States I Hate

[Old Man Hatchet]

Michigan



I get nervous when I see two or more colored people congregating, and Detroit is home to nearly a million of them. I don't want my Negroes in bulk; I want them in convenient, single serving packages. Michigan also has cities named "Gaylord" and "Hell"--proof that Michiganders despise God and worship Satan.

Hatchet Fun Fact: "Michigan" is Injun for "talk to the hand."


California



Friends, I could write a book on what is wrong with California. It has Hellywood, Sin Fransisco, and Crapa Valley, which turns countless men gay every year with Shiraz and Pinot Grigio. It has surfers, vegetarians, and other "New Age" weirdos. Additionally, it has more Mexicans than Mexico has Mexicans. Mexicans are lazy, swarthy, and foul-smelling. They wear ridiculously-sized hats and infuriate Jesus by naming their kids after Him. Lastly, the state is a bastion of liberalism. Californians are always whining about ridiculous things like pollution and human rights. No wonder God periodically shakes California like a British nanny shakes a baby--He wants the state to collectively stop crying.

Hatchet Fun Idea: All of the homosexuals in Sin Fransisco should be locked up, and Alcatraz isn't being used. Why not ferry over all of the fairies? Gays love the sodomy and group showering that prison has to offer. It's win-win.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: States I Hate

Maryland



Romanists wanted their own colony so that they could make everybody worship plaster statues of Pope Alexander VI. Nowadays, they have an obvious lezbanian as one of their U.S. Senators, and most of the state is pretty much an extension of Washington, D.C. As for the largest city, let's just say that John Waters makes documentaries.

Fun fact: Columbia, one of America's most famous planned cities, was designed to counteract suburban sprawl. To do that, they bought a lot of land out in the middle of nowhere and built a lot of cul-de-sac subdivisions.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: States I Hate

Oregon

Aka "California's Canada" and "Washington's Mexico," Oregon is an openly socialistic state inhabited by repulsive old hippies, PETA terrorists and innumerable queers. Once prosperous from timber receipts and home to the largest toilet paper manufacturer in the world, Oregon is now perpetually bankrupt thanks to the violent tree huggers infesting the state who were successful in shutting down the tree harvesting industry. There are no known True Christians™ in the state at this time. The only cash crop the state currently has is illegal narcotic drugs.

Fun Facts:It rains in Oregon on at least 300 of the 365 days that God gave us in a year. Marijuana is handed out to children in all elementary schools. Also the satanic design called "tie-die" was originated there. Hippies mix goat blood and the LSD in huge vats and dip their clothing in it.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: States I Hate

New York



Where does one even begin? Dzhoo lawyers; dzhoo bankers; Broadway; Broadcast Row (the East Coast's answer to Hellyweird); modern "art"; the Stonewall riot; parks named after social democrats; the national headquarters of the lie-beral MSM; and Hitlery Klingon. A certain city in downstate N.Y. even has the gall to call itself America's most important city, when plainly Freehold is.

Fun fact: Back when people had values and respected families, homers were expelled from the continental United States and herded onto a small island with only limited road and rail connections to the mainland. That island is called Manhattan.

[VictoryOS]

Re: States I Hate

I would like to nominate the state of FLORIDA.



It looks like a great tallywacker hanging from the crotch of the nation. Florida also has those little islands that look like they're dripping from the tip end of the state. How disgustingly sinful!

Florida is overrun with weirdos, queers, snakes and lizards, not to mention wetbacks, wops and joos. Thank the LORD ALMIGHTY we have the Godly Jeb Bush down there to keep these people from rising up and turning the rest of the US into a cesspool of despair. Shame on you, Florida! Never forget what they did to Carrie Schiavo!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: States I Hate

Florida is overrun with weirdos, queers, snakes and lizards, not to mention wetbacks, wops and joos. Thank the LORD ALMIGHTY we have the Godly Jeb Bush down there to keep these people from rising up and turning the rest of the US into a cesspool of despair. Shame on you, Florida! Never forget what they did to Carrie Schiavo!

Or what they tried to do to Godly George W. Bush before the Almighty moved the U.S. Supreme Court to do the right thing.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: States I Hate

Hawaii





It's full of Nips and homosexual surfers.

Fun Fact: The islands are a bunch of volcanoes, helping God wipe them all out when He sees fit.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: States I Hate

OK..What do you say is wrong with my home state of Wisconsin?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: States I Hate

OK..What do you say is wrong with my home state of Wisconsin?

For starters, it's your home state.

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Re: States I Hate

Delaware




Don't ask me why, I just do.

Fun facts: There has never been, and most probably never will be anything fun about Delaware. Ever, praise the LORD.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: States I Hate

I would like to nominate the state of FLORIDA.

It looks like a great tallywacker hanging from the crotch of the nation.

Bless your heart. You haven't had a man in so long that you're seeing tallywackers wherever you look. Hang in there. A man is bound to come along who isn't turned off by your elbow cleavage.

[SUV]

Re: States I Hate



Ha! Pastor Pistle once posted this picture claiming it was him & I at some hippy-dippy fest.

So it wasn't, was it?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: States I Hate

Georgia



Home state of Jimmy Carter, now overrun by russkies.

Fun fact: Georgia has its own alphabet.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: States I Hate

These are states I hate, people. Let's keep your opinions to a minimum.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: States I Hate

Kentucky.
Home of Muhammed Ali, Hunter S Thompson, and others.
Also towns with horrible sodomic names reflecting the sin that thrives in the Blue"Grass" state. Also a reminder of the hippies that interbreed unhindered in the hills.

Mud Lick
Beaver Lick
Bee Lick
Big Bone Lick
Big Beaver Lick
Black Bottom
Gays Creek

Petroleum, KY m (jelly)

Bagdad (terrorists!)