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  • #1

    Come to Landover Baptist in Your Car. We are not a "Biker Church".

    It's such a temptation for churches to be hip--to adjust to changes to attract members. Some churches call themselves "Biker Churches". Others say, "We are welcoming and affirming," code for bringing in homer money.

    Here at Landover Baptist, Pastors do not like tatoos and motorcycle boots. The best bet is to dress up, arrive in a washed car and don't attract attention to yourself. God loves that.

    Md. Man to Begin Ministry for Bikers
    http://www.christianpost.com/news/md-man-to-begin-ministry-for-bikers-85241/
    A Maryland man who was involved as a youth in a Texas biker gang hopes to soon begin a ministry that would focus on evangelizing bikers
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
    Tags: motorcycles
  • #2
    Re: Come to Landover Baptist in Your Car. We are not a "Biker Church".

    Hopefully this applies to those on bicycles as well. Bicycle riders are dirty, filthy, unwashed hippies who are more intent on saving the whales and smoking reefers than living a Christ filled life. Nothing good ever comes on a bicycle.
    Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
    in 2016

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    • #3
      Re: Come to Landover Baptist in Your Car. We are not a "Biker Church".

      Not only that, they have naked church out in Godless Virginia.

      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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      • #4
        Re: Come to Landover Baptist in Your Car. We are not a "Biker Church".

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Not only that, they have naked church out in Godless Virginia.

        Absolutely disgusting but I am I not surprised considering where this "church" is located. Thank God Hurricane Sandy wiped out all of the false "churches" in my area...
        YIC,
        John
        Psalm 107
        1 O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.
        2 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;
        3 And gathered them out of the lands, from the east, and from the west, from the north, and from the south.

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        • #5
          Re: Come to Landover Baptist in Your Car. We are not a "Biker Church".

          One of my neighbors has a Harley Davidson, and let me tell you, that thing is LOUD! I've taken to periodically calling in anonymous police reports on the guy. Sometimes I'll say he's beating his wife, other times I'll say there's a chemical smell and I think he has a meth lab in his garage, whatever it takes to get the cops out there.

          None of it's true, but I figure if the police visit him enough times, he'll get the hint and move away.
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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          • #6
            Re: Come to Landover Baptist in Your Car. We are not a "Biker Church".

            Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
            One of my neighbors has a Harley Davidson, and let me tell you, that thing is LOUD! I've taken to periodically calling in anonymous police reports on the guy. Sometimes I'll say he's beating his wife, other times I'll say there's a chemical smell and I think he has a meth lab in his garage, whatever it takes to get the cops out there.

            None of it's true, but I figure if the police visit him enough times, he'll get the hint and move away.
            Well, he might be actually be a hard-working dept collector, bikers do often shine when collecting dept from lazy payers. Welfare moms who claim that their insulin-addicted dark children have the same "right" to get the latest gayPhone as their wealthy neighbor, and buy everything on installment instead of saving.
            In other case, pour sugar in his gas tank, and Jesus will take care of it.

            However, I agree that motor cycles aren't appropriate when going to the church. Bring your Godly SUV instead.

            sigpicCorporal Punishment Advisor, U.S. Department of Family Values
            Cyber-bullying Instructor, Christian Commission on Human Rights
            ★ Apple CEO is gay - Important DFV security considerations
            ★ Higgs field theory disproved - Universe is a cotton field
            ★ Viagra forces man to have his penis amputated

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            • #7
              Re: Come to Landover Baptist in Your Car. We are not a "Biker Church".

              Why would anyone want to ride a motorcycle to our church, when we have a wonderfully convenient limousine parking area right beneath the Wrath of God Chapel?
              The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

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              • #8
                Re: Come to Landover Baptist in Your Car. We are not a "Biker Church".

                Westboro Baptist Church is what I would call a "biker" church. Here, to biker types try to get the message of Jesus to Fag Pimp Russell Brand.

                While I disagree with the style of dress of these two liberal Christians, you certainly cannot argue with their message, which is God's message to the letter.

                "Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).

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                • #9
                  Re: Come to Landover Baptist in Your Car. We are not a "Biker Church".

                  Originally posted by WWJDnow View Post
                  Why would anyone want to ride a motorcycle to our church, when we have a wonderfully convenient limousine parking area right beneath the Wrath of God Chapel?
                  That, and we went through the trouble of restriping Parking Lots A and B for Hummers.
                  This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                  Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                  sigpic

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                  • #10
                    Re: Come to Landover Baptist in Your Car. We are not a "Biker Church".

                    The last thing any decent Christian would want is bug splatter all over their $5,000 silk suit. WWJT (What Would Jesus Think)
                    Could you imagine the clatter all those chains from biker wallets would make? Or the damage to the pews?
                    Is this any way to visit God?
                    Attached Files
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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