not limited to Bonjour (and anything else that's French), iTunes and iCloud. Remove everything else you don't recognize.
7. Restart your computer in failsafe mode - press F8 which is leetspeak for faith.
8. Plug in the usb drive with "Autoruns for Windows" and run it.
9. Turn off everything in the autostart and everywhere else you can't recognize.
10. Restart the computer.
11. Remove the cover and connect to internet.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD True Christian Artist God's chosen ones Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Paula Deen Negro Support Group True Christian Hotrodder 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility 20,000 posts BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Clorox Cured Me Anti-Biden F1 for God

 
Posts: 22,419
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Apple CEO is gay - secure your network now! - 11-12-2014, 10:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
WHat it is and how do I safely remove it without getting infected?
Just burn the computer until nothing is left.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Apple CEO is gay - secure your network now! - 11-13-2014, 01:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lukasekman View Post
Here is the official recommendation by the U.S. Department of Family Values:
1. Download Autoruns for Windows on a healthy pc and store it on a usb drive.
2. Disconnect your computer from the internet. Unplug the cable or disable the wifi if available.
3. Cover your computer in tin foil or a metal mesh as much as possible.
4. Make a backup of all important files.
5. Go to control panel and chose "Uninstall a program".
6. Remove everything from "Apple Inc.", including but not limited to Bonjour (and anything else that's French), iTunes and iCloud. Remove everything else you don't recognize.
7. Restart your computer in failsafe mode - press F8 which is leetspeak for faith.
8. Plug in the usb drive with "Autoruns for Windows" and run it.
9. Turn off everything in the autostart and everywhere else you can't recognize.
10. Restart the computer.
11. Remove the cover and connect to internet.
I thank the Good Lord Mr. Etheldreda never allowed us to download anything from the Apple, but just for good measure, I always have my children pray in a circle surrounding the family computer before it is turned on. We rebuke Satan and remind him he has no legal ground in our computer equipment. He hasn't come through our Spiritual Bubble of Protection yet.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
apple, apple:cult of nerds, computer security, macs make you gay

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved