Shampoo Commercials

[Old Man Hatchet]

Gentlemen, I am sick of being assaulted by provocative shampoo commercials. They invariably feature naked women massaging and stroking their hair in the shower. Obviously the purpose of these commercials is to titillate and subvert True Christian™ men. Here is an example:

I am a chaste man. For all of my many years, I have maintained a virtuous, irreproachable, rapture-ready tallywacker. I'm not about to be undone by a shampoo advertisement. This one features a woman with bare shoulders who uses the word "tingles":

Most shampoo manufacturers are in league with Satan, and their sinister goal is to beguile decent menfolk into performing self-gratification. Giving women lustrous locks is incidental.

These newfangled "color lotions" are equally dangerous:

Stay strong, men. And by strong, I mean flaccid. Do not allow these commercials to taint your souls and possibly your trousers.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

Those commercials are at least 20 years old. If you're sitting around making wood over shampoo commercials from the 70's and 80's, you really need to get out more.

And if it helps you to maintain control, those women aren't really naked - they're wearing body stockings.

[Deaner]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

This one features a woman with bare shoulders who uses the word "tingles":

That was almost pure porn. Did you catch where they put the "anti-itch" formula in?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

That was almost pure porn. Did you catch where they put the "anti-itch" formula in?

It's a dandruff shampoo - of course it contains an ingredient to stop itching.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

And if it helps you to maintain control, those women aren't really naked - they're wearing body stockings.

Talk about stockings all you want. Let me assure you that you are NOT going to arouse me. Your rotten, gaping cooter will NEVER know my manhood. Get it through your skull.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

Talk about stockings all you want. Let me assure you that you are NOT going to arouse me. Your rotten, gaping cooter will NEVER know my manhood. Get it through your skull.

Get it through your senile, perverse skull that I wouldn't touch your so-called manhood if my life depended on it!

[SUV]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

All would do well to heed Brother Hatchet's warning.

Shampoo seeping into the ear canal and thus into the brain, making it all bouncy and fluffy, is your #1 leading cause of atheism.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

Get it through your senile, perverse skull that I wouldn't touch your so-called manhood if my life depended on it!

So you'd touch his manhood in every other situation. WHORE!!! It is good to know that if in a situation where your life was in danger - at least in those dire times - you would be able to force yourself to keep your greasy paws off of our beloved brother in Christ.

[Eugene Hackwith]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

I didn't watch those YouTube videos, as I just saw the single frames of each video and I had had enough. Advertising executives should be round up and caned for such filth! Just think of them, sitting around in their flashy suits, thinking up ways to subliminally corrupt those who have a little purity left...disgusting.

[KJV4me]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

The perversion gets worse! I just found this video called "Shampoo Fetish."
I hope this harlot has a "Satan's Tallywhacker Fetish," because she will need it once she is cast into Hell!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

So you'd touch his manhood in every other situation. WHORE!!! It is good to know that if in a situation where your life was in danger - at least in those dire times - you would be able to force yourself to keep your greasy paws off of our beloved brother in Christ.

That's not what I meant and you know it.

But since you seem to need everything spelled out for you, here goes.

Under NO circumstances whatsoever would I allow Old Man Batshit's penis, or any other part of his body anywhere within touching distance of me. Is that clear?

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

That's not what I meant and you know it.

But since you seem to need everything spelled out for you, here goes.

Under NO circumstances whatsoever would I allow Old Man Batshit's penis, or any other part of his body anywhere within touching distance of me. Is that clear?

Your juvenile name-calling isn't going to incite my wrath. By the way, you couldn't be more transparent. Your plan is obviously to infuriate me so that we have a colossal fight, after which you will apologize so that we engage in "make up sex." It's NOT going to happen, you incorrigible hussy.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

Your juvenile name-calling isn't going to incite my wrath. By the way, you couldn't be more transparent. Your plan is obviously to infuriate me so that we have a colossal fight, after which you will apologize so that we engage in "make up sex." It's NOT going to happen, you incorrigible hussy.

Any sex between us will be "made up sex" - made up in your fetid imagination.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

Any sex between us will be "made up sex" - made up in your fetid imagination.

You misused the word "fetid," which means "having an offensive odor." Although I suppose my imagination would be fetid after imagining that putrid gulch you call a cooter.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Shampoo Commercials

Any sex between us will be "made up sex" - made up in your fetid imagination.

Dances,

I know it is hard for you pagans but this is a church forum. Please do not attempt to have cyber sex with every male poster.