Mid Term Grades

[BrotherLarry]

PRAISE GOD

I received my midterm grades from Dr. Professor Brother Elmer White today. While I am certain he will not mind if I share them, I will wait until he says it is ok to do so. I know you've all been anxious to see how I'm doing - particularly Pastor Ezekiel Flint, whose support has been amazing. He just has that "special" way of making a student feel as if it's all worth it.


I do have a couple of questions, Dr. White:


1. I didn't realize that there was a "color" requirement when writing the papers. That wasn't stated in the lesson materials. Isn't 20 points a lot to lose because I used only black font color?
2. Is it commonplace at most universities that higher grades are in direct correlation with tithing? Mother and Father are questioning why I've spent $60,000 from my trust fund in the past eight weeks. I just keep telling them it's for Jesus.


Well, since spring break is almost over I better read the book of Habakkuk and study Dr. White's treatise on the science of the story of the fig tree as it relates to intelligent design of the baraminological factors within nutritional chemistry.


COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Mid Term Grades

Larry,


Where have you been? I have been trying to contact you. When are we going to get together for that fellowship meeting?


YIC
TT

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Mid Term Grades

Larry,


Where have you been? I have been trying to contact you. When are we going to get together for that fellowship meeting?


YIC
TT

Hi Tommy!
I am, of course, helping look for your family.


The same cabin as last time. Knock three times.
I hope you have thought of a way to take care of the problem we discussed over the phone...you know - the Jew?
I can $end a little help if you need $ome.


Meanwhile, back to the search! If only we could search together <sigh> You are in my thoughts constantly.


Larry

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Mid Term Grades

My Dear Larry,


It is so good to hear from you. Thank you for all your help and support in this my time of need. I am currently living in fear for my life. Things are going missing around the house especially from the sock drawer. In addition to this I feel I am being watched every minute of the day. The same car has been parked across the road from the front gate of the estate for over a week now.


Anyway don't worry about the Jew. He won't present any further problems, if he knows what's good for him.


With the family missing, I am considering taking a weekend up at the cabin to immerse myself in prayer for their safe return.


Your friend,
Thomas

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Mid Term Grades

PRAISE GOD

I do have a couple of questions, Dr. White:

1. I didn't realize that there was a "color" requirement when writing the papers. That wasn't stated in the lesson materials. Isn't 20 points a lot to lose because I used only black font color?
2. Is it commonplace at most universities that higher grades are in direct correlation with tithing? Mother and Father are questioning why I've spent $60,000 from my trust fund in the past eight weeks. I just keep telling them it's for Jesus.

COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

Dear young Brother,

1. Let us remember that the principal purpose of the Creation Science curriculum is to make the students proficient in Biblical knowledge, so proficient, in fact, that they can discern True™ data [runaway hydroplate subduction, water canopy of the waters above the Firmament (Genesis 1:6), genetic entropy, Babelian linguistics, and co-existence of dinosaurs (aka Behemoth) with humans (Job 40:15)] from false data (basically, evolution, and the related fields of constructive learning environment, genders, psychology, and cosmologism). This requires knowing the Bible by heart. As for colors, it is important that we can do some Spiritual vetting of the students by winnowing the color-blind [I hope you can see the previous word in red, green, and mauve] from our midst, as this form of blindness is one of the conditions transmitted by sin over generations (Exodus 20:5) - Easily curable by prayer, of course (John 14:13). That is why we utilize colors, and to acknowledge their importance during the heyday of God's appearances in front of our Patriarchs.



1 Chronicles 29:2
Now I have prepared with all my might for the house of my God the gold for things to be made of gold, and the silver for things of silver, and the brass for things of brass, the iron for things of iron, and wood for things of wood; onyx stones, and stones to be set, glistering stones, and of divers colours, and all manner of precious stones, and marble stones in abundance.

2. No, most universities neglect the tithing schedules over student graduating. Our aim is to make you proficient in the use of the Bible. Furthermore, the wonderful redecorated rest rooms have been vandalized by some students who have forgotten 1 Thessalonians 5:8, and we'll have to replace some of the soap dispenser. They don't come cheap, and you've enjoyed them tremendously, haven't you. Please, remind your progenitors of this:

Mark 10:24
And the disciples were astonished at his words. But Jesus answereth again, and saith unto them, Children, how hard is it for them that trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God!



I may be mistaken, but did I just fail to see Biblical references in your queries? Nor were there any nice colors to enliven your post. Let us continue in prayer as the principal study tool, and I am sure that the intricacies of baraminology will be unraveled to you in no time!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[handmaiden]

Re: Mid Term Grades

As for colors, it is important that we can do some Spiritual vetting of the students by winnowing the color-blind [I hope you can see the previous word in red, green, and mauve] from our midst, as this form of blindness is one of the conditions transmitted by sin over generations (Exodus 20:5)

Mauve? Are you quite well, Brother Doctor Professor White, sir?


Purple, I grasp, it's mentioned in the Bible. Tan and gray are also standard. Mauve, taupe and (shudder) greige smell a bit "off."

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Mid Term Grades

Mauve? Are you quite well, Brother Doctor Professor White, sir?
Purple, I grasp, it's mentioned in the Bible. Tan and gray are also standard. Mauve, taupe and (shudder) greige smell a bit "off."

Isn't mauve just a pale and tasteful shade of purple, Sister? I know you will correct me if I am wrong. It does sound vaguely foreign.

I agree wholeheartedly about taupe and greige, though. Taupe is very definitely the French word for that burrowing animal that destroys our carefully-tended lawns and greige isn't a color at all - it's what happens if you don't wash your walls every week (or your undergarments twice a day).

[handmaiden]

Re: Mid Term Grades

Isn't mauve just a pale and tasteful shade of purple, Sister? I know you will correct me if I am wrong. It does sound vaguely foreign.

I agree wholeheartedly about taupe and greige, though. Taupe is very definitely the French word for that burrowing animal that destroys our carefully-tended lawns and greige isn't a color at all - it's what happens if you don't wash your walls every week (or your undergarments twice a day).

I fear "mauve" has French origins as well, Sister. And I have met many a homosexual fellow who can go on and on as to the balance of blue to rose to gray in its many shades. They can discern it from lavender and lilac and orchid. They can distinguish plum from aubergine. And they know fuschia when they see it.


The Bible speaks of purple; that's good enough for me.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Mid Term Grades

The Bible speaks of purple; that's good enough for me.

Amen, Sister! But I fear we are derailing this discussion, insignificant though it may be to anyone other than Brother Larry. So I shall withdraw now - though not before saying that it was Brother Professor Dr White (1 Thessalonians 5:12) who introduced the word mauve. And if is good enough for him, then it is good enough for me.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Mid Term Grades

Amen, Sister! But I fear we are derailing this discussion, insignificant though it may be to anyone other than Brother Larry. So I shall withdraw now - though not before saying that it was Brother Professor Dr White (1 Thessalonians 5:12) who introduced the word mauve. And if is good enough for him, then it is good enough for me.

Sister Handmaiden,


As a True Christian(TM) MALE, my opinions of course matter more than that of a lowly woman from godless England. I hereby declare this thread to be significant, although the lovely, prim sister has a right to speak her opinion - as long as it's with the approval of the men in her life. (And who knows how many there are?)


I am happy to report, since everyone here is always on pins and needles to monitor my progress, that Dr. White has informed me that my pathway to the PhD is right on track. Since I am in the accelerated program, It is up to God and the PhD committee just how much longer it will take me - as long as my tithes continue. The good news is that Father has made me a partner in the Lexus dealership, which means I get a portion of the profits from this point on and I don't even have to lift a finger.


Humbly as always,
BrotherLarry

[handmaiden]

Re: Mid Term Grades

I am happy to report, since everyone here is always on pins and needles to monitor my progress. . .

BrotherLarry, as always, I am on nails and spikes in my need to monitor your progress.


And I sincerely apologize to all and sundry for my derailment-style behavior. I was simply concerned for Brother Doctor Professor White's well-being. "Mauve" isn't a word I've ever heard from a man who wasn't an interior decorator.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Mid Term Grades

Handmaiden,


Derailment is not the word, Sister. Your purpose was not to disrupt, but to enlighten. As a True Christian(TM) you are incapable of sin.


It is important to elaborate on your original intention, and that was to clarify that Dr. Professor Brother Elmer is a babe magnet whose door is often beaten by eligible bachelorettes because of his macho, manly, completely heterosexual attitude as well as his ability to make his environment fabulous.


The Lord God Himself provides men such as Dr. White discernment as a part of the spiritual gifts He showers on us. (1 Corinthians 12:10) When spiritual imposters invade the church, we need men such as Dr. White who knows his periwinkle from sky blue, a man whose azure stands out tall and proud above the sinful scarlet and carnation pink of the sinful. If he also knows that placing the sofa east-west instead of north-south to protect the feng shui, well - that is yet another blessing from God.


I shudder when I think of how some women believe off white is the same as egg shell white. I cringe when I ask a man if I can borrow his turquoise shirt and he hands me one that is blue-green. Have these people no shame?


I believe we should celebrate men's men like Dr. White, and hold them in prayer so they may continue to serve the Lord in fullness and with great reward.


Your loving brother,
Larry

[handmaiden]

Re: Mid Term Grades

Well, we've certainly established that you are not color-blind.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Mid Term Grades

Dear Ladies,

I do know that these things may be hard for females to comprehend, but Brother Larry is just on the verge of realizing, how the grades in the Creation Science curriculum depend first and foremost on the Spiritual Growth of the students, and the actual memorizing of superfluous data (extra-Biblical) must remain secondary, when we assess the students. As a True Christian™ titanium tither, Brother Larry has been showing great commitment to Jesus, and this must be reflected also in his future grades. The task of Landover University is to Praise Jesus and to ensure the hasty entrance of its faculty members (and students) into Heaven!



Luke 10:41-42
And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.





Yours in Christ,

Elmer