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  • Bob4God
    Moderator
    Arms Dealer for CHRIST
    Hands folded for Jesus
     
    • Apr 2008
    • 5274

    #1

    Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

    The LORD has just brought it to my attention that a new threat is finding its way into bathrooms across the planet!

    It's called a toilet bidet, and it's here to damn your soul! (And squirt your behind.)



    Apparently these things were invented in the demented land of Japan, by a bunch of queer Asians who wanted a way to recruit masses of children to the gay lifestyle.

    The concept is to make people (including your children) comfortable with having their anuses squirted with liquid. We all know why.

    When you observe these devilish instruments of simulated sodomy, you can clearly see that the designers want you to not only sit ABOVE it, but sit ON it.



    That's right. Gays want to stick a water spicket up your butt. That's because they're so normal!

    I always wondered how anybody could ever derive any form of pleasure from having something stuffed up their backside. Now I know that it began when they were merely children being potty-trained in foreign countries. It goes to show homosexuality was indeed imported to our shores by animalistic Asians and Europeans.

    I assume this is what the gays are talking about when they discuss "water sports."

    This is NOT a personal hygiene product, it's a sex toy that can be used by men and women, and it's WRONG!

    It won't be long before the gay agenda is having these installed in our schools, churches and homes!



    PLEASE PRAY THE PERSECUTION WILL END!

    In JESUS' name, Amen.
    sigpic
    The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
    - Proverbs 15:3

    CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


    CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


  • despising david
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Nov 2010
    • 144

    #2
    Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

    You speak the truth Bob, but this travesty upon Christ is actually more prominent than any True Christian may easily believe!!! Boday's are almost the only toilet found in the asian continent, and Europe also is home to tens of thousands of turngay's. These instruments of torture and hate have luckily been kept out of our great country by the Lord. Other issues with this are the fact that merely spraying water up there would not clean anything, so it's user's are not only attacked homosexually but forced to spend thier days filthy as satans fingernails. If you see a boday the only option is to destroy it by any means necessary. There is no way to pacify these monsters and they will continue untill Every good Christian on Earth is forced into homosexuality and sin
    Deuteronomy 6:5
    Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

    Comment

    • Nobar King
      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
      Christ's Guardian
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2007
      • 23748

      #3
      Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

      I don't think that I have any problem 'down there.' Why would I need a special squirter unless I had some kind of devious plans?
      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

      Comment

      • Oakland "Reb" Griner
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Jun 2009
        • 2241

        #4
        Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

        This is even more shocking and disturbed than you imagine!

        Since these are engineered and manufacture appliances, these Satanic contraptions would have to be tested and evaluated. This strongly implies that some pervert would have to watch the device in actual operation to assure it was assembled and designed properly!! This individual would have to be one of the most thoroughly perverticated persons in the world!

        I am going to pray especially hard tonight once my disgust and revulsion abates.
        Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78555

          #5
          Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

          Take it from me, the slants don't have any toilet paper. How I put up with them I'll never know. Anything for Jesus I guess.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • Repentant James
            Unsaved trash
             
            • Nov 2010
            • 26

            #6
            Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

            Is this some kind of horrible conspiracy by Satanic plumbers (unlike Godly Joe the Plumber) who are trying to sodomize True Christians™ with water?

            Comment

            • Cindy Lou Jenkins
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2010
              • 238

              #7
              Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

              Originally posted by Repentant James View Post
              Is this some kind of horrible conspiracy by Satanic plumbers (unlike Godly Joe the Plumber) who are trying to sodomize True Christians™ with water?
              My husband says the French are behind it all. All gay things come from France. France and San Francisco, that is.

              (Billy Bob: I approve this post.)
              1 Corinthians 11:3
              But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

              Property of Billy Bob Jenkins

              Comment

              • SheepOfGod
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • Oct 2010
                • 119

                #8
                Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

                If we don't stamp out the fag problem then these will be in every public restroom in America. If it were up to the fags they would probly even go as far to make a law requiring all home toilets have them too. We need to take action and the time is now!
                GOD HATE FAGS
                Athiesm is a form of mental illness that should be treated immediately.

                Comment

                • despising david
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Nov 2010
                  • 144

                  #9
                  Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

                  this is a tragedy that God has allowed us to be forced to know of these demonic toilet's existance!!! we must destroy them ourselves as a way to prove our undying desire to please him and prevent homosexuality.
                  Deuteronomy 6:5
                  Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

                  Comment

                  • Rev. Jim Osborne
                    True Christian™ Televangelist
                    Director of Fundraising and Tithing
                    On the Look Out for Wife #6!
                    True Christian™
                    • Jun 2009
                    • 8622

                    #10
                    Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

                    The Bidet: SATAN'S FOUNTAIN. Brother Bob is right...it is intended to be ridden upon. Did you know the word bidet means pony in French? The purpose is for you to ride it.....straight to the gates of Hell.

                    I can tell you that God recommends you use cheap, coarse toilet paper to finish off your business. There shouldn't be anything pleasurable about cleaning yourself after a bowel movement. Every True Christian™ should bite the bullet, so to speak, and use the cheapest toilet paper possible. Not only does it save money for the family budget, it also helps save your soul!

                    Stay away from "premium" toilet paper like Charmin Ultra and whatnot. When you wipe, it actually might feel good. Then you start thinking "If this feels good, how about a rush of cool water?" and then you're sitting on one of these SATAN'S FOUNTAINS. You realize how much better that feels then you start thinking: "What if I had a penis inside of there? Wouldn't that feel better?"

                    Stop the temptation before it happens. Wiping yourself should be as painful and quick as possible.

                    Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

                    Comment

                    • WilliamJenningsBryan
                      True Christian™
                       
                      • Jan 2007
                      • 9384

                      #11
                      Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

                      This is disgusting - even the term "Bidet" sounds French. It occurs to me that perhaps these devices could be adapted to cleaning out demon infested colons by injecting a measure of Tabasco or Louisiana Hot Sauce. There's a chance that even Nancy Pelosi could be saved.
                      Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                      brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                      ...and get off my lawn
                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • cwjakesteel
                        Unsaved trash, teenaged potty mouth
                        • Mar 2012
                        • 18

                        #12
                        Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

                        I'm sorry, but you people are kidding me right?

                        "The french and Asians brought over gays" Are you racist as heck?

                        Please tell me you are being sarcastic.

                        But after reading this thread I am quite skeptical about the invention of the bidet. I imagined that it was invented for hygienic purposes. But you propose it was invented for sexual purposes?

                        I honestly think you all are over reacting. This isn't homosexual at all, although I assure you, homosexuals would enjoy this. But that doesn't mean it's gonna turn people gay.

                        You're baptists right? (this is my first post). Then you know what is written in James 1:13-15

                        13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

                        It is one's own evil desire to sin that eventually gives birth to sin. Not contraptions.

                        As a Christian, you people sadden me. Though I do not cast judgement upon you, I welcome discussion.
                        Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children,and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

                        Comment

                        • Bob4God
                          Moderator
                          Arms Dealer for CHRIST
                          Hands folded for Jesus
                           
                          • Apr 2008
                          • 5274

                          #13
                          Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

                          Originally posted by cwjakesteel View Post
                          13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

                          It is one's own evil desire to sin that eventually gives birth to sin. Not contraptions.
                          Where does that say we cannot be enticed by objects, such as money, another person's property, like a car or wife, or even a piece of forbidden fruit?
                          sigpic
                          The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
                          - Proverbs 15:3

                          CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


                          CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


                          Comment

                          • Levi Jones
                            Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                            Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                            Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                             
                            • Jul 2009
                            • 13930

                            #14
                            Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

                            Originally posted by cwjakesteel View Post
                            I'm sorry, but you people are kidding me right?

                            "The french and Asians brought over gays" Are you racist as heck?

                            Please tell me you are being sarcastic.
                            What is funny about water shooting up your butt?

                            I honestly think you all are over reacting. This isn't homosexual at all, although I assure you, homosexuals would enjoy this. But that doesn't mean it's gonna turn people gay.
                            How would you know that? Have you caught the gay?

                            You're baptists right? (this is my first post). Then you know what is written in James 1:13-15

                            13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
                            It is one's own evil desire to sin that eventually gives birth to sin. Not contraptions.
                            Yes, but Jesus tells us that if anything causes us to sin, we should get it away from us.

                            Matthew 5:29-30 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
                            And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

                            As a Christian it saddens me to see you not take God's Word seriously enough.
                            Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                            Comment

                            • Johnathan
                              Baptizing vehicles for Christ
                              Authorized True Christian™ Car Dealer
                              True Christian™
                              • Mar 2012
                              • 204

                              #15
                              Re: Beware the Toilet Bidet: Homosexual Squirt Gun!

                              Originally posted by cwjakesteel View Post
                              I'm sorry, but you people are kidding me right?

                              "The french and Asians brought over gays" Are you racist as heck?

                              Please tell me you are being sarcastic.

                              But after reading this thread I am quite skeptical about the invention of the bidet. I imagined that it was invented for hygienic purposes. But you propose it was invented for sexual purposes?

                              I honestly think you all are over reacting. This isn't homosexual at all, although I assure you, homosexuals would enjoy this. But that doesn't mean it's gonna turn people gay.

                              You're baptists right? (this is my first post). Then you know what is written in James 1:13-15

                              13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

                              It is one's own evil desire to sin that eventually gives birth to sin. Not contraptions.

                              As a Christian, you people sadden me. Though I do not cast judgement upon you, I welcome discussion.
                              You poor unsaved soul. May CHRIST the LORD himself give me strength to deal with such utter falsehood as you present this godly forum with. These machines were created by Satan-worshipping blasphemers, in order to not only promote (Cover your monitor, young ones) masturbation (Especially with a machine!), but homosexual pleasures as well. And as it should be OBVIOUS to you in Romans 1, 1:31 and 1:32 "Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."

                              My brothers and sisters in CHRIST shall carry out the word of god, the day this land rids itself of its heathen liberal government.
                              THIS PLACE RESERVED FOR SCRIPTURE!

                              Comment

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