X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 5
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 template Next
  • #1

    Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

    Pray that the sin-sick nation of Denmark falls into the sea!

    In Copenhagen the headlines read: "Prostitutes offer free climate summit sex!"

    That's right, my brethren in Christ, the fallen women of that city will give sexural favors to the Satan-deluded attendees of a summit meeting about so-called global warming. They'll be warmer, all right, as they ROAST in Satan's FIREPLACE!

    Why, I have half a mind to hop a jet to Copenhagen (CopenHELLen!) and investigate this on the ground. Shameful!

    Pray for the ascension of Jesus over the fallen kingdoms of Europe.

    ~~ OEJ
    Tags: denmark, global warming myth, harlots, missionary position, scandanavia, slutpocalypse
  • #2
    Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

    I believe there is a word for girls who advertise their willingness to commit fornications with any and all takers...

    WHORE!

    I suppose the boy whores are matching the offer of their girl counterparts as well?

    I'd better investigate this one too. Why don't I pick you up in the Landover Lear Jet brother Jack, and we'll both go sniff around over there in slutville, Denmark. Maybe Rev. Jim would like to join us. I wonder if he can clear his calender.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

      Shocking! My daily quota of indignation is overflowing!

      I have left a message with Pastor Prune Danish’s (our “Apostle of The North”) wife, as she informs me that he left for the Conference area as soon as the news was announced on Danish TV.

      I think we can look forward to seeing some action from Pastor Prune.
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

        That's only about 8 hours away. I better go join him. What should I write on my sign?
        Favorite anti-whore verse anyone?
        Matthew:
        5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
        5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
        10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
        10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


        sigpic

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

          Am:2:7:b and a man and his father will go in unto the same maid, to profane my holy name:
          sigpic


          “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

          Author of such illuminating essays as,
          Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

            Eze:23:43: Then said I unto her that was old in adulteries, Will they now commit whoredoms with her, and she with them?
            Eze:23:44: Yet they went in unto her, as they go in unto a woman that playeth the harlot: so went they in unto Aholah and unto Aholibah, the lewd women.
            sigpic


            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

            Author of such illuminating essays as,
            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

              I can be there in a few hours with Virgin Airlines. I'll bring my bullhorn and my "God hates Denmark" signs. Any objections from the Pastors?

              God controls the climate, end of.
              Psalm 81:10:
              I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
              open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

                Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                Shocking! My daily quota of indignation is overflowing!

                I have left a message with Pastor Prune Danish’s (our “Apostle of The North”) wife, as she informs me that he left for the Conference area as soon as the news was announced on Danish TV.

                I think we can look forward to seeing some action from Pastor Prune.
                I think we should all go, brother. There are simply too many whores and liberal tree huggers for a mere handful of Chritian Warriors. I am having some COP15 ID's made up because we need to lure them in somehow. Then we can preach the word and Save some souls.
                Master of Godly Debating

                Latest Conquest:Sacred Heart

                Debate Record
                Currently Undefeated
                Lastest Debates:
                Catholic - Not Christian: Former Altar Boy/Molestation Victim with "Stockholm Syndrome" admits catholicism is false
                James Peter: Idiotic Catholic Retard Thwarted
                Vayhr of the Warhost: Unrepentant wigger struck down.
                Teflon: See the post that nailed him.
                86 Victories
                0 Defeats

                Past Victories (Archive):
                Uppity Atheist Pagan Witch finally keels over and DIES. America Wins Again!!!
                Uppity feeble minded witch needs to be taught how to debate
                Racist Nazi Feminazi Bulldyke CRUSHED in debate

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

                  I wish I could make it but I think I'll be busy tomorrow. I'll pray for you pastors that your message is received and that you are given the proper respect that you deserve.
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

                    Well, I guess I know where to go to find Pastor Kenneth now. He was always Right up-front to lead the Christian Soldiers on.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex
                      Copenhagen Council and Lord Mayor Ritt Bjerregaard have sent postcards out to 160 Copenhagen hotels urging COP15 guests and delegates to ‘Be sustainable – don’t buy sex’.
                      Copenhagan's government agrees with us: climate change is caused by sin, not by carbon.
                      Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
                      Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
                      Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

                        Originally posted by Remy Lebeau View Post
                        I think we should all go, brother. There are simply too many whores and liberal tree huggers for a mere handful of Chritian Warriors. I am having some COP15 ID's made up because we need to lure them in somehow. Then we can preach the word and Save some souls.
                        Excellent! I knew we could rely on you.

                        A message from Pastor Prune's wife, confirms that he's saving fallen women from sin, for $10 he'll save you a blonde one. So there'll be plenty of subjects for Salvation(tm) to go round.
                        sigpic


                        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                        Author of such illuminating essays as,
                        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

                          Originally posted by Remy Lebeau View Post
                          I think we should all go, brother. There are simply too many whores and liberal tree huggers for a mere handful of Chritian Warriors. I am having some COP15 ID's made up because we need to lure them in somehow. Then we can preach the word and Save some souls.
                          Brother Remy, if there's anything these whores need, it is your input.

                          You know how these Europeans get, with all their preconceived ideas, and having a stern seeing to from an ex-Negro like yourself will quickly silence those harlots (or make them cry out "JESUS!")!

                          Maybe Pastor Zeke can pick you up, so you can discuss your strategy on the plane.

                          And WHERE IS PORTWAY WHEN WE NEED HIM?
                          Psalm 81:10:
                          I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                          open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

                            Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                            So there'll be plenty of subjects for Salvation™ to go round.
                            Do we know the Danish word for "Tithe"? Is it Bryst? It may come in handy.
                            Psalm 81:10:
                            I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                            open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Cream-filled Danish: Prostitutes offer free sex

                              6:29DatumOdkud/Přestup/KamPříj.Odj.Pozn. Spoje 8.12.Praha hl.n. 6:29 178 Johannes Brahms Berlin Hbf (tief) 11:1911:25 ICE 796 Hamburg Hbf 13:0113:28 ICE 35 Koebenhavn H 18:11 Celkový čas 11 hod 42 min, vzdálenost 1064 km
                              • České dráhy, a.s.; nábřeží L.Svobody 1222/12, 110 15 Praha 1; +420 840 112 113 (Praha hl.n.->Schöna Gr.)
                                Deutsche Bahn AG; Potsdamer Platz 2, 10785 Berlin (Schöna Gr.->Berlin Südkreuz) (EC 178)

                              Looks like I'll get there in the evening, if I leave tomorrow morning.
                              Matthew:
                              5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                              5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                              10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                              10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


                              sigpic

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 3 4 5 template Next
                              Working...
                              X