[Nattie]

Re: Hello

Maybe you could look into taking some True Christian™ cooking classes? I took some through my Church a few years ago and have learned quite a lot of new recipes. My Husband has approved of all of them but he always tells me that his favorite is the pie I make. You should always supply him with some form of dessert, however, the pie is normally the best option.

I am not certain if there are any True Christian™ cooking classes around me. What if my husband does not like pie? Are there any suitable substitutes?

[Nattie]

Re: Hello

Making up for your years of not giving birth to them I see. That's always good. But like But as Rev. M. Rodimer said above me

I have realized my mistake

[NoelleKohler]

Re: Hello

I am not certain if there are any True Christian™ cooking classes around me. What if my husband does not like pie? Are there any suitable substitutes?

Any True Christian™ man loves a good pie! A substitute that I sometimes use for my Husband is a cobbler. They are close to a pie but not completely and may qualify as suitable. However, you may want to ask your Husband first. You could always go to your Church and ask the other True Christian™ woman if they would be interested in helping you with your cooking!

[Nattie]

Re: Hello

Any True Christian™ man loves a good pie! A substitute that I sometimes use for my Husband is a cobbler. They are close to a pie but not completely and may qualify as suitable. However, you may want to ask your Husband first. You could always go to your Church and ask the other True Christian™ woman if they would be interested in helping you with your cooking!

Well, as stated at the beginning of my introduction thread, I don't belong to a particular Church at the moment. Neither my husband or I do. We were hoping to find a home here..

I am afraid that there are not a lot of True Christian™ women in my town I don't know who to go to for help or guidance.

[NoelleKohler]

Re: Hello

Well, as stated at the beginning of my introduction thread, I don't belong to a particular Church at the moment. Neither my husband or I do. We were hoping to find a home here..

I am afraid that there are not a lot of True Christian™ women in my town I don't know who to go to for help or guidance.

Maybe you should try to contact a Church around you in order to show God your loyalty until you can find a way to move to Freehold and take part in their Church. Or ask the other True Christian™ women on this most Godly forum if they have any ideas on how to help your cooking.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello

..As of this moment, I have decided to do so: I will follow all of God's laws. It is my duty as a Christian to do so, right?

Living a life without sin (that is, obeying all of God's Commands) is not so much a duty for Christians as it is how we show God that we ARE Christians.

[Old Jarhead]

Re: Hello

Young lady,
Christ has seen your whorish ways and how you continue to ignore his teachings. It doesn't matter how much you try, Christ can recognize the demonry in your heart. Christ chooses you, not you him. You can't fool the son of God with your whorish ways and enticements.

John 15:16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

I also couldn't help but notice you are a victim of the liberal conspiracy to intellectually cripple the youth of our nation with so-called "texting-lingo". Child, it's going to take more than just a declaration by you to get your soul right with the Lord. We need to get you into a hardcore counseling and re-education program. You need to be dominated by the Holy spirit deep into the core of your being.You must either fully submit and let Christ come inside you or suffer eternal damnation.

[Nattie]

Re: Hello

Maybe you should try to contact a Church around you in order to show God your loyalty until you can find a way to move to Freehold and take part in their Church. Or ask the other True Christian™ women on this most Godly forum if they have any ideas on how to help your cooking.

I think I will ask the lovely True Christian™ women here for guidance. I think that they would be more helpful than anyone back home. (I live in a rather liberal town )

[Nattie]

Re: Hello

Living a life without sin (that is, obeying all of God's Commands) is not so much a duty for Christians as it is how we show God that we ARE Christians.

Oh, goodness.. I'm never going to get this right

[Nattie]

Re: Hello

Young lady,
Christ has seen your whorish ways and how you continue to ignore his teachings. It doesn't matter how much you try, Christ can recognize the demonry in your heart. Christ chooses you, not you him. You can't fool the son of God with your whorish ways and enticements.

John 15:16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

I also couldn't help but notice you are a victim of the liberal conspiracy to intellectually cripple the youth of our nation with so-called "texting-lingo". Child, it's going to take more than just a declaration by you to get your soul right with the Lord. We need to get you into a hardcore counseling and re-education program. You need to be dominated by the Holy spirit deep into the core of your being.You must either fully submit and let Christ come inside you or suffer eternal damnation.

Could you please get me into the counseling and re-education? I want to feel the Holy Spirit fill me completely.

And what "texting-lingo" did I use? I try my best to not use it.. :/

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello

Let me be the first actual True Christian(tm) to welcome you to God's favorite forum. I'd like to admonish you to ignore any advice offered by those who are unsaved. Likely as not they've been sent here by satan to corrupt you.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Nattie]

Re: Hello

Let me be the first actual True Christian™ to welcome you to God's favorite forum. I'd like to admonish you to ignore any advice offered by those who are unsaved. Likely as not they've been sent here by satan to corrupt you.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

So the people talking to me were not True Christians™? Were they misleading me?

[Cursed]

Re: Hello

So the people talking to me were not True Christians™? Were they misleading me?

Yes! We are the slavering lapdogs of True Christians, and are a fickle lot.

Many hope to enter the church, so they emulate their betters and wait patiently (some more than others) for the day when the doors of Landover Baptist open to them. Occasionally one of them snaps, unable to handle the merciless needs of the LORD. This makes me happy for a short while.

Others are unrepentant blasphemous atheist monsters and doomed bastard mongrel sycophants like myself; the only explanation for allowing us to post here is True Christian Mercy.

To keep it simple, if you don't see "True Christian™" under the name, don't trust it.

[Nattie]

Re: Hello

Yes! We are the slavering lapdogs of True Christians, and are a fickle lot.

Many hope to enter the church, so they emulate their betters and wait patiently (some more than others) for the day when the doors of Landover Baptist open to them. Occasionally one of them snaps, unable to handle the merciless needs of the LORD. This makes me happy for a short while.

Others are unrepentant blasphemous atheist monsters and doomed bastard mongrel sycophants like myself; the only explanation for allowing us to post here is True Christian Mercy.

To keep it simple, if you don't see "True Christian™" under the name, don't trust it.

Oh, ok. Thank you so much. To think I almost trusted some of these people..

[Cursed]

Re: Hello

Tell me about it! You don't want to end up in Hell burning forever next to me.

I know all of the True Christians are rooting for you and want to save your immortal soul, but I hope you forgive me for wishing you nothing but misery and failure. I can't help it, I'm a hateful creature.

Matthew 7:13-14 Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

If you value your immortal soul, you'll do as your Pastor tells you. But it will be difficult; he will ask many things of you that you won't want to do. If you are weak, and your spirit unwilling, you will fall off of the narrow path and right into the ditch.

That's me, at the bottom of the ditch, hidden in a pile of filthy garbage. Waiting, with the patience of a spider.