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Old 10-24-2007, 03:58 PM
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Default Are Midgets Evil Demons?

I'm not having a very good day so far.

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car ... and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny?

Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF!

He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"

...and that's when the fist fight started.... It took me a few tries, but I finally beat that little evil demon down with my KJV1611 Bible.

Are ALL s'midgets demons?
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Old 10-24-2007, 04:16 PM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

I'm sure many of them are.

All of them have been cursed by God, and that's why they can't be allowed in church and they can't get saved (Lev 21:17-21). It doesn't surprise me that they rebel against God and turn aside after Satan. I'm certain that many of them willingly invite demons to live inside of them.

Pastor Billy-Reuben
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Old 10-24-2007, 04:27 PM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

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Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
I'm certain that many of them willingly invite demons to live inside of them.
Yeah, midgets and demons have a strong kinship with eachother:
As they are both shunned and cast out by all decent folk, they tend to stick together.

And since midgets are less in all aspects (except evil) than normal people, they can't succeed in life. UNLESS they have the aid of demons.
Demons gladly help their little brothers out, as doing so will make easily-deceived people doubt that midgets are truly cursed by God..
And thus those fools may start doubting the Word of God.

Quite a diabolical plot, but we see right through it.
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Old 10-24-2007, 09:34 PM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

I hear that midgets are really Vampires in 'daywalker' guise, and that theyregain their full size when the sun goes down, sort of like adding water to a dehydrated meal, only instead of water it's human blood!
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The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
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Old 10-24-2007, 09:49 PM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

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Originally Posted by Brother Guy View Post
I hear that midgets are really Vampires in 'daywalker' guise, and that theyregain their full size when the sun goes down, sort of like adding water to a dehydrated meal, only instead of water it's human blood!

Think about it - when was the last time you saw a midgets reflection? Or a midget eating garlic? these facts can't be ignored...just because they don't sleep in coffins doesn't mean they can't use the bureau drawer... if you don't believe me, load up a water pistol with Holy water and squirt one in the face and see what results..I can guarantee the little blood sucker won't be happy about it... the one i sprayed sure wasn't and he tried to bite me! If it wasn't for my Rottweiler "Goebbels" , the little demon may well have sucked me dry. As it was, Goebbels tasted some blood of his own before some nosey parkers pulled them apart. God I laughed at the sight of his raggedy little midget body being wheeled into that huge Ambulance. What a waste of resources. I told them to put an extra lock on their Blood supplies coolroom, in case he (it) regained consciousness but do you think they thanked me for the advice? Not a chance.
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The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:04 PM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

Midgets are demons that have not found a body to inhabit.

Also, it is well known that The Lollipop Guild is perhaps the most evil and dangerous organization in the Western world.
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:09 PM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

Well, wherever you stand on the "midget question", one thing's for sure: if midgets and negro basketball players ever teamed up to wage an unholy war against normal decent people, it'd make Al-Qaeda look like a bunch of Frenchmen having a tea party and tickling each other with daisies.
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Old 10-25-2007, 08:15 PM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Well, wherever you stand on the "midget question", one thing's for sure: if midgets and negro basketball players ever teamed up to wage an unholy war against normal decent people, it'd make Al-Qaeda look like a bunch of Frenchmen having a tea party and tickling each other with daisies.

Oh my GOD Brother! That would be terrifying! Can you imagine a little midget demon nipping at your ankles and hurling his balls at you!

I mean it was bad enough yesterday to have that little demon beating on my kneecaps......


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Old 11-11-2007, 04:55 AM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

To find out if a creature is possessed by a demon, simply place it in a sack with some large rocks and throw it in a deep body of water. If it rises to the top, it is clean. If it sinks to the bottom and stays there, you got yourself a sack full of Satan. Problem solved. This is how I found out that ferrets, Mexican babies, and mutes are of the devil.
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Old 11-11-2007, 05:49 AM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

And this is Landover Bigot Church's View from the Glass House for today...
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Old 11-11-2007, 05:53 AM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

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Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
And this is Landover Bigot Church's View from the Glass House for today...
Speaking of glass houses, you ring-kissing, dress-wearing, bead-counting, idol-bowing, mary-worshiping, boy-buggering catlicker cultists had better lay low. Jesus hates you, papist dog.
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Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 11-11-2007, 06:30 AM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

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Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Are ALL s'midgets demons?
That crazy f*ck, Mel Gibson, seems to think so.
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Old 11-11-2007, 08:43 AM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_love_me_pussy! View Post
To find out if a creature is possessed by a demon, simply place it in a sack with some large rocks and throw it in a deep body of water. If it rises to the top, it is clean. If it sinks to the bottom and stays there, you got yourself a sack full of Satan. Problem solved. This is how I found out that ferrets, Mexican babies, and mutes are of the devil.
You are very wise Sister Pussy!

GLORY!
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  #14  
Old 11-11-2007, 10:51 AM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
That crazy f*ck, Mel Gibson, seems to think so.
What? Are Jews midgets now?
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #15  
Old 10-21-2008, 02:52 AM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

people with deformities are born that way
how can God punish them while they are being concieved?
i have met deformitized/disabled people that are extremely nice
and refering to the first post: it is extremely insensitive to say something like that to someone that is probably made fun of all the time
if i was him i would have been super mad too
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  #16  
Old 10-21-2008, 03:03 AM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

Quote:
Originally Posted by liberal baptist View Post
people with deformities are born that way
how can God punish them while they are being concieved?
i have met deformitized/disabled people that are extremely nice
and refering to the first post: it is extremely insensitive to say something like that to someone that is probably made fun of all the time
if i was him i would have been super mad too
You are obviously not a Christian. Have you ever read the Bible? Where does it say any of the absurd claims you're making?

Take a look at my sermon on what God thinks of cripples HERE.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #17  
Old 10-21-2008, 03:33 AM
Mr. Jingles Mr. Jingles is offline
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Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.Mr. Jingles has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

I once met a midget in a shopping mall. I told him that he shouldn't be allowed out in public; he burst into tears. It was fun making him cry.
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  #18  
Old 10-21-2008, 04:46 AM
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Jingles View Post
I once met a midget in a shopping mall. I told him that he shouldn't be allowed out in public; he burst into tears. It was fun making him cry.
You didn't touch it did you? You can catch things off them I've heard.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #19  
Old 10-22-2008, 02:55 AM
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Virginia D. Templeton Virginia D. Templeton is offline
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
You are obviously not a Christian. Have you ever read the Bible? Where does it say any of the absurd claims you're making?

Take a look at my sermon on what God thinks of cripples HERE.
God doesn't hate people because they're cripples; God cripples people because He hates them.
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  #20  
Old 10-22-2008, 08:21 AM
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Default Re: Are Midgets Evil Demons?

Quote:
Originally Posted by liberal God-mocker View Post
people with deformities are born that way
how can God punish them while they are being concieved?
i have met deformitized/disabled people that are extremely nice
and refering to the first post: it is extremely insensitive to say something like that to someone that is probably made fun of all the time
if i was him i would have been super mad too
Deformitized. Really? That is the word you chose to defend dwarves?

That's like telling someone whose hair is on fire that they look taller!

Deformitized?!? God doesn't "deformitize" people, he afflicts them. And it's for something the parents, usually the mother did, not the precious products of conception itself. Get your facts and your language straight.

Does your keyboard not have a 'Shift' key?
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