X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 4
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
  • #1

    Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a curse

    If I may direct you to the main forums for a minute:
    Tampons: Satan's Little Cotton Fingers
    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0999/cotton.html
    Landover Baptist battles the Tampax Corporation, vow to remove satan's fingers from the shelves!


    While this is a sticky subject, and not nice to talk about, we need to take authority over the situation.
    This is a curse time, not an excuse for M'ing!
    I would advise not only searching the rooms of any female offspring, but actual inspection during the monthly curse.
    As the females who are unclean should be elsewhere during the week of filth, perhaps a Lady of Landover should preform the inspections at the place where they stay. Maybe Sister Victoria would be so kind.

    What to do if you find the offending item? Throw it away? NO! This is the perfect chance to teach a life lesson. Buy some "Lucifer's Tears" brand
    habanero hot sauce. Apply it to the tampon. Then when you notice your daughter dancing around in discomfort, sit her down. Explain the flames of Hell will be much worse then what she is feeling down there now. Explain about that woman Eve and the curse she brought on all females forever.

    Can there be any doubt of the M'ing involved with Satan's cotton Fingers?
    Look here:
    http://www.obtampons.com/en/designed-different.jsp



    As men and fathers, it's our duty to insure that the curse is a curse and not an excuse for pleasure. We must keep our women out of Hell!
    Matthew:
    5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
    5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
    10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
    10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


    sigpic
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

    What am I supposed to do?
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

      I thought that Sister Jenny had a special shelter for this affliction

      YIC


       Leviticus 26:27-29

      27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
      28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
      29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

        First of all, Jesus, please forgive me for posting in the men's forum.

        If you men don't mind spending 50 cents on your woman, you can buy her this delightful sanitary belt. Once she has a sanitary belt, she can attach an ordinary kitchen dishrag or even a baby diaper and just drape that thing across her Devil's Valley. Just make sure she washes her un-clean items with extra bleach and never gets them mixed up with the good kitchen towels or the baby's good diapers - icky!
        Attached Files
        Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

          Originally posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
          First of all, Jesus, please forgive me for posting in the men's forum.

          If you men don't mind spending 50 cents on your woman, you can buy her this delightful sanitary belt. Once she has a sanitary belt, she can attach an ordinary kitchen dishrag or even a baby diaper and just drape that thing across her Devil's Valley. Just make sure she washes her un-clean items with extra bleach and never gets them mixed up with the good kitchen towels or the baby's good diapers - icky!
          This isn't Victoria's Secret here! I should infract you for posting that!
          Matthew:
          5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
          5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
          10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
          10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


          sigpic

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

            Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
            This isn't Victoria's Secret here! I should infract you for posting that!
            Wait a minute, what is that? I thought it was some kind of key holder...
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

              Looks like one of those frilly garden belts like those French Can-Can dancers wear.
              Matthew:
              5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
              5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
              10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
              10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


              sigpic

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

                Sorry, Men, I just had to run in to post the Good News®:

                Since I've not had this sickening, Satanical affliction for nearly 3 months' time now.......
                I must be becoming even Godlier!!!!!

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

                  A new Warrior for Christ® perhaps Sister Sue?

                  YIC


                  Originally posted by SUV View Post
                  Sorry, Men, I just had to run in to post the Good News®:

                  Since I've not had this sickening, Satanical affliction for nearly 3 months' time now.......
                  I must be becoming even Godlier!!!!!


                  Leviticus 26:27-29

                  27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
                  28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
                  29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

                    Originally posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
                    A new Warrior for Christ® perhaps Sister Sue?

                    YIC
                    Could a lowly worm like me ever be so Blessed?

                    Strangely, I keep hearing this song in my head: Who could it be, now? Who could it be now?

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

                      Originally posted by SUV View Post
                      Could a lowly worm like me ever be so Blessed?

                      Strangely, I keep hearing this song in my head: Who could it be, now? Who could it be now?

                      Since your "groom" never put in an appearance, it's more likely menopause than pregnancy. Unless you're pregnant by fornication proxy.
                      Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

                          It's unfortunate for women that 1 week out of a month they are unsuitable for proper relations.
                          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

                            It is not a curse, but a way for a women to keep track of her ovulation, the way God and nature intended. You guys truly make EVERYTHING a big deal. Too much time on your hands worrying about all the women. "He without sin, cast the first stone". From what I understand, men who turn every little thing into perversion are in fact perverts themselves and are only trying to take the spotlight away from their own sins.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Men, it's your duty to make certain the monthly curse is a cu

                              Originally posted by Melbran View Post
                              He without sin, cast the first stone".
                              Why thank you, you big old homer! I think I will. Go running to Mommy with your ouchie now

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
                              Working...
                              X