Ask a True Christian(tm) Pastor

[Pastor Ezekiel]

We pastors at Landover Baptist Church get so many questions every day, I thought that it might benefit others if we posted some of the more interesting queries here. I've spoken with Pastor Billy-Rueben, Rev. Jim and the others, and they have graciously agreed to contribute.


I got this question just last week.

Quenton Williamson writes: My question to you is if it is a possibility that Jesus was in his last hour abandoned by the Holy Spirit or he was not. My idea is that he was abandoned at it’s last hour just like many people are going to find out after the rapture. that the Holy Spirit it’s no longer among them. What is your opinion on this please?

Dear Quenton,

It’s my understanding that Jesus was abandoned by both the Father and the Holy Spirit while on the cross. For 3 hours He hung there alone while the world went dark around Him. This is what made Him cry, “My God, my God. Why have you forsaken me?” just before He died. (Matt. 27:45-50) As He took on the sins of the world they could no longer be in His presence and had to turn their backs on Him.

However, the Holy Spirit will not abandon the world in the same way. After we get to Heaven, He’ll be released from us, and will return to the world to draw more people to the Lord. But He won’t be sealed in the hearts of Tribulation believers the way He was with the Church.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

Here's another one that just came across my desk:

Brother Elmer wrote: Thank you for posting these questions! I have a problem. My wife has recently gotten mad at me for reading about end times prophecy. She feels that she doesn’t want the rapture to happen because it would take away the life that we have just started together. She also does not seek out information on Jesus or what it means to be a Christian. What should I/can I do? I don’t know what I can do to console her. Is it right to assume that the rapture will happen in the next five years?

Dear Brother Elmer,

Like most Christians, it sounds like your wife has been taught a secular world view. That means she has been encouraged to build a happy, successful life here and to want all the nice things this world has to offer. She probably doesn’t know much about our eternal destiny and how much better it will be. Maybe she hadn’t even thought about it until you came along. If so, she may view the Rapture as something that will deprive her of all the things she’s been taught to want.

What you can do is to teach her about the good things that are coming. And remember, in doing so you’re going to be changing her entire outlook on life, so take your time and be patient. It is right to assume that the Rapture will happen soon, because it could happen at any moment.

Since we aren't certain whether women even have souls, you might want to avoid making any actual promises that your wife will go to Heaven.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

Well, I'll be glad to participate, Pastor Zeke! This is from a private e-mail I received from a young lady interested in my Ladies of the Lord ministry, as well as certain questions how a young lady should behave. (Names have been changed to protect the anonymity of the people.)

Dear Rev. Jim,

What all would the ministry include? Teaching wise, as you know I'm new to being saved, and my Bible has gone everywhere with me, including a doctors appointment I was forced to. So I'm willing to learn as much as I can. I'm not intirely sure how a True Christian woman should dress, or infact, behave. I do have a rather smart mouth at times.

-Jessie

Dear Jessie,

Well, as a True Christian™ pastor I believe in preaching all of the Bible, not just bits and pieces. Many of the liberal branches of Christianity tend to ignore most of the Bible and focus on things like John 3:16 or Matthew 7:1-5. Yet Jesus Himself says this...

Matthew 4:4 Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

So I focus on an all-encompassing, fully comprehensive teaching standard for the Bible. That's a lot to cover, but fortunately there is no limit to a number of times a young lady can take the course.

I also focus a lot on women's issues, including what you are talking about here. For example, regarding your question on how a woman should dress and about you having a smart mouth, Paul discusses both of these in the First Letter to Timothy, Second Chapter...

1 Timothy 2:9-12 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

As you can see, a young lady like yourself should forever dress modestly and earnestly, and not chase after the styles of Hollywood harlots like Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan. God specifically hates braided hair, gold, pearls, and costly jewelry because he makes special note of them.

Now, continuing just after this verse...

1 Timothy 2:10-12 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

On the other issue, you should also learn to control your mouth and force yourself to be silent. Men are your teachers, so you'd do best to be quiet and listen to what they have to say.

I hope I have helped you.

Yours in Christ,

Rev. Jim

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

I got this letter recently from an innocent child.


Dear Pastor,

I learneded in my Left Behind books and my Chick tracts that when the Rapture comes, Lord Jesus maybe reaching His hand right down out of Heaven to snatch us up so fast to Glory that He leaves our CLOTHES behind! My Momma told me that bein’ nekkid and lookin’ at other folks who is nekkid is just flat out WRONG. I understand that Jesus may be makin’ Christian folks nekkid in Heaven so He can tell ‘em apart from all the unsaved folks. But I think the unsaved folks is gonna have missing heads and body parts from when Jesus killed ‘em, so it will be easy to tell them apart.

What is really gonna happen, Pastor? When my family gets to Heaven, I don’t wanna see my grandpa nekkid! He’s gonna want to give me a great big hug, and I don’t think I’m gonna like it!

Sincerely,

Kimmy Williams (Age 11)


Dear Kimmy,

First let me say it is an absolute joy to hear testimony from a precious young lady like yourself. It makes me proud that someone at your age is already reading the Left Behind Series. If you were a student at Landover Baptist University, you wouldn’t get to that series of books until the second year of your post-graduate studies in American English Literature. That you’ve already have read them, and have a firm understanding of the iron-clad, unavoidable future that awaits all Christ-fearing folks, is a testament to the success of our home schooling program.

What amazes me is that you’ve studied the Left Behind series and referenced your supplemental Chick tracts so carefully that you’ve noticed the one tiny oversight in these gripping pre-history volumes. Yes, for while our dear brothers in Christ Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins did a wonderful job channeling God’s gloriously dramatic premeditated plans for mass genocide into those books, they chose to omit one important detail of the glorious Rapture. Specifically, that when Jesus sucks you out of your clothes into Heaven, the force of His holy vacuum will be so great that it will shear every hair from your body, every breast and nipple from your chest, and praise God, every tallywhacker and hoochie that dangles or rests between the sacred legs of every Bible believing Christian on the face of the earth. Yes! The Lord will see to it that our clothes, and our vile sex organs are the only things that get left behind. Shout Glory!

You are probably asking yourself, “Why will Jesus be removing our reproductive organs and teats before we get to Heaven?” Well, my dear lady, the answer is quite simple. In Heaven, there'll simply be no need for genitals. My guess is that the Lord is pretty disgusted after having to watch His creatures hump away on each other for the last 4,000 years. I know I’d be! Think of it this way, Jesus and His Daddy have been sitting up there in Heaven watching the longest pornographic film ever made, and frankly, they are no longer amused. So after the Rapture, they will be looking for new ways to get their kicks.

Post-Rapture, Jesus and His Daddy will be preoccupied with savagely slaughtering an ungrateful 90% of the world who didn’t give Him 10% of their paychecks, for having a lifetime of fun at the Lord’s expense. I get a big old belly laugh when I think about the horrors that await unsaved people. Why after they get over the initial shock of discovering that the millions of person-free girdles and jockey shorts lying around town aren't actually empty after all, but are in fact filled with the soggy, smelly, disembodied giblets of their former owners! I tell you, it is gonna be a real hoot to watch the expressions on their faces from our front row seats in Heaven! Oh Lordy! I am laughing out loud right now as I am writing this!

And so to answer your question – yes, you and your Grandpappy will be as naked as a pair of sphynx kittens, skipping down Main Street as soon as you get through the pearly gates! But don’t fret, dear Kimmy, for it will not be the nakedness you will have come to know during your short life. Indeed, because your grandfather’s wrinkled skin noodle will be hiding in his pleated Dickies on the floor of the Hemlock Farms rec room, waiting to surprise the first unsuspecting, unsaved person who happens upon them. And your hairless, stinky little hoo-hoo will still be clinging - like a thick strip of raw bacon - to the humid, satiny insides of the little pink panties left dangling off the seat of your Schwinn 3-speed.

That’s right – for while Heaven may be a nudist colony, all the residents look like giant walking, talking depantsed Ken and Barbie dolls – blessedly free of hairy holes and hamhocks from the waist down!

So, when you are reunited with your grandfather in Heaven, he'll ask you to sit upon his lap once again. And if you feel that familiar poke on your thigh, grandpappy will no longer by lying when he says, "That's only a roll of lifesavers down there, my dear! And it means I'm happy to see you!"

I hope that clears up any concerns you may have, little Kimmy. See you after the Rapture!

Yours in Christ,

- Pastor Ezekiel

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

Some letters (in fact most of the letters I receive) are either unprintable due to potty-mouth expressions, or else they just don't deserve a reply. Here is one of the latter.

Oh My Good Lord, I am so appalled by your website and particularly your article on Injuns!! As a born and enrolled “Injun” I will let you know that now Injuns are drunk injuns. A majority of my family are sober and I have many cousins and relatives that have never touched a drop of alcohol and besides that it is the fault of the so-called Christians that brought the good drink to our people!!! It comes to my amazement that people like you still exist in our society and spreading the word of God through Love!! The only one that can judge anybody is God! You should not condemn anybody because of who they are, what they look like, the choices that they make, or for anything of that nature. God is the only one that can judge and if you feel that strongly about Homosexuals, Negroes, Injuns, and anybody else that does not live their lives like you, you should let God take care of it. If it is truly that bad and evil, then god will take care of it. He has taught us to love our neighbors as ourselves, so you must have some insecurity about yourself to lead a church that would condemn anybody. The true Christians I know only have good things to say and do for others, they don’t condemn them. You are not a true Christian. That comes from someone who is from a people/race that was condemned by Catholics and Christians and forced to assimilate into their culture, beaten and humiliated for being human but different than them and I can still respect them because it’s not their fault they were raised to hate. We wonder why racism, sexism, discrimination of others will never go away! And you call yourself a pastor!!!

Misty Thomas

I would only point out to the squaw "Misty" and her ilk that her contention that "only God can judge us" is Biblically incorrect. So many false Christian churches have spread this lie that it has taken on the mantle of an urban legend, like the giant albino alligators that live in the sewers of New York.

The truth is, God commands those of us who are Saved(r) to judge the unsaved, and to rebuke them with all our might, every single minute of every single day until Jesus returns to Earth to send the unsaved to the bottomless lake of fire. For further information, see my sermon on the subject HERE.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

I received a letter from a goth harlot just before satan's birthday (October 31st), but I was concerned about posting it here due to it's obscene nature. Now, thanks to the recent release of the JesOS7 Operating System, I can safely offer it here for you, dear reader, in an automatically cleansed condition.

Dear Pastor Ezekiel;

HELP ME piffleING UNDERSTAND WHY YOU "GOD" BEARING ASS HOLES THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO PUT DOWN SOMEONE WHOS BE DEFILED. THOES PICTURES OF GOTHIC WOMEN ARE FROM PHOTO SHOOTS. THEY DONT DRESS LIKE THAT ON THE STREETS. HOW ABOUT YOUR LIL ANGLES SUCKING DICK IN THE BACK PEW HUH. THERE IS NO piffleING GOD JUST THE EARTH NOW BACK THE piffle UP AND READ WHAT YOUR "BIBLE" IS REALLY SAYING. YOU HAVE ALL BEEN LIED TO AND YOU NEED TO SEE THAT 2012 IS NOT THE APOCALYPSE. ITS GOING TO BE A HASHING OF LIERS. I BELIVED IN YOUR GOD ONCE. ASKED FOR A FATHER WHO WOULD LOVE ME YOU KNOW WHAT I GOT. AND ABUSIVE ASS HOLE WHO THREW ME IN TO A WALL, FOUGHT WITH MY MUM, AND ALMOST RAPED ME. AT 6 YEARS OLD. WAS I DESERVING OF THAT. NO THE piffle IM NOT. NOW I ASK THAT THAT BULL SHIT THREAD GET TAKEN DOWN BEFORE I GO OVER YOU HEAD. AND HALLOWEEN IS SIMPLY THE NIGHT THAT SPIRITS COME OUT TO PLAY. SO WATCH YOUR piffleING BACK.

--
~Genevieve~

Notice the threats she hurls at God's favorite church? She has been reported to the DOF for that, because it is a serious federal crime.

My Christian reply:

Dear Hateful Slut;

Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule of performing oral sex in pub toilets and cutting yourself to drop by God's favorite forum and spew hatred. The Holy Bible says that we are actually Blessed by your persecution. Shout Glory!!

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I will enjoy watching you burn for all eternity.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

Today, I am sorry to report, this wad of unsaved filth has seen fit to spew even more hatred at Jesus and at me personally.

Question. How did you get your job? I dont cut my self one. Thats for pathetic whips. I am a whore, so what. there is no hell to burn in seeing we all know that its doors were closed buddy. How i dress has nothing to do with how i live my life. i am a mother of a 5 year old and do my damnest every day to keep him healthy and safe. Because i choose to dress in black at times does not mean i worship something that only you blind idiots belive in. One should not have to belive in how they got here. you should just know. how long did it take your mommy to spoon feed you what you belive. i dont belive in ANYTHING because "believing" is nothing but a way to cope with death. i KNOW that im here and that i have a family to raise. how i dress is not how i am. You are a bad name to the Christian culture. You boy are not a christian, you only think you are. anyone can memorize the bible (if they really have nothing else more intresting to do that is.)

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

A recent email from an angry squaw. Who knew the redskins had electricity on their reservations, much less computers?

without us natives you white trash disease carring fools would not exist today, so go back to europe and stay there with your familys i hope a bunch a muslims go into your church and blow you racsist bastards all to hell. so fuck you ang your god i hate all you white trash bastards .and your god.
you racsist red necks i hope those musllums kill all your chirldren right in front of you white trash chickensukers death to all pastorlandoverbaptists i hope they kill all your children burn them all to death so fuck you you white trash scum

indian power we will win and destroy the white racsists. kill em all woman and children first

peacetreatygal@---

Can anyone doubt that the injun is a savage, incapable of comprehending Christ's love? They would even side with the mudslime terrorists over God's favorite country (AMERICA!)!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

Here's a letter I received today via email.

Dear Pastor Ezekiel;

I'm writing in response to the 'hoodie' article posted on your website. That is the biggest load of judgmental hooey I have ever read! I wear a black My Chemical Romance hoodie every single day. I also happen to be a functioning member of society who goes to work five days a week and raises an eleven year old daughter. As for My Chem being a suicide cult, perhaps you should do some factchecking, or even try listening to some of their songs. That band is actually known for inspiring people to live, and a few of their songs are the closest thing to a hymn I've heard in some time. So in closing, be sure and remember, Jesus didn't judge. You have no right to either. I appreciate your time in reading this, and hope you learn to forge your opinions through personal experience, as opposed to someones' tired witch hunt.

--Jasmyn Dawn Widen

Dear Jasmyn;

Speaking of hooey, I wonder if you've ever read the Holy Bible. Jesus didn't judge?

John 5:22
For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment unto the Son.

John 5:26-27
The Father ... hath given him authority to execute judgment.

John 9:39
And Jesus said, For judgment I am come into this world.

2 Corinthians 5:10
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ.

Revelation 19:11
And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.

And you claim that we shouldn't judge? Is that what God tells us in His Holy Word?

Leviticus 19:15
In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

1 Corinthians 2:15
But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.

1 Corinthians 5:12-13
For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

1 Corinthians 6:2-3
Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?

1 Tim 5:20 Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

Oh, and there's one more Bible verse I'd like to share with you little miss.

I will punish ... all such as are clothed with strange apparel. -- Zephaniah 1:8

I think it's clear that you have no credibility here young lady. Next time satan tells you to write a letter to a True Christian(tm) Pastor, have him give you some Scriptural background before you make an even bigger fool out of yourself, OK?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

I received a letter this weekend from a confused young man who has apparently been fed misinformation from a so-called "pastor" at his local church.

Dear Rev. Osborne,

My name is Reggie and I attend a church called Mill Creek Evangelical Church. During a recent sermon my pastor said that we as Christians are always sinning and need God's forgivness [sic] all the time. He doesnt [sic] say we should go to priests but we need to be praying to God all the time to forgive us. I guess he is right because we Christians aren't perfect just forgiven like the bumper sticker says. But a Baptist friend of mine said me and my pastor are wrong and that Christians don't sin! How can we not sin are we not human?

Thank you for your help,

Reggie Furman

Well, Reggie, it just so happens your Baptist friend is right and I advise you to break off all ties with this phony-baloney "church" as soon as possible! Obviously your pastor has never even read a Bible and he has quite the audacity to preach something he knows nothing about!

First off, we know once we are Saved® by Jesus Christ, all our sins are forgiven...

1st John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Revelation 1:5 And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,

Now, with those three simple verses from the Bible (and there are plenty more, but I just pointed out the most relevant), we can see that Christ washes away all our sins. Therefore anything you did in the past prior to being Saved® is essentially erased. We are cleansed of sin.

So this now leads us to the second part. Now that we are free of sin and Christians, can we still sin? The answer is basically no, but it's more complex than that. If you are a True Christian™, you live by Christ and will not sin.

1st John 3:6 Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.
1st John 3:7 Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous.
1st John 3:8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.
1st John 3:9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

If we abide in Christ, we do not sin. We cannot sin because we abide in Christ. We are True Christians™ and follow the Bible completely, and by doing so, it makes us impossible to sin. Only by disobeying with God can we sin. This is not about being human or being perfect, it's simply about obeying what God wants out of us. It is neither superhuman or impossible.

You must remember that sinning is a choice. It is a choice to willfully disobey God and seperate yourself from Him. A True Christian™, by definition, does not do that and therefore does not sin.

If you do not abide in Christ, and you sin, the Bible tells what will happen to you...

John 15:6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.

Jesus says you'll burn in Hell plain and simple.

Your pastor is spreading lies about God. A True Christian™ cannot sin and will not sin. Only False Christians sin. You need to get yourself out of that cult immediately and perhaps join the church your good Baptist friend goes to since he knows what he is talking about.

Yours in Christ,

Rev. Jim Osborne

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

Today, I'd like to offer a contrast in sins for you all to consider. I got the following two letters recently, and I wonder if you can tell me which writer is hellbound.


The first is from a man who honestly identifies himself as an atheist. His letter is full of the usual hatred and blasphemy. I suppose he giggled to himself while he composed this letter, imagining how upset and angry it would make me. (Sorry to disappoint Mr. Darwinista, but we pastors get letters like this by the bucketful every day. This ain't my first rodeo.)

You are the most ignorant person on the planet. God does not exist. Jesus was not reborn, he just pasted out from blood lost, and you are gonna die thinking the dumbest shit in the world.
I hope you and your stupid church enjoy your rotting in the ground!

- With Good Intentions
An Atheist. =D

Now please read this letter. It was thoughtfully composed by a young man who identifies himself as a Christian, and who wants to share his testimony on renewing his faith in God. It's a bit long, but worth a read.

Dear Pastor Ezekiel,

I know God is real because he spoke and acted for my salvation

Short Version:
God said to me,"Good News", and soon after I received a Good News bible.


Full experience:

I was down Pittsburgh, finishing up a day of work at Carnegie Mellon as I
was working as a computer consultant for the Career Center. It was a pretty
cool job. I'd write some software, modify hardware, or just do some light work
such as deliver mail. I felt pretty much complete, after having a long hard
time in school. To finally be working was a great feeling. I decided to go out
for Sushi. At the Sushi place, I was seated in front of an aquarium where a
single fish swam. I thought on the situation that there was a specimen of
beauty in front of me, yet I'm going to be eating fish soon. There was music
playing which I think was Japanese. I finished my food and tipped the waitress.

Before I left, I wished a Bob Marley song would play. The next song on the
radio was a Bob Marley song. I thought that was pretty cool. So I left, and was walking back to work to check in and see if anyone needed anything.

While I was walking over a bridge, I heard God say to me,"Good News". It was like a whisper, but it came with authority. I had to understand what it meant. I felt compelled to go straight to my car and drive. When I was driving I felt as if I should go toward home, and while I was driving, I felt unable to turn my eyes to look at billboards or be distracted from the road. I had an effect similar to tunnel vision where everything but what was necessary for driving was being filtered out.

Eventually I passed my old church that I went to when
I was young, but haven't for several years. My dad was there doing maintenance on the graveyard. I felt this is where I needed to go. I stepped inside the church and my dad and I talked. We held hands while talking and our arms were trembling. I don't think I mentioned being told the,"Good News". He went upstairs and brought down a Good News bible for me.

Read the Bible especially the New Testament.

Fools say,"Because bad things happen on Earth, God cannot be real."
This is a foolish saying because the Earth needs to exist for evil to be
convicted and sinners redeemed. If evil was never allowed to act, it could
never be convicted. If evil is never convicted, it can't be separated from
good. If evil is not separated from good, Eternity cannot be peaceful. God is
smart, he knows a lifetime of suffering on Earth is tolerable if it results in
eternal life without suffering. Jesus even took part in suffering and dying
on Earth so he could save us.

If you still have time to read on, I'll explain how you can discern the
bible as truth. The bible has prophesy. No person or belief system has predicted the future like the bible has, they have all proven to be genuines.

A) In 700BC the prophet Isaiah predicted the rebuilding of the temple in
Jerusalem by Cyrus. Isaiah 44:28 At the time, the temple was not even
destroyed. Later the temple is destroyed,and over a hundred years later it was ordered to be rebuilt. The man who decrees the temple to rebuilt is Cyrus the Persian.

B) Isaiah also predicted Jesus Christ. Read Isaiah 53. It details Jesus' life quite directly. "We despised him and rejected him; he endured suffering and pain. No one would even look at him- we ignored him as if he were nothing.

But he endured the suffering that should have been ours, the pain that we
should have borne. All the while we thought that his suffering was punishment
sent by God. But because of our sins he was wounded, beaten because of the evil we did. We are healed by the punishment he suffered, made whole by the blows he received. All of were like sheep that were lost, watch of us going his own way. But the Lord made the punishment fall on him, the punishment all of us deserved. He was treated harshly, but endured it humbly; he never said a word. Like a lamb about to be slaughtered, like a sheep about to be sheared, he never said a word. He was arrested and sentenced and led off to die, and no one cared about his fate. He was put to death for the sins of our people. He was placed in a grave with evil men, he was buried with the rich, even though he had never committed a crime or ever told a lie." The Lord says,"It was my will that he should suffer; his death was a sacrifice to bring forgiveness. And so he will see his descendants; he will live a long life, and through him my purpose will succeed. After a life of suffering, he will again have joy; he will know that he did not suffer in vain. My devoted servant, with whom I am pleased, will bear the punishment of many and for his sake I will forgive them. And so I will give him a place of honor, a place among great and powerful men. He willingly gave his life and shared the fate of evil men. He took the place of many sinners and prayed that they might be forgiven."

Seven hundred years before Jesus, his life was predicted by Isaiah speaking
as instructed by God.

Now these aren't the only prophesy that exist in the bible. There are over
a thousand predictions in the bible. All predictions come true.

Notice how I am not trying to sell you anything or scam you. This is
legit.

Have a Merry Christmas

--Jim Saget

Now then, which one of these authors is hell bound? Did you pick the atheist? Well of course you'd be correct, because the Bible tells us that atheists are nothing but dangerous fools.

Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

But what would you say if I told you that the self-proclaimed Christian is just as hell bound as the atheist? Take a look at his testimony again:

--He enjoys the blasphemous jungle music of Bob Marely, a dead nigra dope addict who is currently being tortured in hell.

--He seems to imagine that God is in the business of performing magic tricks as a means of convincing us to worship Him. Nothing could be further from the truth.

--Worst of all, he puts all of his faith in the "Good News" Bible, which has long ago been exposed as a false Bible.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, I'm here today to tell you all to beware of a wolf in sheep's clothing. Any Christian can recognize the wolf (atheist), but how many of you can recognize the false Christian, who whispers sweet nothings in your ear about Jesus (but misses the main thrust of God's Will)? I put it to you that the false Christian is the most dangerous person you'll meet! No True Christian™ can be taken in by an atheist urging us to worship Charles Darwin instead of Jesus, but MANY are taken in by false Christians, who sugar-coat everything, who cherry pick the Word of God to make it seem more palatable to the human ego.

Both of these letter-writers are in fact, fools. But Jim Saget will trick you into doing satan's work 100 times faster than any atheist ever could. BEWARE!!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

I got this letter yesterday from a concerned young Baptist man from Atlanta, GA. Fortunately, I am able to solve his problem with a little Scripture.

Dear Rev. Osborne,

I really need your help. I need some advice on how to convert my God-mocking college roommate. Now, I know Corinthians warns us about being yoked with non-believers, but the college refuses to assign me to another room so I'm stuck with him.

I thought I would make the best of this situation by actively preaching to him and bringing him to Christ. He's truly a lost soul! He listens to death metal, smokes pot everyday, has disgusting fornication in my room when I'm not there, and all these other vile sins. Last Halloween he went to a Halloween party (I know Halloween is Satanic so I don't celebrate it by any stretch) with his two friends. They were dressed as God and Jesus, and he dressed as the Holy Spirit. He made this dove costume and it looked ridiculous.

He has tried to tempt me many times, but I am a steadfast follower of the Lord and I did not give in. He refuses to listen to my Bible quotes and scoffs at me. What can I do to persuade him? Thank you so much.

Sincerely,

Matt B.

I replied,

Dear Matt,

Don't even waste your time trying to convert him. He has permanently damned himself to Hell and even if he were to accept Christ as Savior, and never sin again, he is still going to Hell.

His death sentence is he broke the commandment of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Jesus tells us that that is the unforgivable sin.

Mark 3:28 Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme:
Mark 3:29 But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation:

So you see, his fate is sealed. Hopefully you won't waste your time trying to save a lost cause. Also, this is what you get when you go to a secular university. Be very vigilant because the atheist agenda and homosexual agenda seeks to brainwash young college students to their hordes.

YIC,

Rev. Jim Osborne

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

Sorry I've neglected this thread lately, but I just can't seem to find the time in the day to do everything the Lord puts on my plate. That, plus my 14 year old Indonesian houseboy has been especially lazy and insolent since I took away his toilet privileges....

Anyway, here's one I got this morning. Be sure and click on the link for some crazy false Christian hilarity.

From: "thomas sprague" <********@yahoo.com>

To: PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net

Hi Pastor, if you get time, I would appreciate you reading my testimony, and giving me your thoughts on it. I sent it in to "Unshackled," and they declined to use it, stating--"your demon activity occurred after you claimed faith in Christ!" My testimony is true, and I had no control over the timing of it all. Anyway, I would appreciate your thoughts! You can read it at www.israellights.com

Blessings in Christ,
Tom

He reveals mysteries from the darkness, and brings the deep darkness into light-Job 12:22

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

The following message was sent to you via the The Landover Baptist Church Forums Contact Us form by Atheist9416 ( mailto:********@gmail.com ).

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I can't believe how fucked up you people are, forcing religion, racism and gay bashing? I hope you all get what you deserve in the end, you know, a few decades from now? When you all DIE.


Remove me from your database or whatever it is you hate mongering people use, I no longer wish to see this hate.

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Referring Page: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/usercp.php

Dear Hatemonger;

I'm sorry, but it is our policy NEVER to remove the account of an unsaved fool. Your belligerent hatemongering will remain for future unsaved scum to see and learn from for all eternity (or until Jesus returns to slay most of the earth, whichever comes first).

Jesus called you here for a reason, so you might rethink your selfish tantrum and stick around.

If you'd really like to remove yourself from our Godly forum, all you need to do is to click on that tiny red "x" in the upper righthand corner of your computer screen. Then close your computer, stand up, and walk away.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[James Hutchins]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

Pastor, would it be possible to hide the potty mouth words in case a member of the fairer gender sees it? Last thing I want to deal with is find
.................................................. .......... drunk
Mrs. Hutchins out cold on the floor like a dead ^ nigra.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ask a True Christian™ Pastor

The following message was sent to you via the The Landover Baptist Church Forums Contact Us form by Sithlady

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http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=17475 ,this article makes me feeling very frustrated. Goths are humans like everyone else, exept chavs. I think, that you should not judge, how someone looks like, but what he or she does to others. Chavs and chavgirls think, that listening to trance and doing drugs makes them better than anyone else. There are many antichav forums in the world, go and enjoy this forum www.antichav.com/

Dear Gothtard Slut;

I am sorry to inform you that goths are the scum of the earth and beyond redemption. Please remember that when you cut yourself, it's down the tracks, not across.

YIC,



--Pastor Ezekiel