WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptions

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Spilled Seed Sperm souls go to STRAIGHT to HELL!

This is why there have been so many volcanic eruptions and Earthquakes lately. Perverts have no self control and molest themselves condemning billions - if not trillions - of souls to HELL. HELL is now so full it is over flowing!

Just imagine, all those millions japs "M'ing" and filling up HELL beneath Japan. March 11, 2011, they filled it HELL up soooo full with sperm babies it finally EXPLODED! Spewing DEMONS out everywhere!

They get into the gay food that people eat and then they make a nice cozy home in your COLON (see colon demons) causing you to become gay!

MASTURBATION WILL BE YOUR DOOM!

CALIFORNIA IS NEXT! All those actors having perverted sex, all the homers packing mud, all the lezbean clam digging..... THEY ARE NEXT!

[serbiangirl]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

Wow, again, like most people here, you are HILARIOUS!!!!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

Regarding this list of prohibited foods, I noticed that kielbasa is on there. I certainly hope this is an accident, as kielbasa is a food near and dear to my heart.

I even have a little song I like to sing before biting into one:


Kielbasa, kielbasa, it is my favorite meat/
kielbasa, kielbasa, a sausage good to eat!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

Wow, again, like most people here, you are HILARIOUS!!!!

Could you please explain, Serbian Girl, exactly what it is that you find so amusing?

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

Could you please explain, Serbian Girl, exactly what it is that you find so amusing?

She will take a while to answer. She will only have one hand free to type with.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

Could you please explain, Serbian Girl, exactly what it is that you find so amusing?

It seems she finds the deaths of tens of thousands, followed by their eternal damnation, amusing.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

Wow, again, like most people here, you are HILARIOUS!!!!

You won't think I'm so hilarious when you are in HELL and all the sperm soul babies are gnawing at your flesh while a demon bends you over a lava tube and anally rapes you for hours on end.

[Cursed]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

It seems she finds the deaths of tens of thousands, followed by their eternal damnation, amusing.

Serbians are MONSTERS!

I pray they get hit with an earthquake next, Praise God!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

The math and science is on your side, sister.

• The average unsaved scum of a man masturbates about 4 times a week, on average. Some more, some less. [Source: Special research from Pastor Ezekiel Flint]
• There are at least 63 million men in Japan. Since they are all unsaved, we can assume the 4 a week average. [Source: CIA Factbook]
• There are at least 111 million souls (sperm) released in every ejaculation. [Source: Answers.com]

Thus you have your average Nip killing 444 million (111 million sperm x 4 times a week) every week. Multiply that together with the total population, and you get the staggering number of 27,972,000,000,000,000 or nearly 28 quadrillion souls being damned to hell a week.

There are 52 weeks a year, so the nation of Japan alone murders 1,454,544,000,000,000,000 or 1.4 quintillion unborn babies a year.

Stop and think about this for a minute. Put it in perspective.

World War II killed over 60 million people, military and civilian. Japan's mass masturbatory murder is equivalent to over 24 billion World War II's a year. Or to use a visual example, if the entire death count of World War II was the size of an ant (.008 inches), these ants linked end-to-end would wrap around the entire earth 1,200 times.

It's a wonder the earthquake was only 9.1, if you ask me. If anything, this shows how merciful and loving God really is.

[James Dewitt]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

The math and science is on your side, sister.

• The average unsaved scum of a man masturbates about 4 times a week, on average. Some more, some less. [Source: Special research from Pastor Ezekiel Flint]
• There are at least 63 million men in Japan. Since they are all unsaved, we can assume the 4 a week average. [Source: CIA Factbook]
• There are at least 111 million souls (sperm) released in every ejaculation. [Source: Answers.com]

Thus you have your average Nip killing 444 million (111 million sperm x 4 times a week) every week. Multiply that together with the total population, and you get the staggering number of 27,972,000,000,000,000 or nearly 28 quadrillion souls being damned to hell a week.

There are 52 weeks a year, so the nation of Japan alone murders 1,454,544,000,000,000,000 or 1.4 quintillion unborn babies a year.

Stop and think about this for a minute. Put it in perspective.

World War II killed over 60 million people, military and civilian. Japan's mass masturbatory murder is equivalent to over 24 billion World War II's a year.

It's a wonder the earthquake was only 9.1, if you ask me. If anything, this shows how merciful and loving God really is.

Before I became a True Christian (R) I killed some 1,00,000,000,000,000. babies, Jesus forgive me.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

What is my moral obligation regarding nocturnal emissions? Should I view them as tragic, yet unavoidable accidents?

I've been having more and more of them lately.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

What is my moral obligation regarding nocturnal emissions? Should I view them as tragic, yet unavoidable accidents?

I've been having more and more of them lately.

Shameful, shameful sin, my friend.

Take a look at THIS thread, which outlines effective methods for curtailing such pervertions.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

Thank you Pastor Ezekiel, but I think there may have been some misunderstanding. When I speak of nocturnal emissions, I don't mean to imply that I am inappropriately touching myself; I am talking about the phenomenon which is colloquially referred to as a "wet dream," and which happens when a man is asleep and presumably not touching himself.

I know that the secular humanist scientists would have us believe this is a perfectly natural occurrence, but I suspect it is the work of succubi.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

Thank you Pastor Ezekiel, but I think there may have been some misunderstanding. When I speak of nocturnal emissions, I don't mean to imply that I am inappropriately touching myself; I am talking about the phenomenon which is colloquially referred to as a "wet dream," and which happens when a man is asleep and presumably not touching himself.

I know that the secular humanist scientists would have us believe this is a perfectly natural occurrence, but I suspect it is the work of succubi.

If you were married and working toward impregnating your wife with a Soldier for Christ, you'd not have to worry about these nocturnal emissions, now would you?

[Cursed]

Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio

Thank you Pastor Ezekiel, but I think there may have been some misunderstanding. When I speak of nocturnal emissions, I don't mean to imply that I am inappropriately touching myself; I am talking about the phenomenon which is colloquially referred to as a "wet dream," and which happens when a man is asleep and presumably not touching himself.

I know that the secular humanist scientists would have us believe this is a perfectly natural occurrence, but I suspect it is the work of succubi.

It's still a sin!

So is "sleep murdering" when you get up and sleep walk in your sleep and sleep chop people up into pieces!

Even if you did it in your sleep, it's still wrong!

Otherwise whenever somebody did something bad they'd just say they were sleeping and get away with it, liars!