The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Promise Enforcers - Men Only!

Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-05-2009, 12:00 PM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 76,840
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

THIS story out of slantland just made my stomach turn. Just look at the PERVERSION these little yellow monkeys wallow in!

Quote:
Secretary bites off boss’ penis

A SECRETARY accidentally bit off the penis of her employer while giving him oral sex in a car.

Sin Chew Daily and China Press reported yesterday that while the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on the man, the car was hit by a reversing van.

The impact of the crash, China Press reported, caused the woman to bite off her lover’s organ.

The daily reported that the incident occurred in a Singapore park where the couple met after work.

To make matters worse for the woman, her husband had sent a private investigator to spy on her after suspecting that she was being unfaithful.

The investigator said he had followed the woman and her boss to the park.

“On reaching the park, they did not alight from the car. Not long after, the car started to shake violently.

After the car was hit by the van, there was a loud scream from the woman whose mouth was covered with blood,” he said.

The woman later followed her lover to the hospital with part of the sexual organ in her mouth.

The investigator, who called an ambulance to send the man to hospital, said that this was not the first time he had encountered such an incident.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-05-2009, 12:17 PM
eliot mayfield's Avatar
eliot mayfield eliot mayfield is offline
God Squad
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 3rd class Tin Tither Ribfest '06 Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Long service medal, 2nd class Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
Posts: 9,329
eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Sin Chew Daily???? How often does this sort of thing go on over there?
__________________
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-05-2009, 12:20 PM
Wide-Open's Avatar
Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
Director of European Evangelical Outreach
A Shining Example of Christ's Love
Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Mission to Australia Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Nerd True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Ex-eurotrash Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
Posts: 18,665
Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

I just threw up a little in my mouth Pastor.

Why on earth was his tallywhacker in her mouth.

It just doesn't make sense!

Genesis 24:57
And they said, We will call the damsel, and enquire at her mouth
__________________
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-05-2009, 12:25 PM
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch. Revelation 6:8
Posts: 22,415
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

I'd also recommend against getting a b-job in a car in Japan. You know how the drivers are over there. They can't even back up without hitting your car.
__________________
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-05-2009, 01:49 PM
Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is online now
Senior Pastor
Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
Always Biblically correct
 

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Publisher's Choice True Heterosexual™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Tithing Manager Christian Love Ex-Mary Worshipper Long service medal, 2nd class Senior Pastor Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 10,233
Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Perhaps this is a sign of the Lord's mercy. If that man put his tallywhacker anywhere except in a baby chute, then he must have been a homer. By relieving him of his male organ, the Lord could have intended to spare him from a life of putting it into even worse places .
__________________
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-05-2009, 03:14 PM
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Posts: 18,571
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

This good Christian can tell you the last place you will find my tallywacker is in some woman's mouth.
__________________

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-05-2009, 08:49 PM
Bob4God's Avatar
Bob4God Bob4God is offline
Moderator
Arms Dealer for CHRIST
Hands folded for Jesus
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '06 2008 Witch Hunt Award Silver Tither Real American™ Heaven Bound Home Schooled Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Ex-Gay Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Christian Love Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
Posts: 5,222
Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

This is the kind of actual investigative journalism I'd like to see more of. This is the stuff happening in the world that really matters, and sends a clear message to the unsaved about the dangers of spitting in the face of monogamous marriage!
__________________

The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-26-2009, 04:13 PM
BrianAddams BrianAddams is offline
Unsaved trash
 

How dumb can you get? 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 42
BrianAddams is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I'd also recommend against getting a b-job in a car in Japan. You know how the drivers are over there. They can't even back up without hitting your car.
Singapore isn't in Japan. It's a city and a country in itself. Very scenic actually. Why does no one on here know basic geography. There are other countries in the world.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 12-26-2009, 04:18 PM
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
Posts: 11,026
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

No doubt it's that Man-Hating "Lorena Bobbitt" gone to Jap-pan to escape the Shame she brought upon herself over here.
Got her eyes Surgically slanted, thought no one would Know....

Yah-yah, Lorena! We all know it is YOU!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 12-26-2009, 04:20 PM
Wide-Open's Avatar
Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
Director of European Evangelical Outreach
A Shining Example of Christ's Love
Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Mission to Australia Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Nerd True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Ex-eurotrash Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
Posts: 18,665
Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianAddams View Post
There are other countries in the world.
None that are worth knowing about though.
__________________
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 12-26-2009, 06:44 PM
BrianAddams BrianAddams is offline
Unsaved trash
 

How dumb can you get? 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 42
BrianAddams is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
None that are worth knowing about though.
The Tower of London, The Eiffel Tower, The Sydney Opera House, The London Eye, The Colloseum, The Leaning Tower of Piza. You haven't lived until you've seen the world. Offtopic though. A few years back a woman cut her husbands 'tallywacker' off. They sewed it back on and He makes unspeakable films now.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 12-26-2009, 07:10 PM
Wide-Open's Avatar
Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
Director of European Evangelical Outreach
A Shining Example of Christ's Love
Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Mission to Australia Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Nerd True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Ex-eurotrash Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
Posts: 18,665
Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianAddams View Post
The Tower of London, The Eiffel Tower, The Sydney Opera House, The London Eye, The Colloseum, The Leaning Tower of Piza.
They make towers out of piza there? That's retarded!

What's it leaning against?
__________________
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 12-26-2009, 08:13 PM
Noah Dint Noah Dint is offline
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award True Heterosexual™ Gold Tither The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: On an island in the Gulf of Mexico.
Posts: 698
Noah Dint is a True Christian™Noah Dint is a True Christian™Noah Dint is a True Christian™Noah Dint is a True Christian™Noah Dint is a True Christian™Noah Dint is a True Christian™Noah Dint is a True Christian™Noah Dint is a True Christian™Noah Dint is a True Christian™Noah Dint is a True Christian™Noah Dint is a True Christian™
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

This is why a drivers license should never be given to anyone that you can blindfold with dental floss. Heathens, each and every last one of them.

-ND
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 12-26-2009, 09:47 PM
HTannor's Avatar
HTannor HTannor is offline
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™

True Christian™ Tin Tither Real American™ Christian Love Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Punched the most queers Teabag Patriot One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Pro-Life Porn Resistant TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Eats the Most Pork True Republican Proud Niglet Sponsorer 

Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2,612
HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!HTannor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Japan, Singapore, who cares? They're are all slantville.

Those Jap women all have buck teeth that should be registered as dangerous weapons.
__________________
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 07-12-2011, 02:22 AM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 76,840
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Shout GLORY!
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 07-12-2011, 02:49 AM
Billy Bob Jenkins's Avatar
Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
About as Straight and Manly as you can get
Hates anal sex. And trees.
 

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Ex-Masturbator Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Home Schooled True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot The Hatchet Child Rearing Award One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Ex-treehugger Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
Posts: 8,004
Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Japs have sharp corners everywhere, especially on their teeth. That is why they are called "chinks". The myth of the vampire is based on ornamental peoples such as the Japs and the Chinkanese. They have squinty, mean looking eyes that are the result of scowling while they are still in the womb, which is when they start plotting their destructive rampages of child pornography and human trafficking, which is all they are known for apart from VCRs and sex robots.
__________________
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 07-12-2011, 08:34 AM
Rev. Friday Obobo's Avatar
Rev. Friday Obobo Rev. Friday Obobo is offline
Unsaved trash, genuine spearchucker
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Straw Village, Nigeria
Posts: 42
Rev. Friday Obobo has had a couple of people click the rep button.Rev. Friday Obobo has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
I just threw up a little in my mouth Pastor.

Why on earth was his tallywhacker in her mouth.

It just doesn't make sense!

Genesis 24:57
And they said, We will call the damsel, and enquire at her mouth
Well, it's a sure way to make a woman shut-up. Although I'm not to sure if those Asian fellows have enough 'meat' for that...

YiC,

Rev. Friday Obobo
__________________
Numbers35:19
The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him.

Rev. Friday Obobo. Chucking spears for Jesus.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 07-12-2011, 10:44 AM
Brother Enoch's Avatar
Brother Enoch Brother Enoch is offline
The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™

True Christian™ Ex-Mary Worshipper Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Saved 1 Year One Year/1000 posts Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Tin Tither Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted Flat Earth Eats the Most Pork Honorary Ex-Eskimo True Republican 

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
Posts: 4,341
Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Friday Obobo View Post
Well, it's a sure way to make a woman shut-up.
A FAR more Godly way to make a woman 'shut up' is to give her a KJV and refer her to 1 Timothy 2:11

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

The difficult part is teaching her to read first.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 07-12-2011, 05:01 PM
WWJDnow's Avatar
WWJDnow WWJDnow is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Australia Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Bronze Tither Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Godless New York City
Posts: 3,832
WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianAddams View Post
The Tower of London, The Eiffel Tower, The Sydney Opera House, The London Eye, The Colloseum, The Leaning Tower of Piza.
Those are all Catholic abominations.
__________________
The kinetic theory of gasses is ONLY a THEORY.

Teach the controversy!
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 07-17-2011, 01:03 AM
Brother Helge's Avatar
Brother Helge Brother Helge is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Bronze Tither Porn Resistant Honorary Ex-Eskimo Iceland Pro-Life True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: On my way to Heaven!
Posts: 1,074
Brother Helge is a True Christian™Brother Helge is a True Christian™Brother Helge is a True Christian™Brother Helge is a True Christian™Brother Helge is a True Christian™Brother Helge is a True Christian™Brother Helge is a True Christian™Brother Helge is a True Christian™Brother Helge is a True Christian™Brother Helge is a True Christian™Brother Helge is a True Christian™
Default Re: Don't Marry a Jap! She'll Bite Your Tallywacker Off!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianAddams View Post
Singapore isn't in Japan. It's a city and a country in itself. Very scenic actually. Why does no one on here know basic geography. There are other countries in the world.
Race mixing is wrong anyway...
God hates race mixers.
__________________
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
japanese erotic zone

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:03 PM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2009 all rights reserved