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  • Pastor Ed Lowman
    Southern Hospitality Exemplified
    Always kind and loving
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2011
    • 1838

    #1

    My Terrible Experience at the Des Moines Airport

    Earlier this afternoon, I chose to catch an early flight to Iowa. When the delayed flight finally got us on the ground at around 1:30 this afternoon, I was shocked to notice not even ONE negro shoeshine boy waiting for business next to the baggage pickup! Not a single colored boy or girl waiting to shine my shoes! I couldn't believe it!

    I couldn't find them anywhere, no matter how hard I looked. So after looking around for a while longer, I went to a customer service desk to file a complaint. The young, half-breed negress behind the counter was pretty enough, but had not an ounce of respect for a white man, much less a preacher of the Gospel.

    "Well, it's not like it's the 50s anymore, sir." Can you believe she had the audacity to talk to me like that? Then she smirked and rudely said: "I can call a manager, but I don't think they can do anything about it." I could tell she was fighting back laughter and wanted to poke fun at me. No respect at all.

    Then she calls over another "manager," who, by the looks of her, couldn't manage anything but eating a 10th or 11th helping of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets. This giant negress, who had a butt as big as Texas, was actually visibly laughing at me! I was so insulted!

    So after letting out a Godly, pure-as-Texas tirade at a third so-called "manager" (really just a short, stenchy hindaloo), I demanded compensation for the rudeness and lack of service. I was given none but a suggestion to file a formal complaint with the airline (which I very much intend to do). I should call my lawyer.

    I just can't believe this generation. They take away our whites-only water fountains and bathrooms and replace them with young, mixed-race infidels who wear suits and vote for Obama and sell Rosetta Stone language study guides next to gift shops.

    I had to say a little prayer to Jesus to compose myself on this matter. Has anyone else had a similar experience in the ever-more-liberalizing Des Moines Airport?

    Truly the proverbs state: "There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up." (Proverbs 30:12-13)

    Pastor Ed

  • Rev. Jim Osborne
    True Christian™ Televangelist
    Director of Fundraising and Tithing
    On the Look Out for Wife #6!
    True Christian™
    • Jun 2009
    • 8622

    #2
    Re: My Terrible Experience at the Des Moines Airport

    Sad, but true. The fine expertise of shining your patent leather wingtips is a lost art amongst the darkies. But, Pastor Ed, like me, you're a well-off guy that needs to look his best at all times....have you considered hiring your own negro servant to shine your shoes on demand? Just pay them below minimum wage under the table. I got one negress who does laundry for me for only $2 an hour, as long as I throw in 5 free scratchers a day. That's just $21 for 8 hours of work! But, she sees it as a chance to win a million dollars, so she'll slave over it (pardon the pun).

    Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

    Comment

    • Benedict A. Davis
      Winning Souls in his Winnebago
      True Christian™
      • May 2010
      • 3900

      #3
      Re: My Terrible Experience at the Des Moines Airport

      Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
      Sad, but true. The fine expertise of shining your patent leather wingtips is a lost art amongst the darkies. But, Pastor Ed, like me, you're a well-off guy that needs to look his best at all times....have you considered hiring your own negro servant to shine your shoes on demand? Just pay them below minimum wage under the table. I got one negress who does laundry for me for only $2 an hour, as long as I throw in 5 free scratchers a day. That's just $21 for 8 hours of work! But, she sees it as a chance to win a million dollars, so she'll slave over it (pardon the pun).
      Sorry for going off topic but I just have to say that is thinking that can turn the economy around Sir! Get rid of regulations like minimum wage and collective bargaining and allow innovative plans such as this go to work. I could see you rewarding employees with an additional scratch off card,instead of planned bonuses [or benefits]. I am sure many would see this as a way to increase their chances of winning the prize!
      sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
      Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
      Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
      Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

      Comment

      • Pastor Ed Lowman
        Southern Hospitality Exemplified
        Always kind and loving
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2011
        • 1838

        #4
        Re: My Terrible Experience at the Des Moines Airport

        Thanks for the advice. Since dear Mrs. Lowman has returned to go be with the Lord, I have thought more than once about investing in hired help, maybe a personal assistant maid with one of those cougar skin outfits with an appreciation for hard work. Heaven forbid, I know the good ones are awfully hard to come by, especially when looking for one who will forsake suckular laws to obey the maidservant commandments of Exodus 21:7-11.

        But we must admit that nigra-made pancakes are quite the treat. Other than making sure my trousers are pressed and shoes shined, this might be a dead-on good idea, brethren.

        Comment

        • Rev. Jim Osborne
          True Christian™ Televangelist
          Director of Fundraising and Tithing
          On the Look Out for Wife #6!
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2009
          • 8622

          #5
          Re: My Terrible Experience at the Des Moines Airport

          Originally posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
          Sorry for going off topic but I just have to say that is thinking that can turn the economy around Sir! Get rid of regulations like minimum wage and collective bargaining and allow innovative plans such as this go to work. I could see you rewarding employees with an additional scratch off card,instead of planned bonuses [or benefits]. I am sure many would see this as a way to increase their chances of winning the prize!
          EXACTLY! Let the free market decide what employees are worth, not bureaucratic lawyers in congress! It's fair for both companies and the employees. Like these crazy ideas about forcing companies to provide health care! Do you know how many under my employ really don't care about that? Lottery scratchers and supermarket coupons are more enticing bonuses. Why can't these ignorant lawmakers allow companies and small business owners to give their employees what they really want?

          Originally posted by Pastor Ed Lowman View Post
          But we must admit that nigra-made pancakes are quite the treat. Other than making sure my trousers are pressed and shoes shined, this might be a dead-on good idea, brethren.
          Personally, my brother, I prefer Latina help around the house. They really know how to satisfy a boss's expectations.

          Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

          Comment

          • SUV
            True Christian™ Princess
            The Driving Force behind RA12
            Have at it, anytime!
            • Sep 2006
            • 11027

            #6
            Re: My Terrible Experience at the Des Moines Airport

            They're all out stealing cooling Pies off windowsills, that's what I think. Bringing them in Tribute to their 'cat-Daddy' in the White House.

            Unutterably vile

            Comment

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