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  • #1

    Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

    "Christian Rock" doesn't mean taking a standard jungle-music song and changing the word "baby" to "Jesus". Real Christian rock is when you let go of your guitar, pick up two machine guns, and offer to rape democratic presidential candidates with them:



    FREEDOM!!!!!!!



    Update: He's not bluffing about the rape thing. He publicly and proudly talks about his acts of "statutory rape" aka giving young sluts a tough-love wakeup call:



    "I don't care if you're only 13....Wait a minute officer
    Don't put those handcuffs on me
    Put them on her and I'll share her with you"     - Ted Nugent
    Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 04-26-2012, 02:49 PM.
    Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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    Tags: christian rock, guns+ammo=free speech, music, rock and roll, ted nugent
  • #2
    Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

    Hallelujah!!
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

      Ted, Ted. What ever happened to the good old days when you could jam to your tape player, singing "Free For all." Cranked...as loud as the speakers could handle.

      You got crazier with time.

      If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

        I am a proud Whackmaster!
        Matthew:
        5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
        5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
        10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
        10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


        sigpic

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        • #5
          Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

          Here's another classic from Ted, "Kiss My Glock."

          And it just so happens to be Pastor Pistle's favorite! (Ladies, please forgive the salty language).

          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

            Originally posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
            "Christian Rock" doesn't mean taking a standard jungle-music song and changing the word "baby" to "Jesus". Real Christian rock is when you let go of your guitar, pick up two machine guns, and offer to rape democratic presidential candidates with them.
            I particularly like how he compared Osamabama to s**t. It's a bit of a subtle point, so you may not have noticed it, but s**t is actually brown, just like, um, Canadians.
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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            • #7
              Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

              Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
              I particularly like how he compared Osamabama to s**t. It's a bit of a subtle point, so you may not have noticed it, but s**t is actually brown, just like, um, Canadians.
              Damn straight.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

                Canadians are to blame for the evil in the world.

                "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?" (l Corinthians 11:14)

                Most canadians have long hair.
                Forgivness is only for those that deserve it.
                Numbers 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
                Exodus 32:14 Then the Lord relented and did not bring on his people the disaster he had threatened.

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                • #9
                  Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

                  Now Ted has some competition. This is true Christian Rock:



                  I hope Ted buys them or there's some sort of merger. That's the proper capitalist way to get rid of the problem of competition.
                  Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
                  Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
                  Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

                    So I can let my boys listen to Ted Nugents Music? I'm sure they'll be happy to hear that.
                    Drama queen

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

                      Ted Nugent...Now there's a good name. All the cuddlyness of a teddy bear, all the chewyness of a nugat bar...

                      D*mn my father, giving me a wimpy name like Trent Harvey Junior....When he could have given me a real name...Like Dick Manly. Now that's a real name.

                      Heck, I would have settled for Manfred Mann, even though it's taken.

                      Trent Harvey junior....WTF was he thinking???
                      Founder and CEO of Trickle-Down Charities™, LLC.

                      Current Project: Bedmates For Billionaires: Biblical eldercare straight from King David
                      Goal:                       $500,000 Currently raised: $0.11 DONATE NOW! Yes, we accept Biblecoins!

                      True Christians™ believe they they exist to serve the Bible-revealed will of God.
                      False Christians believe the Bible exists to serve their will. GOD IS NOT YOUR YES-MAN!

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                      • #12
                        Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

                        Although he's a little to "in your face" for my taste, you have to admire his dedication to the cause. There's no waffling with that man, he's a True Christian, a True Republican, and a True Man.
                        PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

                        Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

                        Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

                          Bizzle, the only real christian rap.

                          Leviticus 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

                            Ahh Uncle Ted The man, The myth, The LEGEND... Uncle Ted for President!
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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                            • #15
                              Re: Ted Nugent: the only REAL Christian Rock

                              Ahh, The Nuge is my hero!!
                              He is the tower of salvation for his king: and sheweth mercy to his anointed, unto David, and to his seed for evermore. 2 Samuel 22:51
                              God, Guns and BBQ make AMERICA great!

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