Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

[Father Maurice Lester]

It has been a brilliant 79th year for his Holiness. As the single most admired man on earth, a man who has invigorated the very Church of Rome that Jesus built on the rock St.Peter, he has the love and respect of a billion Catholics and billions of others who surely are considering joining his flock and yet... this is only the beginning of his incredible march to Sainthood.

As he enters his 80th year I know that even the cruelest of jealous commentators cannot help but take a moment to wish Francis all of the best on this day, a mere week before the birth of Christ himself.

Whether he is tending to the needy in Africa, leading the good people of the planet in their desire to see climate change eradicated or working to streamline Vatican banking practices, Pope Francis is now, in terms of global love and admiration, transforming from His representative on earth to living Saint. (Think Mother Theresa without some lurking skin disease and some decent posture.)

I invite all of you, even the ones who would normally spew bile and hatred at this fine man, to take the opportunity here to proffer up a few kind words that I shall pass along to his Holiness with due haste.



Bless you, my deep fried snickers bars in this emerging world of Teuscher masterpieces.
Father Mo





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[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

Well, as his "holiness" relieves himself on a gold toilet, and sips his wine from a chalice worth more than most of his subscribers in Central America make in 10 years, tell him happy birthday for me. Or not.

In the mean time, God moves us to make a real difference in the lives of the lost. Jesus saves all; not a fool with a fish-head hat and dementia.

In Christ

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

This Pope is from the Mexican country of Argentina. When Mexicans have a birthday party, they like to have a mariachi band, a big barbeque and a whole lot of beer. Once the last few beers are gone, they like to have a big fight. That Pope and his friends are pretty old. They probably can't drink all the beer and if they have a fight, I doubt they can hurt each other. Hopefully, no one will bring a knife.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

Well, tell him happy birthday for me.

I shall gladly pass along your best wishes!



Bless you, my talking tensimeter,
Father Mo





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[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

This Pope, a birthday party, a big barbeque and a whole lot of beer. That Pope and his friends are pretty...

What a nice, down-home sentiment... which really does describe his Holiness!




Bless you, my verdant rock growth,
Father Mo




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[Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

I suppose he's one year closer to his eternal "reward."

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

he's one year closer to his eternal "reward."

Another lovely sentiment indeed.

Who knows how much longer God will allow us this Pope before he calls him to the glory of sitting beside Jesus for eternity. The Lord has clearly blessed the world in giving us Francis but surely His greater plan will require the Pope to take his talents to South Beach, so to speak, sooner than later.



Bless you, my soda's your wife,
Father Mo




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[Elmer G. White]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

Dear Sinner Mr. Lester,

I've come to the conclusion that you are sincere. It is not your fault. You have been indoctrinated since you were a young alluring boy and the catholic "priests" did not fail to take that into account when dealing with you.

However, Jesus is not as forgiving. Admittedly, He is sometimes too merciful (Jonah 4:2) but does never fail to punish those who ignore Him (John 3:18). "Pope" Frances is one of those and as you follow him and not Jesus, it is very likely that you will share Frances's destiny (Matthew 13:42).

Psalms 7:14
Behold, he travaileth with iniquity, and hath conceived mischief, and brought forth falsehood.

Is there proof that the above verse can be applied to Frances. Verily, there is. Creation Science is the key. I examined his original given name and the results, while expected, should finally make you Repent and discard the false Catholic religion.




Can you not see? Are you blind?

Deuteronomy 28:28
The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart:

Look at the image. A gigolo, a fornicator. One who goes with his private parts in full rigor to a Jamboree (of boy scouts apparently). Beware!

But, alas, I know that the force of the indoctrination is strong in you. You might claim that all this was forgotten when Frances chose to be re-named with the name of the poverty prophet.

Well, the Truth™ still peeks out!



Yes, it has been a farce. Muslims, atheists and sodomites have been fooled into false security as suddenly EVERYONE gets into Heaven according to Frances. Instead of nourishing Scripture, we've been getting a pop-culture version of the Bible: attractive to the sinners but ultimately disastrous.

Still, I wish Frances a nice birthday. He'll at least have something to remember in his final deposit site for spiritually toxic waste (Revelation 9:2).


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

I've come to the conclusion that you were a young alluring boy and take that into account when dealing with you.

Admittedly, it is very likely that you will share Frances's destiny. I know that Frances chose to be re-named with the name of the poverty prophet.

I wish Frances a nice birthday.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Although it is nice of you to suggest that I too may one day be Pope, I don't think that Jesus has this in mind for me.

I shall pass your greetings along to his Holiness with the other missives.



Bless you, my cheap champagne that tastes just like cherry Cola,
Father Mo







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[James Hutchins]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

I take it you will be bringing a bus load of young boys over to the vatican for one of those 'Holy Sleep RollOvers'?

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

I will be bringing a bus load of young boys over...

Oh dear no. This isn't one of Pastor Zeke's weekly 'prayers for penis playdates'! While I realize that this behavior of yours is typical for Baptwits and part of your heritage, there is no place in The Church of Rome for that sort of perversion.



Bless you, my petulant pedophile,
Father Mo





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[James Hutchins]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

Oh dear no. This isn't one of Pastor Zeke's weekly 'prayers for penis playdates'! While I realize that this behavior of yours is typical for Baptwits and part of your heritage, there is no place in The Church of Rome for that sort of perversion.



Bless you, my petulant pedophile,
Father Mo
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So you people do not even let the children sleep on a cot in the dungeon? You toss them out the gates when you are done. I guess the cost of linens is a concern with money so tight in the catlick Church.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

So you people do not even let the children sleep on a cot in the dungeon? You toss them out the gates when you are done.

I strongly suggest that you see a mental health professional sooner than later. These ceaseless thoughts about child abuse you write of are clear indications of deep-seated (for you likely deep-seeded too) behavioral problems and are surely a cry for help.

We get a few hundred thousand Baptwits a year joining The Church and I have heard much of the same kind of disgusting talk from quite a few of them come confession time. You are certainly not alone with your mental disease but there is help out there... please do try and find it.

I guess the cost of linens is a concern with money so tight in the catlick Church.

A concern with money?

The pews are filling up again, membership is at an all-time high and donations are rolling in like smog on a Beijing sunrise. While it is no secret we have a vast portfolio of prime real-estate that needs a trim now and then, we could retire like Kings right now just living off of the sale of precious art we don't even bother to display!



Bless you, my Michael Jackson in training,
Father Mo





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[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

The Pope should have a big splif for his birthday! That is what I do. Actually I do that every day.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Happy Birthday Pope Francis!

The Pope should have a big splif for his birthday! That is what I do. Actually I do that every day.

Help me here please. Are you saying you take your religious herbs every day to celebrate The Pope's birthday or just that you celebrate The Pope every day?

Either way, I am confident his Holiness thanks you for your kind thoughts and... uh... religious dedication.



Bless you, my brightest guy in the Baptist room,
Father Mo




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