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  #1  
Old 01-19-2007, 05:04 PM
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Default Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Dear Little UnSaved Racists (who come onto our Godly Forum spewing hate speech):

We at Landover Baptist Church do not follow your bigoted ways. Unlike you, we do not refer to colored folk with derogatory terms. Instead, we use LBC/God-approved language, such as:

Colored person/folk
Darkie
Descendant of Ham (LOOK IT UP, it's in Genesis)
Canaanite (LOOK IT UP, it's in Genesis)
Negro/Negress
Nigra/Nigress

The latter two are always capitalized, as they are proper terms for the Negroid race (much as Caucasian is the proper term for Godly White Folk).

We do not use the gutter slang word, "nigger", except in context to rebuke bigots like yourselves.

After several hours in deep prayer with Brother Love's good friend Deacon J. Daniels, a solution for this most vexing problem was revealed to me in a vision.

Jesus has decided that the use of this word has been deemed so awful, and so wrong, that anyone (who is not Saved or at least using it in the proper context of rebuking racist heathens) that mutters this word is automatically banned for 7 days!

Having unquestioning faith in Jesus, I have no doubt that this will help remove these evil people who have no desire to learn about God and Jesus from our midst.

Indeed, it is a shame that these heathens cannot realize that we are only here to share the unvarnished Truth about God's Word, and who God and Jesus are as described in God's Word (the KJV1611). Perhaps if they were to read their Bibles instead of spending all their time chatting online, they'd learn something about God.

Instead, they prefer to listen to Pastor Feelgood and his little snippets of happiness and joy! It's much easier to believe in a God and Jesus of your own design, who love everyone equally, than to learn about the real God and Jesus! The Bible tells us all about Him!

God hates sheep (and racist heathens).

Last edited by OnYourKnees; 01-19-2007 at 05:05 PM.
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  #2  
Old 01-19-2007, 05:14 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

I think ALL Racists that use nasty words against Coloured folks or even Ex-Negras like our Brother Remy deserve a big fat PUNCH IN THE FACE from Jesus©.

Praise The Lord™ Brother On Your Knees for bringing this matter to The Board.
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  #3  
Old 01-19-2007, 05:27 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Such hate speech should never be tolerated!

As it's not a biblical term (kjv1611) I would never use it in polite conversation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by biblegateway.com
Sorry. No results found for "nigger" in Keyword Search.
Whereas Canaanite is used 68 times!

Praise Jesus that brother oyk is not niggardly and will stand up for what is right!

PRAISE JESUS!!!

YIC
V
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  #4  
Old 01-19-2007, 05:37 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Dear Little UnSaved Racists (who come onto our Godly Forum spewing hate speech):

We at Landover Baptist Church do not follow your bigoted ways. Unlike you, we do not refer to colored folk with derogatory terms. Instead, we use LBC/God-approved language, such as:

Colored person/folk
Darkie
Descendant of Ham (LOOK IT UP, it's in Genesis)
Canaanite (LOOK IT UP, it's in Genesis)
Negro/Negress
Nigra/Nigress
Brother,

Don't forget "Niglet" for baby tarbabies.

Thank you for posting this wonderful information.

With love and compassion, Sister Thumper
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  #5  
Old 01-19-2007, 05:59 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

I shared this good news with my Nigress housekeeper and she was so excited she let out a mighty whoop and chucked her mop like a spear. It tapped my cup of coffee, sending the contents spilling onto the table so of course I had to fire her after she finished cleaning it up, but I'm sure her unSaved spirits were still soaring high knowing of this new rule.
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  #6  
Old 01-19-2007, 06:13 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
I shared this good news with my Nigress housekeeper and she was so excited she let out a mighty whoop and chucked her mop like a spear. It tapped my cup of coffee, sending the contents spilling onto the table so of course I had to fire her after she finished cleaning it up, but I'm sure her unSaved spirits were still soaring high knowing of this new rule.
Praise JESUS Sister Mary!

I bet she did a "jigaboo"!

Delighted, Sister Thumper
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  #7  
Old 01-19-2007, 06:25 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

What if one of those flappy-lipped jungle bunny's comes in here and starts calling us "cracker" and stuff like that. They should be punished too; not only the white people.

Dean
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  #8  
Old 01-19-2007, 06:29 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

AMEN Brother Deaner.

Everybody is always trying to bring Whitey down.

WE are the minority! White, Wealthy, Republicans are the Minority!

You don't see us sitting on our gigantic roll butts on our porches all day doing nothing like a Porch Monkey, now do ya.

With Love, Sister Thumper
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Last edited by Daisy Mae Johnson; 01-19-2007 at 06:35 PM.
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  #9  
Old 01-21-2007, 10:24 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus is Lord View Post
we are not afraid of a black president, as long as said president has repented of his pie-stealing, white woman raping ways.
Do i detect racism?
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Old 01-21-2007, 10:33 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacekeeper View Post
Do i detect racism?
Unfortunately, yes. Some Negras just can't help themselves.
Why, only today I had an Apple pie cooling on my window sill and some damnable Darkie was seen by my Mexican Gardener running off with it screaming "Ah Stole ya Pie Honkie"

Jesus Weeps.
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Old 01-21-2007, 10:36 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacekeeper View Post
Do i detect racism?
Nope, no racism here. True Christians™ are not racist in the least. We just happen to understand and know GOD's place for Negroes and other colored folk.

It is a fact that the wild Negroe bucks have a tendency to steal pies cooling on window sills and to rape innocent white women.

If a Negroe repents of his wild ways and accepts JESUS into his heart he becomes white in the eyes of the LORD. I'd have no problems with Brother Remy becoming president as he was never a fully wild Negroe and has long repented of the wild ways he did have.
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Old 01-22-2007, 11:41 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Unfortunately, yes. Some Negras just can't help themselves.
Why, only today I had an Apple pie cooling on my window sill and some damnable Darkie was seen by my Mexican Gardener running off with it screaming "Ah Stole ya Pie Honkie"

Jesus Weeps.
Pictures, evidence. Or else you are just making things up to make black people look bad.
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Old 01-23-2007, 12:18 AM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacekeeper View Post
Pictures, evidence. Or else you are just making things up to make black people look bad.
Now why would we do that? Negroes do enough to make themselves look bad without having to make stuff up.

Do you think that a True Christian™ Lady would make up something like that? To do so would be to lie and lying is a sin. As True Christians™ are unable to sin* so it is not possible that it is made up.

I myself have seen a few darkies running off with a pie that one of my wives left cooling on the window sill. I release the dogs to chase after the thieves but usually they get over the fence before the dogs catch them.

All pictures and other evidence of this pie stealing is turned over to the Landover Security Forces so they can find these thieves and bring them to justice.


*1st John 3:6 Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.
1st John 3:7 Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous.
1st John 3:8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.
1st John 3:9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.
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Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

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  #14  
Old 01-23-2007, 12:53 AM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacekeeper View Post
Do i detect racism?
It's always been a political hot potato with this. Does the negro steal the pie because he's racist and hates white people? Maybe.

Or does the negro steal the pie because he's hungry because he has no money because he is too lazy to work? I dunno.

Your guess is as good as mine. No sense asking a darkie, they're born liars.

Dean
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  #15  
Old 01-23-2007, 12:57 AM
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Tyrone Shoelaces Tyrone Shoelaces is offline
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

THAT is a stereotype if I have ever heard one......
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  #16  
Old 01-23-2007, 03:10 AM
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OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

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Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
THAT is a stereotype if I have ever heard one......
So you're saying that you've also heard many stories about Negroes stealing pies?

See, Deaner! I told you it wasn't just a Freehold thing.
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  #17  
Old 01-23-2007, 04:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Jesus is Lord View Post
As True Christians™ are unable to sin* so it is not possible that it is made up.
You are in false belief that you cannot do wrong. EVERY human does wrong. So by saying you are unable to sin you are lying and that is a sin.

Another question, why the hell do you bake pies and put them on your window sill. Its called letting them cool off on your counter. Maybe if you didn't have a learning disability you would realize that baking pies and putting them on a window sill gets them stolen you wouldn't do it anymore.

Last edited by OnYourKnees; 01-23-2007 at 04:28 PM. Reason: Merged posts
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  #18  
Old 01-23-2007, 04:31 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Oh hurray i get an infraction for saying someone has a learning disability. But nobody gets an infraction for calling others mormons, idiots, and retards. I know im a big target for the infraction button, but i mean. Come on... grow up. If you dont like what i say then tell me it instead of pressing the infraction button.
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  #19  
Old 01-23-2007, 06:48 PM
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacekeeper View Post
Oh hurray i get an infraction for saying someone has a learning disability. But nobody gets an infraction for calling others mormons, idiots, and retards. I know im a big target for the infraction button, but i mean. Come on... grow up. If you dont like what i say then tell me it instead of pressing the infraction button.
You've been told repeatedly. You don't listen, and you don't learn.

Who has the learning disability?
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  #20  
Old 01-23-2007, 06:52 PM
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Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Default Re: Managing Racism - INSTABAN Feature

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Originally Posted by Peacekeeper View Post
Pictures, evidence. Or else you are just making things up to make black people look bad.
What, so you want Sister Talitha to provide a photo of an event that she missed, but her Meskin gardener saw? How does your camera work, friend?

Oh, and another thing: Have you ever seen a picture of an evolution? If not, how do you know it exists, and not just something made up by Jewish/seculiar scientists to make God look bad?
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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