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Creation Science The origins of life and the earth from a creationist (Biblical) perspective.

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Old 05-21-2008, 02:15 PM
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Default Dolphins and Evolution!

I have let slip earlier that we have secured a few dolphins pups which we intend to ship to the Mojave Desert to see if they die. The point being that if evolution worked, and these are creatures that once lived on land, they should retain the wherewithal to exist quite happily in these conditions. As True Scientists, we chose the young ones so that they had not really had a chance to get really used to water – so the results should be accurate, and one in the eye for evilutionists!

So to the trip and the surprise (and Godly) diversions!

PART 1
Our cargo was 10 dolphin calves. The mothers were left behind in the Landover Aquarium and Sea Life World to act as the controls in the experiment.

The calves are a lot heavier than you would think and they are slippery little devils, wriggling all the time. After 2 or 3 were dropped on the way to the choppers, we eventually found that the best way to get them to the crafts was to drag them by the tail. Once aboard, 2 per aircraft, they were bound up with baling twine and secured to various parts of the choppers.

We took off at dawn in 5 of the UH-60 Blackhawks of The Landover Security Force (Photo) and headed southwest. Ahead of me was Nephew Zebulun in the lead craft, co-piloted by his personal assistant Miss Honey Chevrolet.

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With the long-range fuel tanks, we didn’t have to put down for over 3 hours and by that time we were over Lane County, Kansas. The calves were looking a bit peaky, so we put down and bought a couple of stone of Purina fish-flavor cat chow and fed them. The result was an unholy mess over the deep-pile carpets. [Hint – if you intend transporting dolphins by air, cat-chow probably isn’t the best idea.]

Once refueled, we set off SW again. I was surprised to see that we crossed into New Mexico and headed south to Santa Fe, an area heavily infested by Catliks. All weapons were taken off safety and I was regretting the decision not to keep in Colorado. Worse was to come.

Over the Radio Zebulun’s disembodied voice announce “Operation Apocalypse commences!” Immediately, we dropped to 100 foot. I called to the pilot to see what was happening, he replied, “We’re heading for The Church of St Mary of The Bleeding Heart.”

(If anyone had told me when I was 5 years old, that I would be flying in a helicopter with two baby dolphins to a Catlik church, I’d have said they were possessed by demons.)

Our ‘hawk did a rece of the church (Photo) and then rejoined the main group. Zebulun then gave the order “Music!” and, perfectly timed as the congregation were out in front of the church, all 5 choppers came in over the rooftops with loudspeakers blaring out “My Country,‘Tis of Thee.” Ha! You should have seen the minions of the antichrist scatter and run, their false faith destroyed! Glory! (Just try and stop yourself screaming “YeeeHaaaw!)

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But the day was not over, and we flew west to St Xavier’s School of The Holy Sepulchre, where we witnessed the chopper from Colorado’s Trinity Baptist Church bombing the pupils with Chick Tracts (Photo). Praise!

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An unfortunate consequence of the event was that one of the dolphins fell out of Blackhawk number 2. If anyone finds the body, it will be quite edible for the next few days, and very nice with Tuna. (Have you noticed how hard it is to get Tuna with Dolphin nowadays? It’s much better than the plain stuff.)
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Last edited by Ezekiel Bathfire; 12-28-2009 at 01:42 PM.
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Old 05-21-2008, 02:17 PM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Part 2
The Mojave is hot and dry and we laid out the dolphins on the sand in temperatures of over 50 degrees. We sprayed a little water around to give them a start. Each one’s blink rate was carefully monitored (Photo) and those that looked as if they were not going to blink were given a sharp jolt with a cattle prod.

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Soon their skin was cracking, their eyes were clouding over and the annoying clicks that they had been putting out stopped. It looked as if evolution was not working.

I asked Zebulun and Miss Honey to collect a few dead ones for autopsy Miss Honey didn’t seem to grasp the idea of “dead” and brought a live one but I carried on because I thought it impolite to point this out. I found nothing that would indicate that evolution was taking place. (Photo)

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Anyway, the day was getting on and the light was going, so Zebulun, Miss Honey and the crews decided to take the Blackhawks to Las Vegas to preach the Word. I was left alone with the 5 remaining live creatures and time to write up the observations.

I retired to the tent about 10:30pm and was just into chapter 3 of The Book of Judges and nibbling on a few locusts, when I was startled by a crack of thunder. The Heavens opened and the deluge began – I have not seen anything like it. I had been assured that this was a desert and expected no dampness, leastwise on this scale. I gathered my papers and raced to the truck. I could only pile on one dolphin onto the trailer and escape to higher ground. The dolphin later turned out to be dead anyway. (Photo). All I could do was watch as the 4 remaining dolphins, illuminated by sheet lightening, were swept away along the arroyo in flood similar to that seen by Noah!

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I must say that I was disappointed with Zebulun, whose job it was to choose the site and get the weather forecast. I promised myself that I would have words when he came back.

The remaining part of the night in the truck was uncomfortable and a fishy smell from the dolphin led me to dreams of sea monsters. At about 5am, it was light and I drove around to find roads flooded and a member of the Fire Department stranded also. (Photo). He turned out to be Catlik and thus I left him to his own resources.

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Zebulun, Miss Honey and the crews returned about 11am. It appears that their night had gone very well indeed with a collection in excess of $200,000! I was a bit puzzled because it was all in little circular colored plastic pieces that Zebulun called “chips” and said were very valuable. I had my doubts but took his word and, in view of the funds, forgave him.

We had a quick search around to see if any of the dolphins could be found and eventually came across them in poor shape and drowned in a lake.

To cut a long story short, here are the conclusions:
  • Evilution does not work – sea creatures cannot adapt to dry land conditions (proof of The Creation in Genesis)
  • God sends deluges to punish and warn those who interfere with His Order (proof of The Flood in Genesis)
  • Sea creatures left on dry land forget how to re-adapt to water and drown. (New discovery!)
  • Las Vegas is a good place to organize collections (Financially useful)
  • Catlix can be terrified into deserting their beliefs. (Praise! More souls to be saved!)
  • Baptist Churches all over the USA are helping in the fight!

So there you are – although because of point 2 above, I’m not doing it again - it was another eventful excursion into the world of Biblical Science! Faith is all anyone ever needs!
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We are the pure and chosen few,
And all the rest are damned.
There’s room enough in hell for you—
We don’t want heaven crammed.

Last edited by Ezekiel Bathfire; 12-28-2009 at 01:49 PM.
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Old 05-21-2008, 03:13 PM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Brother Bathfire, if I had not seen the photos myself I might not have believed your story. I'm curious, though, about the remaining dolphins; can they be taught to speak?
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Old 05-21-2008, 04:39 PM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

I would challenge any Darwinist out there to say we TRUE Christians™ do not know the scientific method. Brother Ezekiel made a prediction based on the THEORY of evolution, performed an experiment and observed and recorded the results.

What else do you want Darwinists?
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Old 05-21-2008, 05:57 PM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

I hope someone is sending a copy of this excellent report to VenomFangX. I'm sure he'd find it useful in his ministry.
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Old 05-21-2008, 06:07 PM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

I am interested to know if you have had any sex with these dolphins. I have heard that they are highly attracted to hairy lechrous old farts.

How would you feel if they insist on being on top? Would you be okay being the bottom?


I think the gods made dolphins because man was too much like an ape.

"For many cultures across the world, whales and dolphins are associated with divine powers and are seen as superior beings. In ancient Greece, to kill a dolphin was equal to killing a human and was a crime punishable by death. For dolphins were seen messengers for the Gods, and were closely associated with Poseidon's daughters, the Nereids, the goddess of love Aphrodite, the heroine Galatea and the music-loving sun god, Apollo. It was said that the constellation Delphinus, the dolphin, was put in the sky by Poseidon in gratitude to the dolphins for finding his bride Amphitrite."

I know where those stars are, I can help you find them if you like.
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Old 05-21-2008, 07:13 PM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Star Finder View Post
I am interested to know if you have had any sex with these dolphins. I have heard that they are highly attracted to hairy lechrous old farts.
A most surprising interest and I’m not at all sure what suggested this to you! If I were I you, I would keep away from any such purveyors of filth and general disgustingness who tell you these things.

Quote:
How would you feel if they insist on being on top? Would you be okay being the bottom?
… I’m quite at a loss…

Quote:
I think the gods made dolphins because man was too much like an ape.
You may be hairy, look like a nigra and be able to peel bananas with your feet, we here at Landover are quite different.

Quote:
"For many cultures across the world, whales and dolphins are associated with divine powers and are seen as superior beings.
You are speaking of heathens – their thoughts and beliefs are an abomination unto the Lord, Who will smite them, and of no consequence as they are mere superstition.


Quote:
In ancient Greece, to kill a dolphin was equal to killing a human and was a crime punishable by death.
I had heard this but thought that it was a myth. How can there be punishment for killing anything that does not have a soul? It is only unfortunate that homosexuality was not viewed as a capital crime, but that would have put paid to half of Greece. Thus we see that we would have been in blessed ignorance of the corrupt and amoral views of heathens and their lifestyle choices.


Quote:
For dolphins were seen messengers for the Gods,
You may wish to trust the letter containing your wages to a dolphin, I would not – they appear to be quite dense.


Quote:
and were closely associated with Poseidon's daughters, the Nereids, the goddess of love Aphrodite, the heroine Galatea and the music-loving sun god, Apollo.
The former were imaginary, the later is an imaginary homer. In the case of the Nereids you will see from the link that although there were supposed to be 50 of them, there are about 80 names for them. A religion based on a fairy tale and filled with discrepancies in its book is not worth the paper upon which it is written.


Quote:
It was said that the constellation Delphinus, the dolphin, was put in the sky by Poseidon in gratitude to the dolphins for finding his bride Amphitrite."
Who are these people who keep saying these things? How unlikely is it that a mythical god would put people up in the sky?

Quote:
I know where those stars are, I can help you find them if you like.
StarFinder… we all know where the stars are – they are in the firmament! And why would anyone in their right mind want to find any of them – they are there; God put them there and that’s good enough for me. If He has a plan involving them, then it’s His plan and it will be revealed in the fullness of time or not at all.


Nevertheless, many thanks for your interest and I hope your journey towards Salvation™ has been made a little easier.
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We are the pure and chosen few,
And all the rest are damned.
There’s room enough in hell for you—
We don’t want heaven crammed.

Last edited by Ezekiel Bathfire; 12-28-2009 at 01:46 PM.
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Old 05-21-2008, 07:24 PM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Just disgusting. Leave it to the pagans to corrupt any decent discussion with their disgusting sexuality. I spew on thee!! Begone, witch!!

Are there any moderators reading this filth? If ANYONE else in this thread should continue to discuss dolphin/human sexuality, I suggest that they be banished.
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Old 05-21-2008, 07:36 PM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Just disgusting. Leave it to the pagans to corrupt any decent discussion with their disgusting sexuality. I spew on thee!! Begone, witch!!

Are there any moderators reading this filth? If ANYONE else in this thread should continue to discuss dolphin/human sexuality, I suggest that they be banished.
Well said Brother Nobar, I found StarFinder a most curious person, filled with superstition and heathen beliefs!

You asked earlier if it were possible to teach Dolphins to talk. I mentioned this to Zebulun and he was a bit dismissive - he said that if you did, they would only talk about seaweed, sex and fish and thus the chances of a conversation would be limited.

However, I too was a little more circumspect. I will subject the mothers to various stimuli to see if it elicits a similar response in each of them. This will be the first step. I could then show them various verses of The Bible to see how they react to each one (Good News for God / Bad News for His enemies, etc.)

In fact, the more I think about it, the better the idea becomes!
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Old 05-21-2008, 07:54 PM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

It's a worthy experiment, Brother Bathfire. From what I have heard, dolphins are supposed to have superior intellect (I suppose compared to lesser animals). Maybe there is another experiment that you could conduct?
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Old 05-21-2008, 08:17 PM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
It's a worthy experiment, Brother Bathfire. From what I have heard, dolphins are supposed to have superior intellect (I suppose compared to lesser animals). Maybe there is another experiment that you could conduct?
Hmmm.. we do seem to have quite a few dolphins. I rather liked this experiment – perhaps Landover could repeat it on Dolphins? Who knows what will emerge? I rather like Blue Skies Research.
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:26 AM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

You didn't disprove evolution, because evolution takes thousands and millions of year for a significant adaption to a new environment to take place. I suggest you read Richard Dawkins' Mount Improbable before conducting any more such experiments.

I would also like to point out that what you're doing is animal cruelty and I repels me further from your religion if that's the stuff your "kind" does.
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:29 AM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

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Originally Posted by LyingDingDong View Post
You didn't disprove evolution, because evolution takes thousands and millions of year for a significant adaption to a new environment to take place. I suggest you read Richard Dawkins' Mount Improbable before conducting any more such experiments.

I would also like to point out that what you're doing is animal cruelty and I repels me further from your religion if that's the stuff your "kind" does.
That Dawkins character is a known communist and a sodomite as well. Why should anyone believe him?

We accept the Word of God. You know, the one who CREATED Dawkins.

You fail once again.
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Old 05-22-2008, 04:44 AM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyingDingDong View Post
You didn't disprove evolution, because evolution takes thousands and millions of year for a significant adaption to a new environment to take place. I suggest you read Richard Dawkins' Mount Improbable before conducting any more such experiments.

I would also like to point out that what you're doing is animal cruelty and I repels me further from your religion if that's the stuff your "kind" does.
You have been repeatedly shown to be wrong and you would think that you would go back and study a little more before making your posts.

"Scientists" are constantly being amazed at how their old notions of "evolution" are being undermined by new evidence. Oh sure, they are still offering the same old excuses and still rejecting God – but they will one day come around to seeing the Truth.

There are countless examples, but here are a couple to get you started (you can do your own research):

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/20...lution.science

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...toryId=5657338
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Old 05-22-2008, 10:59 AM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyingDingDong View Post
You didn't disprove evolution, because evolution takes thousands and millions of year for a significant adaption to a new environment to take place. I suggest you read Richard Dawkins' Mount Improbable before conducting any more such experiments.

I would also like to point out that what you're doing is animal cruelty and I repels me further from your religion if that's the stuff your "kind" does.
I assume you have read the replies by Pastor Ezekiel and WilliamJenningsBryan and are now feeling sufficiently contrite.

As it happens, I have read about Mount Improbable under the supervision of a Pastor. It appeared to me to be more than unlikely that evolution would drag things up the slope of a mountain only to leave them there, when clearly God can do the job in one clean lift.

It is rather like my asking you to take a cargo of cattle manure from Iowa to Florida and your deciding to go via Alaska.

As far as cruelty is concerned, you have to agree that in the light of the knowledge that this experiment has given us, the cost, in suffering, has been exceptionally light.

Which secularist could have thought that dolphins could forget how to swim?

That little nugget of knowledge could lead to a cure for Alzheimer’s (the secular name) which is a condition where the brain becomes completely full and memories fall out of it as new ones try and force their way in.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:47 PM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

You know, I don't understand what all the fuss is about anyway. They're just a bunch of fish. Sister Thumper has grilled a few of those up for me and they're dee-lish.

They're just dumb animals after all.
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Old 05-24-2008, 01:29 AM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
I assume you have read the replies by Pastor Ezekiel and WilliamJenningsBryan and are now feeling sufficiently contrite.

As it happens, I have read about Mount Improbable under the supervision of a Pastor. It appeared to me to be more than unlikely that evolution would drag things up the slope of a mountain only to leave them there, when clearly God can do the job in one clean lift.

It is rather like my asking you to take a cargo of cattle manure from Iowa to Florida and your deciding to go via Alaska.

As far as cruelty is concerned, you have to agree that in the light of the knowledge that this experiment has given us, the cost, in suffering, has been exceptionally light.

Which secularist could have thought that dolphins could forget how to swim?

That little nugget of knowledge could lead to a cure for Alzheimer’s (the secular name) which is a condition where the brain becomes completely full and memories fall out of it as new ones try and force their way in.
Mount Improbable is written to give the reader insight that design exists without a designer. Natural selection. Even if Genesis is correct you can not deny that natural selection exists and results in complexity and design over a given length of time. In order to read Mount Improbable you have think that order came about without God. Think for yourself and not just what this online soceity tells you how to think.

This is a cruel experiment because you deliberately did not do any reasearch on how evolution works before attempting the experiment. You ask, "Which secularist could have thought that dolphins could forget how to swim?" The dolphins didn't "forget" to swim, they most likely were so dramatized from the horrific events that they lost all motor abilities.

You're implying that evolution works as though it can be recovered from memory. It is not that particular dolphin that walked on land but its great ancestor, which was adapted and fitted to life on land, where as the dolphin as adapted and fitted to live in the water. You're just sick and have no sympathy for other organsims. If there was anything that repels me from Christianity and accepting Jesus Christ as my savior, it would be you Ezekiel Bathfire.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
You have been repeatedly shown to be wrong and you would think that you would go back and study a little more before making your posts.

"Scientists" are constantly being amazed at how their old notions of "evolution" are being undermined by new evidence. Oh sure, they are still offering the same old excuses and still rejecting God – but they will one day come around to seeing the Truth.

There are countless examples, but here are a couple to get you started (you can do your own research):

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2004/dec/29/evolution.science

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...toryId=5657338
I will admit that some scientists are sceptical on the theory of evolution because of irreducible complexity and could give the idea of an intelligent designer a thought. However, the scientists that believe in evolution enormously outweigh the number of scientists that don't.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
That Dawkins character is a known communist and a sodomite as well. Why should anyone believe him?

We accept the Word of God. You know, the one who CREATED Dawkins.

You fail once again.
You have no proof that Dawkins is a communist or a sodomite. It's not listed in the Bible thus it can not be accurate. Give me one link that supports the idea that Dawkins is either a communist or a sodomite and I'll give you a cookie.
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Old 05-24-2008, 01:34 AM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LyingDingDong View Post


You have no proof that Dawkins is a communist or a sodomite. It's not listed in the Bible thus it can not be accurate. Give me one link that supports the idea that Dawkins is either a communist or a sodomite and I'll give you a cookie.
Right. Like I'm gonna fall for that again. You still owe us 10 big from the deal you made with sister Jenny.

Nobody likes a welcher. Especially Jesus.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 05-24-2008, 03:37 AM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

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You have no proof that Dawkins is a communist or a sodomite. It's not listed in the Bible thus it can not be accurate. Give me one link that supports the idea that Dawkins is either a communist or a sodomite and I'll give you a cookie.
How about paying up on what you owe from your LAST bet before making new ones?
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Old 05-24-2008, 04:06 AM
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Default Re: Dolphins and Evolution!

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Originally Posted by LyingDingDong View Post
You have no proof that Dawkins is a communist or a sodomite. It's not listed in the Bible thus it can not be accurate. Give me one link that supports the idea that Dawkins is either a communist or a sodomite and I'll give you a cookie.
WHAT???

LISTEN HERE SUNSHINE; DAWKINS IS AN ATHEIST!!!

Atheists = communist sodomite

End of Discussion.
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