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Satan's Entertainment Discussion for Movies/TV/Music/Video Games/Pop Culture. How HELLY-wood is destroying our society and parents can learn to protect their children from sinful influences like Disney, Pacman, and Tic-Tac-Toe.

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Old 04-16-2011, 11:19 AM
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Angry PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Valve Portal 2 is a video game unlike any other game. Most games have the decency to give you a machine gun so you can start shooting Muslims, democrats or whatever terrorists are called nowadays. With Portal 2 you get to kill no one. After getting stuck at 32% for ages all you do is fiddle with lasers and getting thrown around by jump platforms. It's amazing someone even bothered to make it.

Insulting GOD with techno-magical mumbo-jumbo.
With Portal 2 you have a special "gun" which you can use to create two types of portals. A gay blue one and an even more gay orange one. The portals are connected with each other, whatever enters a portal, leaves the other one. In other words Valve reinvented something also known as a door. My house has several of those. Yet somehow people pay money for this nonsense.

Whatever enters one portal, leaves the other one.


Clearly this kind of nonsense does nothing but polluting the minds of innocent children with non-biblical concepts. Portals are not in the Bible so not only do they not exist, they are impossible to create! Just thinking about how they work will turn your child into a Hell bound atheist!

Jesus clearly would not like this as He hates magic! (Deuteronomy 18:9-12)


Dooming your innocent child to HELL!
Like most video games, Portal 2 will do everything in its power to doom your innocent child to the eternal fires of Hell! There is nothing more important in a child's life than loving Jesus and Jesus loving them back. One of the very evil elements of Portal 2 is the "companion cube". Apparently they realize girls who play video games will never get boyfriends. Portal 2 teaches children to forget about Jesus and to worship the companion cube instead! Jesus clearly does not approve! Jesus wants us to love only Him and no one else! John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

Children and young women learn to love the companion cube:


Filling your child's mind with SEX, SEX and SEX!
Portal 2 promotes new kinds of sex your innocent children didn't even knew existed. Where usually 2 people are needed to have unhealthy forms of sex like anal sex and oral sex, portal makes it possible to do all this alone. This will create fantasies in your children's minds that will haunt them forever and ever while they masturbate like wild kangaroos. Just read this fair and balanced article where actually sucking peoples asses and playing Portal 2 turn out to be the same thing.

Portal 2 promotes people to have sex with themselves:


Teaching your child that lying is OK!
Portal 2 does nothing but lie over and over again to the player. Teaching innocent children that there is nothing wrong with lying. The biggest lie being the constant promise of cake (a miserable excuse for a decent Christian American pie) which is never actually delivered, they probably hired Federal Express. Your child will cry a lot while playing this game. God hates liars: Proverbs 6:16-19 "These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."

The cake is a lie. No decent Christian woman would ever create such a monstrosity.


Stealing your credit card information.
Portal 2 can only be bought online with something called "Steam". Steam is the most hacked online system in existence. Even a child can hack into Steam and steal credit card information of everyone who ever bought something with it! Most of these thieves are called indies. Somehow these people from India all use Steam to steal money from hard working Americans.
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Last edited by Cranky Old Man; 04-19-2011 at 08:51 AM. Reason: Typo
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Old 04-16-2011, 02:25 PM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

I am glad my father does not allow me to see pictures in my web browser!
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Old 04-16-2011, 03:16 PM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

you need to get a hobby it looks like you are pretty bored all the time
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Old 04-16-2011, 03:19 PM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by doesgodloveusa_yes View Post
you need to get a hobby it looks like you are pretty bored all the time
I have never ever been bored in my entire life. No matter how often I read the Bible, it remains the most fascinating book in existence. It's a real honor to be allowed to read God's own words.
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Old 04-16-2011, 04:13 PM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Brother Cranky, the trouble with Portal is much more serious than most people suspect. It may have started out as just another ass-sucking simulator, but many people have been caught up in cult-like behavior by worshiping the 'companion cube'. No one has ever seen this companion, yet it guides every player?

People would have you think that the 'companion' is a benevolent angel but the truth is much more sinister. This little box is going to steal your child's heart and turn him into a lonely spinster:


How are these kids ever going to get a date if they spend all of their time playing portal and worshiping this cube?

People are even going against Leviticus 19:28 and dooming their souls to hell by getting companion tattoos to show their dedication to this idol:

If this girl ever manages to get married, do you think her husband is going to want to look at THAT every time he has to have sex with her?

Little children are begging their moms for Weighted Companion Cube cakes:



Even though it is well known that the cake is a lie:



Here is someone getting raped by a Companion Cube and a portal:



People don't need to be distracting themselves with this game, they need to be reading the Holy Bible and praising Jesus. He is The Way and The Light! PRAISE!
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Old 04-16-2011, 04:20 PM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

It was obvious to me just from the name, "Portal 2", that the game was about anal sex.
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Old 04-16-2011, 05:25 PM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

My sister-in-law had to cancel her credit cards and reformat her computer after her little brat went online to that Steam site to buy those games.

What is the portal, anyway? It's like a giant sphincter that you can shoot out of a gun?
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Old 04-16-2011, 09:05 PM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

You're absolutely right I read in the bible that this "portal" weapon is used in anal sex from the jews and (in my mind) going to responsible for the 2012 doomsday! Want to know a place that is even worse? Reddit.com. These guys make fun of Christians (Why make fun of us we are loving people). All they do is praise portal, gay sex and atheism. I think we should try and take this website down! They also steal credit card information as well! If you ever go on that site you should take out your harddrive and buy a new one.

Oh PS: the CIA and the Pentagon has reports that terrorist (alqueida/all muslims) current use this to drop rocks and heavy items on our soldiers in the middle east! It's insane! I also heard it was used in 9/11!!!!!!!!!
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Old 04-16-2011, 09:40 PM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ironcoffin View Post
Oh PS: the CIA and the Pentagon has reports that terrorist (alqueida/all muslims) current use this to drop rocks and heavy items on our soldiers in the middle east! It's insane! I also heard it was used in 9/11!!!!!!!!!
You do realize it's a game now don't you!?
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Old 04-17-2011, 03:39 AM
ZOMGITSANATHEIST ZOMGITSANATHEIST is offline
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

first of all, i registered just to post on this thread. don't consider yourself lucky.

i've seen this site before (gay sex with jar-jar binks, anyone?) and nothing has made me more angry than the blatant disregard for facts that this guy is expelling out of his fingers.

first of all, sex isn't mentioned in the first portal at all. surprising, i know. everyone is sex crazed, except you loving, caring christians. /sarcasm
the portals are in no way connected to anal sex. the companion cube is a cube in one of the last levels (i forget) and it is used to one, turn you against GLaDDOS (the main antagonizer) but it is also used for the completion of the level.

secondly, the portal itself is a valid scientific theory upon which the game series 'Portal' is based upon.

thirdly, stealing credit card information? are you serious? oh, wait. you're basing your information on one source again, aren't you? (bible)

i consider Valve to be the average, greed-riden Conglomerate just like any other company. however, i, personally, have purchased over $500 worth of games via Steam (direct-download client by Valve) and my info hasn't been stolen. i haven't been getting bills for useless garbage (jar-jar sex toy, bible. har har har)



making ridiculous claims that you have no information backing them could be taken slanderous. (VALVE MADE A GAME ABOUT ANAL BUTTSECKS)

look, i understand that being a christian automatically makes you unable to think for yourself, so i understand why you need to justify taking everything out of context, and backing them with even more outrageous claims is not only ignorant, but it;'s completely unjustifiable.

'Insulting GOD with techno-magical mumbo-jumbo.'
again, i can understand this coming from someone that hears Portal and automatically thinks 'ANAL SEX OH MY GOD THE CHILDREN'. let me take a step back. as toward that sentence, let's imagine that god exists, for a moment. would you not consider your computer to be 'techno-magical mumbo-jumbo'?

think about it.

"Clearly this kind of nonsense does nothing but polluting the minds of innocent children with non-biblical concepts. Portals are not in the Bible so not only do they not exist, they are impossible to create! Just thinking about how they work will turn your child into a Hell bound atheist!"

let's break that down, shall we?

Clearly this kind of nonsense does nothing but polluting the minds of innocent children with non-biblical concepts.

expecting there to be only one source of information can be considered to be considered brain washing (again, bible)

Portals are not in the Bible so not only do they not exist, they are impossible to create!

<cough> black holes <cough> dinosaurs <cough> internet <cough>

Just thinking about how they work will turn your child into a Hell bound atheist!"

riiiight. obvious troll is obvious? ignorance or trolling, you tell me.


Filling your child's mind with SEX, SEX and SEX!
Portal 2 promotes new kinds of sex your innocent children didn't even knew existed. Where usually 2 people are needed to have unhealthy forms of sex like anal sex and oral sex, portal makes it possible to do all this alone. This will create fantasies in your children's minds that will haunt them forever and ever while they masturbate like wild kangaroos. Just read this fair and balanced article where actually sucking peoples asses and playing Portal 2 turn out to be the same thing.


Portal 2 promotes new kinds of sex your innocent children didn't even knew existed. Where usually 2 people are needed to have unhealthy forms of sex like anal sex and oral sex, portal makes it possible to do all this alone.

pretty sure masturbation existed before portal. j/s


This will create fantasies in your children's minds that will haunt them forever and ever while they masturbate like wild kangaroos. Just read this fair and balanced article where actually sucking peoples asses and playing Portal 2 turn out to be the same thing.

>fair and balanced
fair and balanced? coming from you?

>masturbate like wild kangaroos
kangaroos do not experience pleasure while having sex (pretty sure) and if they did, their arms aren't long enough. never have i, nor anyone seen a kangaroo masturbate

Teaching your child that lying is OK!
Portal 2 does nothing but lie over and over again to the player. Teaching innocent children that there is nothing wrong with lying. The biggest lie being the constant promise of cake (a miserable excuse for a decent Christian American pie) which is never actually delivered, they probably hired Federal Express. Your child will cry a lot while playing this game.


i can understand the lying part, however, GLaDDOS is, after-all, considered to be the evil character in the portal series. would you not expect satan to lie? would you not expect satan to give you a 'christian pie' as you put it?

no, GLAaDDOS is not satan. but she is the vital counter-part of the story. without a story, there isn't point to anything media related. bible included.

/rant

also, in case you feel the need to delete my post, i'm screen-capping it and posting it to the wall of my parents' basement, where I live at age 36 with my gerbil/ love companion "Han Solo". enjoy your aids.

oh. my name means ZOMG IT'S AN ATHEIST.

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 01-21-2013 at 02:05 PM. Reason: Spelling.
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Old 04-17-2011, 04:08 AM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZOMGITSANATHEIST View Post
>masturbate like wild kangaroos
kangaroos do not experience pleasure while having sex (pretty sure)
Dear Friend,

Why would kangaroos have sex if they didn't enjoy it? The enjoyment of sex is hardwired into animals. If it wasn't they wouldn't spend time on procreation and would die out.

Quote:
and if they did, their arms aren't long enough. never have i, nor anyone seen a kangaroo masturbate
Do you have some special competence in kangaroo masturbation we should know about?

Yours in Him,
BAB
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Old 04-17-2011, 04:33 AM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

your jesus is a lie. piffle off you biased swine.

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Old 04-17-2011, 04:34 AM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Why is "anal sex" the first thing that comes to mind? Shouldn't an uncorrupted christian think of something more...christian-ish first? I certainly didn't even think of anal sex when people have told me about portal, but unfortunately it'll probably pop up in the back of my mind when somebody mentions portal in any way.
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Old 04-17-2011, 04:36 AM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZOMGITSANATHEIST View Post
your jesus is a lie. piffle off you biased swine.
Dear Friend,

Logically sound, rhetorically persuasive, and all-around airtight. If the world-recognized expert on kangaroo onanism says we need to dismantle two millennia of Christianity, I guess there's nothing for us to do but pack up and go home!

Yours in His Loudly Scoffing At You,
BAB
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  #15  
Old 04-17-2011, 04:38 AM
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Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by An Aladam View Post
Why is "anal sex" the first thing that comes to mind? Shouldn't an uncorrupted christian think of something more...christian-ish first? I certainly didn't even think of anal sex when people have told me about portal, but unfortunately it'll probably pop up in the back of my mind when somebody mentions portal in any way.
Young friend, some of us are passionate about spreading the word to evil doers, such as those who have evil sex. That means there are many, many people that we have to reach. Anal sex is had by most of the population nowadays, so there are references to it everywhere in the media, in commercials, in billboards, subliminal messages really. Sometimes, such as in the case of "Portal #2", the references are more explicit. I mean seriously, what else could "Portal #2" mean?
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  #16  
Old 04-17-2011, 04:43 AM
ZOMGITSANATHEIST ZOMGITSANATHEIST is offline
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

how is anal sex bad? a chick can't get preggers if you shove it in her pooper

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 01-21-2013 at 02:00 PM.
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  #17  
Old 04-17-2011, 04:44 AM
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZOMGITSANATHEIST View Post
how is anal sex bad? a chick can't get preggers if you shove it in her pooper
Dear Friend,

They aren't chicks if they have fist-sized Adam's apples.

Yours in Him,
BAB
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  #18  
Old 04-17-2011, 04:49 AM
ZOMGITSANATHEIST ZOMGITSANATHEIST is offline
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Born Again Bob View Post
Dear Friend,

They aren't chicks if they have fist-sized Adam's apples.

Yours in Him,
BAB
dear 'friend' i am currently aware of this information. would you like to blabber some more usless information? like about your jesus, or the holocaust?

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 01-21-2013 at 01:58 PM.
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  #19  
Old 04-17-2011, 04:51 AM
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Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Born Again Bob will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Dear Friend,

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZOMGITSANATHEIST View Post
would you like to blabber some more usless information? like about your jesus, or the holocaust?
So you're a Holocaust denier? In this day and age?

I'll pray for you.

Yours in Him,
BAB
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  #20  
Old 04-17-2011, 04:58 AM
ZOMGITSANATHEIST ZOMGITSANATHEIST is offline
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Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

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Originally Posted by Born Again Bob View Post
Dear Friend,



So you're a Holocaust denier? In this day and age?

I'll pray for you.

Yours in Him,
BAB
save your energy. no one is listening
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