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  • #1

    LBC obscenity risk analysis

    LBC has developed an in-depth (and constantly evolving) obscenity risk analysis matrix, and one of the services we provide to our members is comparing that matrix to proposed artistic works, and evaluating their content — thus giving our members an honest evaluation of how much risk is involved. Whether to watch the work or not then becomes a personal risk tolerance decision. We don't always say “don’t watch this.” We don’t serve as a censor. On the other hand, I will occasionally say to a member “this presents a very high risk. Be ready to protect yourself.”

    Any members with questions about watching certain programmes are welcome to ask them here, or bring original material around to the Pastor's office.
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
    Tags: emma watson, miley cyrus, obscenity filter analysis, pornography addiction, post-pubescent female breasts, slutpocalypse
  • #2
    Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

    Maybe this deserves a thread of it's own, but I'd like to see some of the geniuses of math and statistics we have here to create a "slut-out countdown" for young female celebrities.

    It's a known fact that any young female celebrity, no matter how patriotic and Christian, will at some point collapse into a stripping, moaning, dripping harlot. The key to safe family entertainment is to be able to calculate ahead of time when this slutpocalypse will occur.

    How long before Miley Cyrus becomes a wanton whore? How many days until we see Hillary Duff on youtube, being bukkaked by a herd of horses? At what point will Emma Watson's nipple slip and upskirt photos be rendered obsolete by video of her being gangbanged and double-penetration fisted by viagra-overdosed black midgets with

    Okay, you get my point. We need our families to be safe. We need to know all this, in the name of safe family entertainment.
    Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 06-18-2008, 06:18 PM.
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    • #3
      Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

      That's an excellent suggestion, brother Trent, I will add the slut-out countdown to the analysis protocols.
      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

        Originally posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
        How long before Miley Cyrus becomes a wanton whore?
        How fortunate you are, being in Iraq, the land of innosence, instead of America, land of socialism, atheism, and sluttery:






        How long until we see Miley Cyus gangbanged by a drunk posse of crack-smoking 12-inch endowed midgets who take a special zinc pill to increase the size and stickiness of their semen? Well, that depends on how long it takes to organize a gangbang featuring a drunk posse of crack-smoking 12-inch endowed midgets who take a special zinc pill to increase the size and stickiness of their semen.
        Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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        • #5
          Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

          The pastors have done some great work on this Obscenity Risk program. You should see the piles of DVDs and videos they have poured threw to get the matrix going. Tip of the hat to all those involved.

          Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

          Hot Must ReadThreads!


          Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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          • #6
            Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

            Originally posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
            How long until we see Miley Cyus gangbanged by a drunk posse of crack-smoking 12-inch endowed midgets who take a special zinc pill to increase the size and stickiness of their semen? Well, that depends on how long it takes to organize a gangbang featuring a drunk posse of crack-smoking 12-inch endowed midgets who take a special zinc pill to increase the size and stickiness of their semen.
            So you're saying it will be on that disgusting "XTube" sometime next week?

            I will be sure to set the church computer's filters to block any "Miley Cyrus" searches immediately!!
            Bible boring? Nonsense!
            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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            • #7
              Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

              Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
              The pastors have done some great work on this Obscenity Risk program. You should see the piles of DVDs and videos they have poured threw to get the matrix going. Tip of the hat to all those involved.
              Wow, praise Jesus! Thanks to the pastors - I can only imagine the sheer agony of poring over hour after hour of filth to develop this technology. Thanks again to the Godly pastoral staff of LBC. Praise, Praise, Praise...
              Isaiah 36.12 - But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?

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              • #8
                Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

                The whole risk-analysis program is going great. How much smut have you seen online this month? Not much, right? Our people are hard at work.
                May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

                  I have produced a two part flow chart guide to vileness on the intertubes, I would be obliged if you would cast your eye over it and give comments.

                  After scoring the picture, move to the second chart:
                  Last edited by Ezekiel Bathfire; 03-26-2010, 05:24 PM.
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                  “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                  Author of such illuminating essays as,
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                  • #10
                    Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

                    Quite frankly I believe every and all media to be completely evil. If it's not obviously evil, it exists only to take away time which could be better spent reading the Bible. God only wrote one book. I see no reason for the existence of any other book, movie, television show, music, or blog.

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                    • #11
                      Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

                      But the once Godless internets now have a wonderful place for Christians to show their commitment to the Lord. He does work in mysterious ways! Praise!
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                      • #12
                        Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

                        I suppose that much is true good brother.

                        I mean, without the internet I would not be able to use myspace and discover all the sins my neighbors are committing. I've been able to increase by reproaching and shunning tenfold!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

                          Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
                          Quite frankly I believe every and all media to be completely evil. If it's not obviously evil, it exists only to take away time which could be better spent reading the Bible. God only wrote one book. I see no reason for the existence of any other book, movie, television show, music, or blog.
                          You seem quite judgemental for an wad of unsaved trash. I have yet to see you post one single verse from the Holy Bible to back up your point.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                          • #14
                            Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

                            Since being Saved™, I only allow myself to watch pre-Jazz Age silent films...and I do not read the title cards, just to be careful. (This makes following the plot occasionally difficult.)

                            The Mary Pickford films are generally safe. Lillian Gish is sometimes quite the little wild thing, though. However, she often dies at the end (as in La Boheme), so that's some consolation.

                            Has the system identified any particular silent titles as being especially dangerous? I bet there are many more like me out there, who have embraced The Olde Ways and want to remain unsullied for Christ.

                            Titus 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient...that the word of God be not blasphemed.

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                            • #15
                              Re: LBC obscenity risk analysis

                              Brother Godfly has proposed a Veggie Tales Filter (VTF) and I'm going to include it here in the LBC obscenity risk analysis matrix (LBC-o-RAM). This is a potentially useful add-on; I think parents are going to go for it.
                              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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