Where are our Grandchildren?

[James Dewitt]

Brother Enoch, The kids have been married for the best part of 6 weeks, whats the hold up? We are not getting any younger. It is the girl or is it my idiot son, the boy gets distracted easy.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

In my experience it usually takes at least 9 months before that happens.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Cranky I know how long it takes to cook the baby in the oven, I want to know why the oven is not turned on! That takes all of two minutes. Is supervision needed, a book with pictures?

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Cranky I know how long it takes to cook the baby in the oven, I want to know why the oven is not turned on! That takes all of two minutes. Is supervision needed, a book with pictures?

If you need books, I can help! When I ceased my self fornication, I had my father lock them in his safe.

I had the filthy things all in a pile behind the trailer ready to strike a road flare and send this Satanic material back to hell, when my father said "Hold on!"

Turns out, they are of significant value to "collectors", so we locked them away to let them appreciate more and then sell them and donate the proceeds to LBC.

But if you need them to spur on this young couple, let me know! There is virtually no act between two (or often ten) human beings not graphically illustrated in great detail.

Yours in Christ!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

a book with pictures?

Books with pictures are for gays. All you need is in the Holy Bible. Some crazy Russian lady is collecting it all here.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Books with pictures are for gays. All you need is in the Holy Bible. Some crazy Russian lady is collecting it all here.

Well I know the Song of Solomon always gets me in the mood. Perhaps the Bible on tape?

[Sam Diamond]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Cranky I know how long it takes to cook the baby in the oven, I want to know why the oven is not turned on! That takes all of two minutes. Is supervision needed, a book with pictures?

Having attended the wedding of your son and Brother Enoch's daughter, a book is far to complicated. I suggest that Brother Enoch and his wife have a long detailed talk with the two half wits. Given your sons past obsession with masturbation and oral sex, he might not as of yet have a clear understanding just what he is to do with his man parts. And his young bride is NOT the sharpest knife in the kitchen.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Having attended the wedding of your son and Brother Enoch's daughter, a book is far to complicated. I suggest that Brother Enoch and his wife have a long detailed talk with the two half wits. Given your sons past obsession with masturbation and oral sex, he might not as of yet have a clear understanding just what he is to do with his man parts. And his young bride is NOT the sharpest knife in the kitchen.

Considering the above description are you sure you want them to produce children Mr Dewitt?

[Lisa H]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Does your son need a stern lecturing on what to do. I hope he is not wasting his seed like the cathlicks do with their rhythm method. I will pray to the Lord to bring you many grand children.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Considering the above description are you sure you want them to produce children Mr Dewitt?

Don't concern your self Mr Mirate. The boy and the girls mothers both hit the booze bottle when they where still in the baby oven. Their children have a very good chance of being some what normal. Both of the kids are good Christians and Jesus will look after them.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

James, I'm at a loss. This is my daughter we're talking about, so it's a bit difficult to explain to your boy what he's supposed to do to my daughter. I'm sure you can understand.

Now, my daughter has been complaining daily to my wife about how bruised her bellybutton is becoming. This leads me to believe something isn't being done correctly.

Unfortunately my Eskimo wife barely understands English, while my children don't speak any Eskimo at all (figured I'd nip that one in the bud years ago, and didn't permit the wife to teach them that heathen talk).

So, I'm stuck. Your boy seems happy though, I guess it's working for him.

Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. Maybe a videotape? I've never been in one of those type of stores though.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

Brothers I think this book might help as it is 3d and your children might get a better idea that way, Maybe flat pictures confuse them.

http://www.amazon.com/Pop-up-Book-Sex-Melcher-Media/dp/0061129747/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1278209042&sr=1-1

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The Pop-up Book of Sex [Hardcover]


Editorial Reviews

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[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

James, I'm at a loss. This is my daughter we're talking about, so it's a bit difficult to explain to your boy what he's supposed to do to my daughter. I'm sure you can understand.

Now, my daughter has been complaining daily to my wife about how bruised her bellybutton is becoming. This leads me to believe something isn't being done correctly.

Unfortunately my Eskimo wife barely understands English, while my children don't speak any Eskimo at all (figured I'd nip that one in the bud years ago, and didn't permit the wife to teach them that heathen talk).

So, I'm stuck. Your boy seems happy though, I guess it's working for him.

Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. Maybe a videotape? I've never been in one of those type of stores though.

I will be a son of a b*$&#, if his mother where still living around I would punch her in the mouth. There ain't no way that kid can be from my loins. I am catching a flight next week to explain in detail what my moron son should be doing. If i don't have enough on my plate as it is already. I have the stoning festival, a wedding and I am helping Sister BIG build a house. Now I have to fly to Canada to explain to my idiot son how o make a baby.
Jesus can you cut me some slack here,I go to church every day, I tithe 50% of my income can you help a brother out? Jesus I pray send a angel to help my moron son make a baby.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

I will pray for that James. It seems you weren't exaggerating when calling him an idiot. My own sons suddenly seem a lot smarter.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Where are our Grandchildren?

I will pray for that James. It seems you weren't exaggerating when calling him an idiot. My own sons suddenly seem a lot smarter.

I am at a loss for words, do I have to do everything myself?