Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

[Wash O'Hanley]

"The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistably attractive to one another," Hammond said after reviewing the documents.

http://cbs5.com/topstories/local_story_159222541.html

Finally we are getting some reasonable, non-liberal proposals on finishing off this glorious war on terror. It is obvious that violence against insurgents is only feeding them and making them stronger and attempted to hunt all of them down individually is like trying to get rid of an ant problem with a needle. What we need and needed in the first place is decisive and intellegent(ly designed) combat strategies like this one. Now I'm not scientist and neither are the True Christians(TM) that are developing this Godly warfare technology but the thought of raining homosexuality down on these terrorists can have no down side- the logic behind it is flawless. Think about it; the gas or poison or whatever that is inside it turns the enemies all gay so that they become so attracted to each other that they begin engaging in acts of sodomy rather than defending themselves as Christian Soldiers come in and obliterate them. The only down side to this is that we would also have to invent robot soldiers to go in and destroy them as no Christian Soldier should even be submitted to the sight of an Iraqi homo-orgy (lets just say their Dirty Sanchez's are the dirtiest).

I think I speak on behalf of the entire Landover Community when I shout praise at the Ohio Air Force for their forward thinking in winning the War on Terror.

[Talitha]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

PRAISE Ohio for this one Brother Wash.

Maybe if some of our highly trained True Christian™ Eunuchs were sent over to Iraqistan with really big Guns they could finish the job for us.



Having one eye closed and one eye looking through a heat seeking viewfinder the job could be real easy?

Just a suggestion from a Caring True Christian™ Lady.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

Excellent work once again Brother Wash. Although your piece was a bit long, I got the jist of it. I shouldn't think that it would take much to turn those sand nigras queer. I mean they already love fornication with goats and camels, so they're half way home already. But here's my worry: What if the plan is successful, all the terrorists turn queer, surrender, apply for U.S. Citizenship, then register as demoncrats (as queers are well-known to do)?

I have to say I like Dick Cheney's "Just use that damned red button and turn Iraq into a sheet of glass. The boys is Saudi Arabia have given the green light, so push the damned button George, or I'll push it for ya!" solution. Praise Jesus!!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

GLORY! This is the kind of “out of the box” thinking that comes from combing faith with science like Jesus intends. Not to mention it should be easy and cheep to drive Christ’s enemies into depraved fornicators since they are half way there already. I’d say give them a double dose and let them homer each other to death and solve the problem that way.

This is the kind of weapon the War of Terror needs. The fear this device would create alone would be worth it. The enemy would be shaking in their boots at the thought of one whiff of Uncle Sam’s Gay Bomb turning them into limp wrested sissies. Everyone knows homers can’t fight.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

I thought the Taliban and the gay "rights" crowd were pretty much the same anyway, so how would dropping the gay bomb on them make anything any different?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

http://cbs5.com/topstories/local_story_159222541.html

Finally we are getting some reasonable, non-liberal proposals on finishing off this glorious war on terror. It is obvious that violence against insurgents is only feeding them and making them stronger and attempted to hunt all of them down individually is like trying to get rid of an ant problem with a needle. What we need and needed in the first place is decisive and intellegent(ly designed) combat strategies like this one. Now I'm not scientist and neither are the True Christians(TM) that are developing this Godly warfare technology but the thought of raining homosexuality down on these terrorists can have no down side- the logic behind it is flawless. Think about it; the gas or poison or whatever that is inside it turns the enemies all gay so that they become so attracted to each other that they begin engaging in acts of sodomy rather than defending themselves as Christian Soldiers come in and obliterate them. The only down side to this is that we would also have to invent robot soldiers to go in and destroy them as no Christian Soldier should even be submitted to the sight of an Iraqi homo-orgy (lets just say their Dirty Sanchez's are the dirtiest).

I think I speak on behalf of the entire Landover Community when I shout praise at the Ohio Air Force for their forward thinking in winning the War on Terror.

Yet another waste of military funding - just like the ashtrays for fighter planes and $5000 toilet seats.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

Yet another waste of military funding - just like the ashtrays for fighter planes and $5000 toilet seats.

Idiot. Those were funding for a project to tap a Soviet phone cable at the bottom of the Sea Okhotsk using the USS Halibut. People don't exactly advertise things that might be considered an act of war in their budgets.

http://www.historyhouse.com/in_history/sub_wiretap/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Ivy_Bells

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

Idiot. Those were funding for a project to tap a Soviet phone cable at the bottom of the Sea Okhotsk using the USS Halibut. People don't exactly advertise things that might be considered an act of war in their budgets.

http://www.historyhouse.com/in_history/sub_wiretap/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Ivy_Bells

Don't you think that those of us who pay the taxes that fund such projects have a right to know how our money is being spent, especially if it's being spent doing something that could result in a war?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

Don't you think that those of us who pay the taxes that fund such projects have a right to know how our money is being spent, especially if it's being spent doing something that could result in a war?

Friend, why do you hate freedom?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

Friend, why do you hate freedom?

I don't hate freedom. I hate it when my government officials are disingenuous about things that affect my freedom.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

I don't hate freedom. I hate it when my government officials are disingenuous about things that affect my freedom.

The word you're looking for there is "protect", not "affect".

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

The word you're looking for there is "protect", not "affect".

No, it isn't. I used exactly the word I meant.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

No, it isn't. I used exactly the word I meant.

How can they protect your freedom if they spend all there time blabbing about like two Russian colonels nattering about their favorite vodka or how much hair a woman should show under her babushka before it is racy? No, they need to be out there getting results.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

How can they protect your freedom if they spend all there time blabbing about like two Russian colonels nattering about their favorite vodka or how much hair a woman should show under her babushka before it is racy? No, they need to be out there getting results.

If they are spending money that I worked for, then I have a right to know exactly what they are doing with it.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gay Bomb

If they are spending money that I worked for, then I have a right to know exactly what they are doing with it.

To the point of inviting a nuclear attack?