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Numbers 22-24
Today we get:
Today's reading is entirely made up with the story of Balaam.
Numbers 22
The children of Israel had just totally destroyed Sihon and Og. They then set up camp on the side of the river Jordan.
Balak, the king of Moab, saw everything that they did to Sihon and Og, and was afraid.
3 And Moab was sore afraid of the people, because they were many: and Moab was distressed because of the children of Israel.
So Balak send for Balaam.
5 He sent messengers therefore unto Balaam the son of Beor to Pethor, which is by the river of the land of the children of his people, to call him, saying, Behold, there is a people come out from Egypt: behold, they cover the face of the earth, and they abide over against me:
6 Come now therefore, I pray thee, curse me this people; for they are too mighty for me: peradventure I shall prevail, that we may smite them, and that I may drive them out of the land: for I wot that he whom thou blessest is blessed, and he whom thou cursest is cursed.
Balaam is not a Hebrew, however, he does worship the LORD (which is odd) But goes to show that God will talk to whoever he wants. He will make whoever He wants his prophet. The person doesn't have to be a Hebrew.
So the guys go to Balaam saying there are people who went out of Egypt, and if you will curse them, then Moab will be able to drive them away.
12 And God said unto Balaam, Thou shalt not go with them; thou shalt not curse the people: for they are blessed.
At least some of them are blessed, those who were under 20 at the time of the last cursing.
Balaam wakes up in the morning and tells them he can't go because God said no.
The first envoy goes back to Balak, and inform him of Balaam's decision. He then sends back a second envoy who promise him riches if he will curse the Hebes.
18 And Balaam answered and said unto the servants of Balak, If Balak would give me his house full of silver and gold, I cannot go beyond the word of the LORD my God, to do less or more.
19 Now therefore, I pray you, tarry ye also here this night, that I may know what the LORD will say unto me more.
God comes back and talks to Balaam and says that this time it's ok to go, but he has to say exactly what the LORD tells him.
21 And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.
Now the story gets interesting.
22 And God's anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the LORD stood in the way for an adversary against him. Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two servants were with him.
God was mad, even though He told Balaam he could go.
23 And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field: and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way.
The donkey saw the angel, but Balaam didn't. The angel had his sword drawn. This isn't the same kind of cutesy angel that is drawn by artists these days. This is one that is gonna kick some ASS! (literally)
The angel moved into the pathway in the vineyards, and the donkey moved to get out of the way and crushed Balaam's foot. So Balaam once again hit that ass.
26 And the angel of the LORD went further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left.
So this time the donkey just sort of sat down and wouldn't budge. So Balaam takes out his staff and hit that ass again.
28 And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?
Donkey said "wtf, yo?"
29 And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.
Balaam would have killed it if he had a sword. (Who travels in those days without a sword?)
30 And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? and he said, Nay.
Hehe, the donkey was talking, and Balaam was the one that said "Nay" a little role reversal there.
Then, the LORD opens Balaam's eyes and he sees the angel with the sword and he falls down on his face.
32 And the angel of the LORD said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me:
33 And the ass saw me, and turned from me these three times: unless she had turned from me, surely now also I had slain thee, and saved her alive.
The way was perverse, even though God gave him permission to go.
34 And Balaam said unto the angel of the LORD, I have sinned; for I knew not that thou stoodest in the way against me: now therefore, if it displease thee, I will get me back again.
35 And the angel of the LORD said unto Balaam, Go with the men: but only the word that I shall speak unto thee, that thou shalt speak. So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.
The angel decides to let him go with the people, so long as he only says what God tells him to.
Balak goes out to meet Balaam, again, asking that he's going to curse the people.
38 And Balaam said unto Balak, Lo, I am come unto thee: have I now any power at all to say any thing? the word that God putteth in my mouth, that shall I speak.
Balaak gives Balaam some sheep and oxen.
Numbers 23
Balaam said to build seven altars and to prepare seven rams and oxen for sacrifice.
3 And Balaam said unto Balak, Stand by thy burnt offering, and I will go: peradventure the LORD will come to meet me: and whatsoever he sheweth me I will tell thee. And he went to an high place.
God talks to Balaam.
5 And the LORD put a word in Balaam's mouth, and said, Return unto Balak, and thus thou shalt speak.
Then Balaam recites what God told him.
8 How shall I curse, whom God hath not cursed? or how shall I defy, whom the LORD hath not defied?
9 For from the top of the rocks I see him, and from the hills I behold him: lo, the people shall dwell alone, and shall not be reckoned among the nations.
10 Who can count the dust of Jacob, and the number of the fourth part of Israel? Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his!
You'll see jews everywhere, and they will be like dust.
Who can count them... well, Moses did.
11 And Balak said unto Balaam, What hast thou done unto me? I took thee to curse mine enemies, and, behold, thou hast blessed them altogether.
Balak said, I brought you to curse them and you blessed them, wtf?
Balaam said, I can only do what God tells me.... Let's try again.
So they build seven more altars and burn seven more sheep and oxen.
16 And the LORD met Balaam, and put a word in his mouth, and said, Go again unto Balak, and say thus.
So Balaam goes back to Balak and says...
22 God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.
24 Behold, the people shall rise up as a great lion, and lift up himself as a young lion: he shall not lie down until he eat of the prey, and drink the blood of the slain.
Balak can't believe his ears, Balaam has sort of blessed them again.
So Balak takes Balaam to another place to try to curse them AGAIN.
Again, seven more altars and seven more bullocks and seven more rams.
Numbers 24
Balaam didn't even have to go to try to find God, the LORD put him into a trance on the spot.
5 How goodly are thy tents, O Jacob, and thy tabernacles, O Israel!
6 As the valleys are they spread forth, as gardens by the river's side, as the trees of lign aloes which the LORD hath planted, and as cedar trees beside the waters.
7 He shall pour the water out of his buckets, and his seed shall be in many waters, and his king shall be higher than Agag, and his kingdom shall be exalted.
8 God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows.
9 He couched, he lay down as a lion, and as a great lion: who shall stir him up? Blessed is he that blesseth thee, and cursed is he that curseth thee.
This really REALLY pissed off Balak.
10 And Balak's anger was kindled against Balaam, and he smote his hands together: and Balak said unto Balaam, I called thee to curse mine enemies, and, behold, thou hast altogether blessed them these three times.
I asked you to curse them and look, you've gone and blessed them three friggin times? WTF???
Balak sends him away. As Balaam's leaving he says, I told you I can only do what the LORD tells me to do.
Balaam then tells Balak, that Israel will pretty much posses the entire area.
And that ends todays reading, so what did we learn?
1. Donkeys can talk. (Brother T would you like to expand on God's cupboard?)
2. Balaam, though not a Jew, talked with the LORD.
3. God said no, then yes, then no, then yes.
4. If you plan to speak for God, don't promise a curse and then deliver a blessing.
YIC
V
Today we get:
- Balaam
- The talking ass
- The curses/oops, blessings
Today's reading is entirely made up with the story of Balaam.
Numbers 22
The children of Israel had just totally destroyed Sihon and Og. They then set up camp on the side of the river Jordan.
Balak, the king of Moab, saw everything that they did to Sihon and Og, and was afraid.
3 And Moab was sore afraid of the people, because they were many: and Moab was distressed because of the children of Israel.
So Balak send for Balaam.
5 He sent messengers therefore unto Balaam the son of Beor to Pethor, which is by the river of the land of the children of his people, to call him, saying, Behold, there is a people come out from Egypt: behold, they cover the face of the earth, and they abide over against me:
6 Come now therefore, I pray thee, curse me this people; for they are too mighty for me: peradventure I shall prevail, that we may smite them, and that I may drive them out of the land: for I wot that he whom thou blessest is blessed, and he whom thou cursest is cursed.
Balaam is not a Hebrew, however, he does worship the LORD (which is odd) But goes to show that God will talk to whoever he wants. He will make whoever He wants his prophet. The person doesn't have to be a Hebrew.
So the guys go to Balaam saying there are people who went out of Egypt, and if you will curse them, then Moab will be able to drive them away.
12 And God said unto Balaam, Thou shalt not go with them; thou shalt not curse the people: for they are blessed.
At least some of them are blessed, those who were under 20 at the time of the last cursing.
Balaam wakes up in the morning and tells them he can't go because God said no.
The first envoy goes back to Balak, and inform him of Balaam's decision. He then sends back a second envoy who promise him riches if he will curse the Hebes.
18 And Balaam answered and said unto the servants of Balak, If Balak would give me his house full of silver and gold, I cannot go beyond the word of the LORD my God, to do less or more.
19 Now therefore, I pray you, tarry ye also here this night, that I may know what the LORD will say unto me more.
God comes back and talks to Balaam and says that this time it's ok to go, but he has to say exactly what the LORD tells him.
21 And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.
Now the story gets interesting.
22 And God's anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the LORD stood in the way for an adversary against him. Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two servants were with him.
God was mad, even though He told Balaam he could go.
23 And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field: and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way.
The donkey saw the angel, but Balaam didn't. The angel had his sword drawn. This isn't the same kind of cutesy angel that is drawn by artists these days. This is one that is gonna kick some ASS! (literally)
The angel moved into the pathway in the vineyards, and the donkey moved to get out of the way and crushed Balaam's foot. So Balaam once again hit that ass.
26 And the angel of the LORD went further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left.
So this time the donkey just sort of sat down and wouldn't budge. So Balaam takes out his staff and hit that ass again.
28 And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?
Donkey said "wtf, yo?"
29 And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.
Balaam would have killed it if he had a sword. (Who travels in those days without a sword?)
30 And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? and he said, Nay.
Hehe, the donkey was talking, and Balaam was the one that said "Nay" a little role reversal there.
Then, the LORD opens Balaam's eyes and he sees the angel with the sword and he falls down on his face.
32 And the angel of the LORD said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me:
33 And the ass saw me, and turned from me these three times: unless she had turned from me, surely now also I had slain thee, and saved her alive.
The way was perverse, even though God gave him permission to go.
34 And Balaam said unto the angel of the LORD, I have sinned; for I knew not that thou stoodest in the way against me: now therefore, if it displease thee, I will get me back again.
35 And the angel of the LORD said unto Balaam, Go with the men: but only the word that I shall speak unto thee, that thou shalt speak. So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.
The angel decides to let him go with the people, so long as he only says what God tells him to.
Balak goes out to meet Balaam, again, asking that he's going to curse the people.
38 And Balaam said unto Balak, Lo, I am come unto thee: have I now any power at all to say any thing? the word that God putteth in my mouth, that shall I speak.
Balaak gives Balaam some sheep and oxen.
Numbers 23
Balaam said to build seven altars and to prepare seven rams and oxen for sacrifice.
3 And Balaam said unto Balak, Stand by thy burnt offering, and I will go: peradventure the LORD will come to meet me: and whatsoever he sheweth me I will tell thee. And he went to an high place.
God talks to Balaam.
5 And the LORD put a word in Balaam's mouth, and said, Return unto Balak, and thus thou shalt speak.
Then Balaam recites what God told him.
8 How shall I curse, whom God hath not cursed? or how shall I defy, whom the LORD hath not defied?
9 For from the top of the rocks I see him, and from the hills I behold him: lo, the people shall dwell alone, and shall not be reckoned among the nations.
10 Who can count the dust of Jacob, and the number of the fourth part of Israel? Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his!
You'll see jews everywhere, and they will be like dust.
Who can count them... well, Moses did.
11 And Balak said unto Balaam, What hast thou done unto me? I took thee to curse mine enemies, and, behold, thou hast blessed them altogether.
Balak said, I brought you to curse them and you blessed them, wtf?
Balaam said, I can only do what God tells me.... Let's try again.
So they build seven more altars and burn seven more sheep and oxen.
16 And the LORD met Balaam, and put a word in his mouth, and said, Go again unto Balak, and say thus.
So Balaam goes back to Balak and says...
22 God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.
24 Behold, the people shall rise up as a great lion, and lift up himself as a young lion: he shall not lie down until he eat of the prey, and drink the blood of the slain.
Balak can't believe his ears, Balaam has sort of blessed them again.
So Balak takes Balaam to another place to try to curse them AGAIN.
Again, seven more altars and seven more bullocks and seven more rams.
Numbers 24
Balaam didn't even have to go to try to find God, the LORD put him into a trance on the spot.
5 How goodly are thy tents, O Jacob, and thy tabernacles, O Israel!
6 As the valleys are they spread forth, as gardens by the river's side, as the trees of lign aloes which the LORD hath planted, and as cedar trees beside the waters.
7 He shall pour the water out of his buckets, and his seed shall be in many waters, and his king shall be higher than Agag, and his kingdom shall be exalted.
8 God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows.
9 He couched, he lay down as a lion, and as a great lion: who shall stir him up? Blessed is he that blesseth thee, and cursed is he that curseth thee.
This really REALLY pissed off Balak.
10 And Balak's anger was kindled against Balaam, and he smote his hands together: and Balak said unto Balaam, I called thee to curse mine enemies, and, behold, thou hast altogether blessed them these three times.
I asked you to curse them and look, you've gone and blessed them three friggin times? WTF???
Balak sends him away. As Balaam's leaving he says, I told you I can only do what the LORD tells me to do.
Balaam then tells Balak, that Israel will pretty much posses the entire area.
And that ends todays reading, so what did we learn?
1. Donkeys can talk. (Brother T would you like to expand on God's cupboard?)
2. Balaam, though not a Jew, talked with the LORD.
3. God said no, then yes, then no, then yes.
4. If you plan to speak for God, don't promise a curse and then deliver a blessing.
YIC
V
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