Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

[Witch Hammer]

If so, please post here, that I might sternly rebuke you in Christ's name. I'm a very busy man, and frankly, I don't have the time to hunt down and drive you subhuman filth from your dank, cess-ridden lairs. Step forth into the Light of The Lord...look Baby Jesus (or "BJ", as I affectionately refer to Him) in His pristine blue eyes and tell Him that you reject His ultimate sacrifice! Tell Him that you would rather wallow in feces than to shower in His blood and be PURGED OF ALL SIN!! YOU MAKE ME SICK!! VERILY, I FEEL THE BILE WELLING UP IN MY THROAT!! GET RIGHT WITH CHRIST, YOU PIGS!!

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

Might this be an appropriate time to request that one of our Pastors add an "eating popcorn" button to our list of smilies? I've been wanting one for some time now.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

I don't remember you from the old days, Justina Thyme, so please excuse my forthrightness in asking you this...but is that a baby nigra on your shoulder? It sure is cute! Where did you buy it??

[Talitha]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

I don't remember you from the old days, Justina Thyme, so please excuse my forthrightness in asking you this...but is that a baby nigra on your shoulder? It sure is cute! Where did you buy it??

I thought it was Michael Jackson

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

Might this be an appropriate time to request that one of our Pastors add an "eating popcorn" button to our list of smilies? I've been wanting one for some time now.

Might you have missed this one, Sister?

[ForGodsSake]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

Might you have missed this one, Sister?

All we need now is for the vial heathen, blood drinking, baby killing scum to get in here and we are right.

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

I don't remember you from the old days, Justina Thyme, so please excuse my forthrightness in asking you this...but is that a baby nigra on your shoulder? It sure is cute! Where did you buy it??

No, that's Tommy. Or Timmy. They're my two pet monkeys. Aren't they adorable? I think they're even cuter than baby nigras because they're all soft and furry!

It is just as hard to tell them apart, though.


Originally Posted by Talitha
I thought it was Michael Jackson

A natural mistake, Sister T, but these monkeys are way better looking than him. Plus their noses aren't falling off and they get regular veterinary attention, which is more than that boy-lovin-... what is he, anyway? Any exo-biologists around here?

[Seeker]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

No, that's Tommy. Or Timmy. They're my two pet monkeys. Aren't they adorable? I think they're even cuter than baby nigras because they're all soft and furry!

Yes very adorable. For real? What do you feed them?

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

Might you have missed this one, Sister?

Sister Noddy, but I did see that one and since I am not an fan of Mr. Springer's (he is the "Jerry!!" to whom the sign refers, yes?), I would much prefer a generic version.

Many thanks for looking, though.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

Where are all the unclean? Where are the multitudes of spunk-gargling filth? Is it possible that the forums have been cleansed of evil in my absence?? GLORY!!

[Talitha]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

Where are all the unclean? Where are the multitudes of spunk-gargling filth? Is it possible that the forums have been cleansed of evil in my absence?? GLORY!!

Sadly not Brother Hammer. We still get all kinds of filth polluting God's favorite Forum. Perhaps your presence here again has scared them off.

You'll have to excuse the others Posting replies in this Thread as two of them are mere empty headed females (although very suitable for breeding) and the other is a Heathen Australasian we recently brainwashed converted.

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

Yes very adorable. For real? What do you feed them?

Purina makes a Monkey Chow, so we give them that plus assorted fruits and veggies. I sometimes think they each ought to weigh about 150 pounds, the way they pack it away!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

Where are all the unclean? Where are the multitudes of spunk-gargling filth? Is it possible that the forums have been cleansed of evil in my absence?? GLORY!!

Does this link work for you?

[JennyD]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

Originally Posted by Talitha
I thought it was Michael Jackson

A natural mistake, Sister T, but these monkeys are way better looking than him. Plus their noses aren't falling off and they get regular veterinary attention, which is more than that boy-lovin-... what is he, anyway? Any exo-biologists around here?

I believe you'd want a crypto-biologist for that, Sister!


Welcome back, Brother Hammer! I believe the person you're looking for is a copypasta fan named "aenema".

[Seeker]

Re: Are you content to spend all eternity as satan's hand-puppet?

Purina makes a Monkey Chow, so we give them that plus assorted fruits and veggies. I sometimes think they each ought to weigh about 150 pounds, the way they pack it away!

Oh, too funny. Purina makes a veggie dinner for monkeys? That is good news. They are herbivores.