Tweet
As the leader of a youth group, I've had to listen to so many questions asked by despairing parents wanting to know how they can stay involved in their kids' lives once they are teenagers.
Too many young people become lost in the whirlwind of satan's traps, such as gothism, rock and roll, piercings and tattoos, liberalism, homosexuality, drugs, premarital sex, the M-word, questioning the Bible and disliking school.
I'm here today to tell you all the good news! These things don't have to happen to your kids! There are ways to prevent all of these tragic outcomes! In this guide I will explain from years of experience in dealing with upstanding youngsters and hellbound garbage how you can help your child navigate the perilous minefield of puberty!
What happens at puberty? Why does it happen? How come my kid keeps locking his door?
These are all questions I've heard numerous times. I think it's important to get a basic understanding of what and who we're dealing with here.
The LORD in His infinite wisdom created our bodies with switches inside them. These switches are turned on at puberty, and they trigger many changes and new feelings.
Satan knows that during this time your child will become extremely vulnerable to new ideas and temptations, so you can expect that old serpent to do everything he can to lure your precious child straight down to the bowels of hell!
At puberty, a kid will begin to think differently, talk differently, and act differently. He may desire privacy in unusual quantities. He may start paying more attention to his friends than he does you. He may even start neglecting church and Bible study!
These things are signs that your teen is walking on dangerous ground! It’s time to act before it is too late!
While they may not make it evident, all teens secretly desire boundaries and discipline. It is your job, as well as the job of your church, to create guidelines and rules to keep your offspring safe and happy.
This may involve establishing a fair curfew no later than 9:00, searching your kids’ bedrooms, or even just listening through a glass at the bathroom door for sounds of self-abuse.
Any violation of the rules you've set up must be met with stern rebuke.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. -Proverbs 22:15
Teenagers are like plants: They need lots of nurturing, pruning, and occasional binding with twine in order to flourish. Otherwise they will sprawl out and grow in whatever direction they happen to choose!
Because they are easily influenced and often weak, teens seek role models whom they can emulate. Of course the first role model they should have is the LORD JESUS.
In the end, your goal is to see your child blossom into an upstanding citizen and True Christian, who will go on to spawn more True Christians and keep the truth safe from the creeping poison of compromise and liberalism.
Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons. -Deuteronomy 4:9
Whether it's for letting them know why they're being punished, or for imparting the meaning of scripture to them, it is utterly important that you know how to communicate with your teen!
Teenagers often adopt strange ways of speaking that involve words that you've never heard before, or that don't mean what you think they mean.
I suggest you make it very clear in simple terms that they ought to spend more time studying the beautiful language of the King James Bible instead of whatever silly lingo and slang their friends have convinced them is 'cool.'
For your own information, the following is a list of words and their definitions that are considered 'hip' by the young people:
Aight: This is a mutilated version of the word 'alright.' It was almost certainly concocted by the negroes. If your teen uses this word, it may be a sign that he or she is embracing the negro lifestyle!
As if: It may sound like an unfinished sentence, but it's actually a way kids have of being sarcastic. If your teen utters this to you, a slap across the mouth is in order!
Bodacious: An immoral term for an attractive female figure. Listen carefully to your son's speech for this derogatory filth, particularly if he's on the phone!
Bogus: Used to describe something unfavorable or false. If used in reference to the Bible or CHRIST, discipline immediately!
Bomb, the: This term is often used in opposite of 'Bogus' to praise something. It is possible that this word originates from anti-American terrorists or anarchists, and your child may be in a gang!
Bounce: Apparently, this means to depart. Also has roots in the negro culture. If you hear your kids wanting to 'bounce' from church, it's time for more Bible study.
Chill: To relax. If your teen complains that all he wants is to 'chill' in his room instead of passing out literature, he may be doing drugs or engaging in sexual conduct that is making him tired!
Crib: Most certainly of negro origin, this term does not refer to the soft bed of an innocent baby, but to one's actual home. Any teen who uses this term is obviously immature, and may be picking up bad habits from colored friends.
Crunk: An insult meaning 'crazy skunk.' Harmless.
Def: Slang for 'defecate.' It is related to scat fetishes, so if your kid says something is 'def' or 'most def,' he or she is a pervert engaging in lewd sex acts involving bodily waste!
Dickweed: Slang for the marijuana. Any child heard using this term should be tested for drugs and kept indoors away from other people for at least two months to purge their system!
Fergalicious: A recipe popular among kids involving black-eyed peas.
Jizz: Apparently, a popular drink favored by girls and some homosexual boys. Could be some kind of dangerous weight loss product or energy drink.
Pearl Necklace: An expensive piece of neckwear that, for some reason, is of great interest to adolescent males.
Shocker, the: A lewd dance move.
Tubular: Of or pertaining to the tallywacker. Filthy!
Now that you’re familiar with some of their lingo, let’s talk about what communication should be like between you and your kids.
Ideally, they never speak unless spoken to and always end their sentences with “sir” or “ma’am.”
Conversation should always be about wholesome and family-friendly topics that inspire your teenagers to be upright and respectful of their elders. Talk about what you want to talk about first, and then ask them about something relevant to them. Teenagers love to answer questions from their parents, especially about school and friends.
Dinner time is an excellent time for conversation. It’s a time when all the members of the family can share the events of their day with each other and praise the LORD who watches over your home and provides them lots of good food to eat and a good wife and loving daughters to prepare it.
An excellent way to prepare your kids for a career as a minister while simultaneously scrutinizing their relationship with GOD is to ask one of them to say the blessing over the meal.
A good giving of thanks for the evening meal lasts between three to four minutes and does not just focus on the food but on everything the LORD does for us throughout the day and year. If your kids tend to rush through saying grace to get to the actual meal, they are likely gluttons who are well-fed on the outside, but are spiritually malnourished. For these types, I suggest a stern scolding about having some respect for the LORD and enrollment at Bible camp for a summer to lose weight and teach them patience.
Teenagers should not disagree with their parents. If they do, it could be a sign of rebellion, and calls for immediate whipping and assertion of your dominance over them. After all, if they do not learn how to agree with everything you say, how will they become servants of the LORD?
As they become adolescents, you can expect kids to start thinking about sex and even asking questions about it. This kind of curiosity is not a positive thing to see pop up in your kids, and it may be a sign they have been thinking dirty thoughts.
Sometimes you can just tell when a kid is thinking about sex. Look for signs of distraction, sullenness, anger and confusion. If your teenager is acting like this, a direct approach is in order. Confront him or her and scream, “YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT SEX AGAIN AREN’T YOU, YOU LITTLE PERVERT! DEMONS OF LUST COME OUT!”
This is especially effective in public and in front of your kids’ friends. Shout it from the window just as they’re approaching the school bus in the morning, or when you pick them up from football practice. It will make a lasting impression on your kids and boost their respect for your concern over their wellbeing. Do not be afraid to let your children know you are aware of their depravity. They will thank you for it later!
The only thing your teenagers really need to know about sex is that it is dirty and is designed for a husband and a wife, and NOBODY ELSE!
I once had the uncomfortable experience of having one of my pimply youth group boys asking me how sex works. After my initial shock, I rebuked him for being a lustful deviant and explained that the LORD will reveal everything he needs to know on his wedding night.
Personally, I did not come to know my wife in the Biblical sense until about three weeks after the honeymoon, simply because we both agreed it would be depraved to rush right into the act. Of course I did not share these intimate details with the inquisitive pervert staring at me through immorally long bangs, but I think it’s important that parents teach their own kids that there is no shame in waiting a respectable amount of time even after marriage to engage in physical relations.
In this modern age of liberalism and depravity, Christian youngsters now have the added confusion of dealing with peer pressure to use birth control. In his craftiness, the devil has introduced means for people to do that without bringing fourth precious life. It is also a way for homosexuals and unwed fornicators to avoid GOD’s equally clever infectious punishments for this immoral behavior.
There is NEVER an excuse for Christians to use birth control. EVER.
A rubber baggy is no place for millions of microscopic unborn Christians! But don’t take my word for it, take HIS:
If you’re a True Christian parent, it’s a given that you root through your children’s rooms at least twice a month to look for signs of immorality. As a True Christian parent, you are also probably unfamiliar with what certain forms of immorality may look like. I have provided the following Q&A as a handy reference for your next inspection:
Q: I found a long rubber or plastic cylindrical device in my daughter’s room that looks suspiciously like the male unmentionable! What is it?
A: You may have found a so-called ‘dildo’ (please forgive my language.) It is an infernal device that your daughter inserts into her privates to give herself sinful pleasure. If you don’t believe me, carefully take a whiff of it to confirm her debauchery! Then, take it out and burn it!
Q: I found a long rubber or plastic cylindrical device in my son’s room that looks suspiciously like the male unmentionable! What is it?
A: Just burn it, and throw your son out of the house immediately!
Q: A found a box of rubbery balloon-like thingies in my child’s room that look like zucchini coverings. What are they?
A: What you have found is an arsenal of weapons used to slay millions of unborn Christian babies. Burn the entire box and confront your child immediately!
Q: I found a strange white stain on my son’s bed sheet/underwear/rolled up sock that was under the bed. Help!
A: As a True Christian parent, you’ve probably never seen this before. You have unfortunately stumbled across a mass grave in your very own home! This is what the Bible calls ‘seed,’ and it should’ve gone into the woman that GOD has picked out for your son to be his wife, but instead it has been carelessly discarded! Confront your son immediately, rub his face in the stain like a dog, and then burn whatever has been contaminated!
Q: I found a magazine that has pictures of naked people and dirty stories in my child’s room! What should I do?
A: Please send the perverted reading material to one of our pastors immediately! He will evaluate it and give you further instructions.
Q: I found a baggy full of grassy stuff/white powder in my child’s room. What is it and what do I do?
A: If it’s grass, it’s probably the marijuana! If it’s powder your guess is as good as mine. It could be a drug, or it might be makeup. Either way, burn it and strike the offending offspring with an oversized KJV1611!
JESUS told us that nobody gets into Heaven but by HIM. Each and every one of us must become CHRIST-like if we expect to share eternity in paradise with people who are refreshingly all the same.
But what would it be like if you go to Heaven and your sluttish daughter or rebellious son is sizzling in Hell?
Of course you won’t miss them because it’s Heaven and nobody is unhappy in Heaven, but you will still miss them. We may not understand how you could miss somebody at the same time that you don’t miss them, but there are many things about GOD and Heaven we will not comprehend until we meet HIM face to face.
The best you can do is to beat your children often, take them to church every week, and make sure they’re reading the Bible.
Life is a complicated game, and it’s easy to get lost without the directions!
I certainly hope that this guide has been instructive and will be beneficial to those of you who have older children.
I have always had a soft, warm place in my heart for young people, and I would truly hate to seem
them spit in the precious face of our savior and end up in Hell.
Yours in CHRIST,
Bob Fore.
Too many young people become lost in the whirlwind of satan's traps, such as gothism, rock and roll, piercings and tattoos, liberalism, homosexuality, drugs, premarital sex, the M-word, questioning the Bible and disliking school.
I'm here today to tell you all the good news! These things don't have to happen to your kids! There are ways to prevent all of these tragic outcomes! In this guide I will explain from years of experience in dealing with upstanding youngsters and hellbound garbage how you can help your child navigate the perilous minefield of puberty!
PART ONE
UNDERSTANDING YOUR TEEN
What happens at puberty? Why does it happen? How come my kid keeps locking his door?
These are all questions I've heard numerous times. I think it's important to get a basic understanding of what and who we're dealing with here.
The LORD in His infinite wisdom created our bodies with switches inside them. These switches are turned on at puberty, and they trigger many changes and new feelings.
Satan knows that during this time your child will become extremely vulnerable to new ideas and temptations, so you can expect that old serpent to do everything he can to lure your precious child straight down to the bowels of hell!
At puberty, a kid will begin to think differently, talk differently, and act differently. He may desire privacy in unusual quantities. He may start paying more attention to his friends than he does you. He may even start neglecting church and Bible study!
These things are signs that your teen is walking on dangerous ground! It’s time to act before it is too late!
While they may not make it evident, all teens secretly desire boundaries and discipline. It is your job, as well as the job of your church, to create guidelines and rules to keep your offspring safe and happy.
This may involve establishing a fair curfew no later than 9:00, searching your kids’ bedrooms, or even just listening through a glass at the bathroom door for sounds of self-abuse.
Any violation of the rules you've set up must be met with stern rebuke.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. -Proverbs 22:15
Teenagers are like plants: They need lots of nurturing, pruning, and occasional binding with twine in order to flourish. Otherwise they will sprawl out and grow in whatever direction they happen to choose!
Because they are easily influenced and often weak, teens seek role models whom they can emulate. Of course the first role model they should have is the LORD JESUS.
In the end, your goal is to see your child blossom into an upstanding citizen and True Christian, who will go on to spawn more True Christians and keep the truth safe from the creeping poison of compromise and liberalism.
Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons. -Deuteronomy 4:9
PART TWO
COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR TEEN
Whether it's for letting them know why they're being punished, or for imparting the meaning of scripture to them, it is utterly important that you know how to communicate with your teen!
Teenagers often adopt strange ways of speaking that involve words that you've never heard before, or that don't mean what you think they mean.
I suggest you make it very clear in simple terms that they ought to spend more time studying the beautiful language of the King James Bible instead of whatever silly lingo and slang their friends have convinced them is 'cool.'
For your own information, the following is a list of words and their definitions that are considered 'hip' by the young people:
Aight: This is a mutilated version of the word 'alright.' It was almost certainly concocted by the negroes. If your teen uses this word, it may be a sign that he or she is embracing the negro lifestyle!
As if: It may sound like an unfinished sentence, but it's actually a way kids have of being sarcastic. If your teen utters this to you, a slap across the mouth is in order!
Bodacious: An immoral term for an attractive female figure. Listen carefully to your son's speech for this derogatory filth, particularly if he's on the phone!
Bogus: Used to describe something unfavorable or false. If used in reference to the Bible or CHRIST, discipline immediately!
Bomb, the: This term is often used in opposite of 'Bogus' to praise something. It is possible that this word originates from anti-American terrorists or anarchists, and your child may be in a gang!
Bounce: Apparently, this means to depart. Also has roots in the negro culture. If you hear your kids wanting to 'bounce' from church, it's time for more Bible study.
Chill: To relax. If your teen complains that all he wants is to 'chill' in his room instead of passing out literature, he may be doing drugs or engaging in sexual conduct that is making him tired!
Crib: Most certainly of negro origin, this term does not refer to the soft bed of an innocent baby, but to one's actual home. Any teen who uses this term is obviously immature, and may be picking up bad habits from colored friends.
Crunk: An insult meaning 'crazy skunk.' Harmless.
Def: Slang for 'defecate.' It is related to scat fetishes, so if your kid says something is 'def' or 'most def,' he or she is a pervert engaging in lewd sex acts involving bodily waste!
Dickweed: Slang for the marijuana. Any child heard using this term should be tested for drugs and kept indoors away from other people for at least two months to purge their system!
Fergalicious: A recipe popular among kids involving black-eyed peas.
Jizz: Apparently, a popular drink favored by girls and some homosexual boys. Could be some kind of dangerous weight loss product or energy drink.
Pearl Necklace: An expensive piece of neckwear that, for some reason, is of great interest to adolescent males.
Shocker, the: A lewd dance move.
Tubular: Of or pertaining to the tallywacker. Filthy!
Now that you’re familiar with some of their lingo, let’s talk about what communication should be like between you and your kids.
Ideally, they never speak unless spoken to and always end their sentences with “sir” or “ma’am.”
Conversation should always be about wholesome and family-friendly topics that inspire your teenagers to be upright and respectful of their elders. Talk about what you want to talk about first, and then ask them about something relevant to them. Teenagers love to answer questions from their parents, especially about school and friends.
Dinner time is an excellent time for conversation. It’s a time when all the members of the family can share the events of their day with each other and praise the LORD who watches over your home and provides them lots of good food to eat and a good wife and loving daughters to prepare it.
An excellent way to prepare your kids for a career as a minister while simultaneously scrutinizing their relationship with GOD is to ask one of them to say the blessing over the meal.
A good giving of thanks for the evening meal lasts between three to four minutes and does not just focus on the food but on everything the LORD does for us throughout the day and year. If your kids tend to rush through saying grace to get to the actual meal, they are likely gluttons who are well-fed on the outside, but are spiritually malnourished. For these types, I suggest a stern scolding about having some respect for the LORD and enrollment at Bible camp for a summer to lose weight and teach them patience.
Teenagers should not disagree with their parents. If they do, it could be a sign of rebellion, and calls for immediate whipping and assertion of your dominance over them. After all, if they do not learn how to agree with everything you say, how will they become servants of the LORD?
PART THREE
TEMPTATIONS OF THE FLESH
But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saint… -Ephesians 5:3
As they become adolescents, you can expect kids to start thinking about sex and even asking questions about it. This kind of curiosity is not a positive thing to see pop up in your kids, and it may be a sign they have been thinking dirty thoughts.
Sometimes you can just tell when a kid is thinking about sex. Look for signs of distraction, sullenness, anger and confusion. If your teenager is acting like this, a direct approach is in order. Confront him or her and scream, “YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT SEX AGAIN AREN’T YOU, YOU LITTLE PERVERT! DEMONS OF LUST COME OUT!”
This is especially effective in public and in front of your kids’ friends. Shout it from the window just as they’re approaching the school bus in the morning, or when you pick them up from football practice. It will make a lasting impression on your kids and boost their respect for your concern over their wellbeing. Do not be afraid to let your children know you are aware of their depravity. They will thank you for it later!
The only thing your teenagers really need to know about sex is that it is dirty and is designed for a husband and a wife, and NOBODY ELSE!
I once had the uncomfortable experience of having one of my pimply youth group boys asking me how sex works. After my initial shock, I rebuked him for being a lustful deviant and explained that the LORD will reveal everything he needs to know on his wedding night.
Personally, I did not come to know my wife in the Biblical sense until about three weeks after the honeymoon, simply because we both agreed it would be depraved to rush right into the act. Of course I did not share these intimate details with the inquisitive pervert staring at me through immorally long bangs, but I think it’s important that parents teach their own kids that there is no shame in waiting a respectable amount of time even after marriage to engage in physical relations.
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: -1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
In this modern age of liberalism and depravity, Christian youngsters now have the added confusion of dealing with peer pressure to use birth control. In his craftiness, the devil has introduced means for people to do that without bringing fourth precious life. It is also a way for homosexuals and unwed fornicators to avoid GOD’s equally clever infectious punishments for this immoral behavior.
There is NEVER an excuse for Christians to use birth control. EVER.
A rubber baggy is no place for millions of microscopic unborn Christians! But don’t take my word for it, take HIS:
And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein. – Genesis 9:7
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also. – Genesis 38:9-10
Thou shalt not kill. –Exodus 20:13
If you’re a True Christian parent, it’s a given that you root through your children’s rooms at least twice a month to look for signs of immorality. As a True Christian parent, you are also probably unfamiliar with what certain forms of immorality may look like. I have provided the following Q&A as a handy reference for your next inspection:
Q: I found a long rubber or plastic cylindrical device in my daughter’s room that looks suspiciously like the male unmentionable! What is it?
A: You may have found a so-called ‘dildo’ (please forgive my language.) It is an infernal device that your daughter inserts into her privates to give herself sinful pleasure. If you don’t believe me, carefully take a whiff of it to confirm her debauchery! Then, take it out and burn it!
Q: I found a long rubber or plastic cylindrical device in my son’s room that looks suspiciously like the male unmentionable! What is it?
A: Just burn it, and throw your son out of the house immediately!
Q: A found a box of rubbery balloon-like thingies in my child’s room that look like zucchini coverings. What are they?
A: What you have found is an arsenal of weapons used to slay millions of unborn Christian babies. Burn the entire box and confront your child immediately!
Q: I found a strange white stain on my son’s bed sheet/underwear/rolled up sock that was under the bed. Help!
A: As a True Christian parent, you’ve probably never seen this before. You have unfortunately stumbled across a mass grave in your very own home! This is what the Bible calls ‘seed,’ and it should’ve gone into the woman that GOD has picked out for your son to be his wife, but instead it has been carelessly discarded! Confront your son immediately, rub his face in the stain like a dog, and then burn whatever has been contaminated!
Q: I found a magazine that has pictures of naked people and dirty stories in my child’s room! What should I do?
A: Please send the perverted reading material to one of our pastors immediately! He will evaluate it and give you further instructions.
Q: I found a baggy full of grassy stuff/white powder in my child’s room. What is it and what do I do?
A: If it’s grass, it’s probably the marijuana! If it’s powder your guess is as good as mine. It could be a drug, or it might be makeup. Either way, burn it and strike the offending offspring with an oversized KJV1611!
PART FOUR
WILL YOUR CHILD BE IN HEAVEN?
JESUS told us that nobody gets into Heaven but by HIM. Each and every one of us must become CHRIST-like if we expect to share eternity in paradise with people who are refreshingly all the same.
But what would it be like if you go to Heaven and your sluttish daughter or rebellious son is sizzling in Hell?
Of course you won’t miss them because it’s Heaven and nobody is unhappy in Heaven, but you will still miss them. We may not understand how you could miss somebody at the same time that you don’t miss them, but there are many things about GOD and Heaven we will not comprehend until we meet HIM face to face.
The best you can do is to beat your children often, take them to church every week, and make sure they’re reading the Bible.
Life is a complicated game, and it’s easy to get lost without the directions!
I certainly hope that this guide has been instructive and will be beneficial to those of you who have older children.
I have always had a soft, warm place in my heart for young people, and I would truly hate to seem
them spit in the precious face of our savior and end up in Hell.
Yours in CHRIST,
Bob Fore.
Comment