Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I can't get into details, but things have been busy around here with the entire Whitford organization working to defend this great nation against the evil of socialized health "care" and the coming death panels, then I spent all of yesterday after church praying for God to smite Hellyweird during their annual celebration of anti-American liberal propaganda aimed at bringing down America.
Then there's the fact that all that silly political stuff is left in the capable hands of my husband, Mr. Whitford, so I don't need to follow things like the mayoral campaign (thankfully there are NO political struggles in the Ladies of Landover).
So you can imagine my surprise when it appears that a shoeshine boy is running for office!



I knew this would happen when that Kenyan broke into the Oval Office and has refused to leave since! People let B. Hussein Obama play at being "president" when everyone knows he's not legally qualified, then all of a sudden bucks all over the U.S.A. start getting uppity and feeling like they can hold whatever political office they want!
Now this boy here, I'm sure I've seen him at a shoeshine stand. Maybe he was doing a tap dancing show somewhere. Really, they just all look alike. That could be "Comrade Obama der Fuhrer" in that picture for all I know! Is he even a legal resident of our town? I demand PROOF that this boy is a LEGAL RESIDENT of Freehold! I demand to see an ACTUAL deed to a house and at least six months worth of utilities bills!
Where is this proof, boy? Where is the evidence that proves you are a legal resident of Freehold?!?

[Nobar King]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

I knew this would happen when that Kenyan broke into the Oval Office and has refused to leave since! People let B. Hussein Obama play at being "president" when everyone knows he's not legally qualified, then all of a sudden bucks all over the U.S.A. start getting uppity and feeling like they can hold whatever political office they want!

I know what you mean, sister! Now that Obama is president, you can't tell those people what to do, anymore. I truly dread what will happen to this country if a woman is ever elected president.

I know that no nigra will ever become mayor of Freehold, but even just thinking about it is enough to make one cringe.

The first thing that would happen is that he'd declare the local graffiti to be a protected art form and have the graffiti painting removal team fired. Is that what you people want?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

Amen, sister!

I DEMAND TO SEE THE CERTIFICATE!

[C. Reconstruction]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

Amen, sister!

I DEMAND TO SEE THE CERTIFICATE!

His white "wife" is allegedly a lawyer. She will probably forge something.

Join the C. Reconstruction group for a God centered future!

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

Oh, get a grip. Mr. King has been living here for a while now. It's not his fault that you all were so focused on Icelandic matters that you didn't notice what was happening right under your nose in Freehold.

I'm sure he will gladly show his certificate. Of course, Mould needs to do the same, I heard that he is rather a newcomer here as well.

And you may not realize it, but the opposition against your theocratic rule in this town has grown exponentially since the annexations in the Des Moines area, and since you imported manservants to work at your ever-increasing property of real estate. They get to vote as well. Combine this with the people who went to the LBC since they were young but came to their senses at some point in their lives, and I think mr. King will completely demolish Mould at the coming elections.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

I'm sure he will gladly show his certificate.

I want to see the actual ORIGINAL documents, not some xeroxes or abridged versions! Why is this boy refusing to produce the original documents?!?

...since you imported manservants to work at your ever-increasing property of real estate. They get to vote as well.

Nonsense! My husband, Mr. Whitford, insists that all our servants live outside of Freehold's municipal limits! He has a good head for property values, and works diligently to ensure that our estate maintains its value in case the Lord decides to hold off on the Rapture for a while!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

And you may not realize it, but the opposition against your theocratic rule in this town has grown exponentially since the annexations in the Des Moines area, and since you imported manservants to work at your ever-increasing property of real estate. They get to vote as well.

Mine aren't even Americans.

Take my 14 year old Indonesian houseboy for example. He doesn't know what voting is, and I like it that way.

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

I want to see the actual ORIGINAL documents, not some xeroxes or abridged versions! Why is this boy refusing to produce the original documents?!?

He isn't refusing that, he probably hasn't read this yet. He is really busy with his campaign right now, and probably has no time to read the tantrums of hysterical women.

Nonsense! My husband, Mr. Whitford, insists that all our servants live outside of Freehold's municipal limits!

They originally were, of course. But as I said, their homes now lie in the Freehold area, since the annexations. They are Freehold citizens now, whether you like it or not.

[Alfred King]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

So you can imagine my surprise when it appears that a shoeshine boy is running for office!

You are one of the examples of why CHANGE is needed in Freehold. It's 2010, not 1619.

Where is this proof, boy? Where is the evidence that proves you are a legal resident of Freehold?!?

Since the requirements and the way they are verified are clearly not legal I have taken up this matter with the Supreme Court of Iowa a little while ago. They have officially certified me to be fully qualified to run for Mayor of Freehold. If you disagree with their conclusion you can of course file a formal complaint. They already have a huge dossier on Freehold though, so I highly doubt you will succeed at that.

Also they have promised that they will sent a special election supervisor who will assure the elections are secure, accurate voter registration files are maintained, voters are properly educated on the election and that voter participation is actively encouraged.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

They originally were, of course. But as I said, their homes now lie in the Freehold area, since the annexations. They are Freehold citizens now, whether you like it or not.

You underestimate us, feminazi. Trailers have wheels, and our servants lodging facilities are always outside of the Freehold municipal boundaries.

Since the requirements and the way they are verified are clearly not legal I have taken up this matter with the Supreme Court of Iowa a little while ago. They have officially certified me to be fully qualified to run for Mayor of Freehold. If you disagree with their conclusion you can of course file a formal complaint. They already have a huge dossier on Freehold though, so I highly doubt you will succeed at that.

Also they have promised that they will sent a special election supervisor who will assure the elections are secure, accurate voter registration files are maintained, voters are properly educated on the election and that voter participation is actively encouraged.

So in other words, you refuse to provide the documentation required to prove you are a resident of Freehold! I don't care which ACORN lackey you get to back up your tall tale, I demand to see those documents!

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

Ever since the young people in this country thought it was "cool" to elect Flavor Flav to the White House, everything has gone downhill. I want my country back!!!

[Alfred King]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

I don't care which ACORN lackey you get to back up your tall tale

You will have to take this up with the Supreme Court of Iowa.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

You will have to take this up with the Supreme Court of Iowa.

This matter could take YEARS to clear up in court, well after the election is over.. From what I have heard our team of Joos are on the job filing requests as we speak ( no matter how lame they are) !

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

You will have to take this up with the Supreme Court of Iowa.

Rest assured, Justices Wiggins and Streit will be getting phone calls. I will also be passing on your refusal to provide the documentation to Wash O'Hanley to address on his radio show!

[Samuel Coleridge]

Re: Is a shoeshine boy actually running for mayor?

I will also be passing on your refusal to provide the documentation to Wash O'Hanley to address on his radio show!

If you could find him not passed out in a pile of his own vomit and urine, I'm sure he would be interested in something like that.