Stupid Things Mom Says

[BrotherLarry]

Mother is still under the spell of Papist lies. We were chatting about her praying the rosary three times a day (we were on the phone) when suddenly she screamed “She’s here!”

I asked her who was there and she began praying a Hail Mary.

Again I asked who was there. She very reverently and solemnly said, “Mary. The Blessed Mother is here. I smell her scent. “

Mother explained that Catholics believe when Mary visits us here on earth she leaves behind a distinct smell of fresh roses. Some say it also indicates the presence of angels.

Um, okay.

[handmaiden]

Re: Stupid Things Mom Says

My grandmother supposedly had a vision of the Virgin Mary when she (Grandma, not Mary) was a young girl. It was accompanied by the strong scent of roses.

Dear Grandma, I loved her so much. And she was such a great cook. . .now she's roasting in the fires of hell without so much as a drop of the old vino to quench her pain.


That's what you get for being a mariolatrist Catholic, Grandma!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Stupid Things Mom Says

John 18:37f-38a [Jesus speaking] Every one that is of the truth heareth my voice. Pilate saith unto him, What is truth?

Secularists say that the brain region(s) responsible for hallucinations, such as of dead Marys or beams of projecting light, are also connected to the nose and therefore register smells. Whether it's demons agitating that part of the brain or nerve cells firing off by themselves for no reason is a moot point because if it is a material phenomenon it would be rose-fragrence molecules evoking the hallucination & if it's not an actual perception of something then it can't be a perception of Mary.

The hallucination is a conditioned response caused by Romish indoctrination. I'm sure when Confucianists smell roses they don't think it's Mary!

But secularists have very restricted options. Theirs is a menu driven world with insufficient options to ever glean The Truth.

Jeremiah 9:3 They bend their tongues like their bow for lies: but they are not valiant for the truth upon the earth; for they proceed from evil to evil, and they know not me, saith the LORD.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Stupid Things Mom Says

The hallucination is a conditioned response caused by Romish indoctrination. I'm sure when Confucianists smell roses they don't think it's Mary!

Confusionists probably do what anyone else would do: take a look around and find they're in a garden. It's a shame that Sister Handy's grandma is burning in Hell, because we'll never get the opportunity to ask her where she was at the time of this hallucination.

Brother Larry, I seem to recall that your mom tends to overdo the use of air-freshener in the home - though, given your father's habits, nobody can blame her. Could it have been that, do you think?

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Stupid Things Mom Says

Brother Larry, as always, there are relevant instructions in the Bible, specifically Exodus 34:13 and Deuteronomy 12:3). You should take your mother's rosary/anal beads and snip them up with scissors. Tear her paintings of Mary off the wall and put your knee through them. Smash her Mary statue idols with a baseball bat. Toss her votive candles and incense directly into a garbage bag. She should not be allowed to possess pagan paraphernalia. This righteous spectacle will either convince her to give her soul over to Jesus, or the shock will make her blasphemous heart stop beating and she'll go straight to Hell, and in that case good riddance to bad garbage.

[handmaiden]

Re: Stupid Things Mom Says

Confusionists probably do what anyone else would do: take a look around and find they're in a garden. It's a shame that Sister Handy's grandma is burning in Hell, because we'll never get the opportunity to ask her where she was at the time of this hallucination.

From what I remember being told, Grandma was lying in her bed in her tiny little hovel in Sicily when Mary "appeared" to her. She would have been rather young, as she was married off at age 16 and sent to America.


I really do miss my grandma and regret that she is burning horribly in hell. But I don't make the rules and I'm not going to waste Jesus's value time by crying about it.


Sometimes I do wonder--did Grandma have any chance? Steeped as she was in Papist heresy, given no control over her life and body--but hey, The Lord was good enough to bring her to America. That undoubtedly gave her some opportunity to hear the True Word(tm) of God.


Sure, she might have been beaten by her husband/cousin if she stopped going to Mass, but he was going to beat her anyway. She should have accepted Jesus in the right way instead of trusting her upbringing and total indoctrination into a false church.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Stupid Things Mom Says

She called me today to say that she is going on a pilgrimage to some shrine in another state that honors Mary. Dad is going to Florida to play golf. While they’re gone I think I will take Brother Dennis’ suggestion and bring Jesus back to that home.

Mother doesn’t use air freshener anymore since she got high on it and the cops found her walking down the street singing songs from The Lion King.

More as things develop.

I do wonder if I should smash the $5000 statuette they picked up in Rome of Padre Pio. That money would bring souls to Jesus.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Stupid Things Mom Says

I do wonder if I should smash the $5000 statuette they picked up in Rome of Padre Pio. That money would bring souls to Jesus.

If you can find the certificate of authenticity and/or the receipt signed by Padre Pio, why not sell them to the highest bidder and tithe the proceeds? I'm sure that would help with your application to move to Freehold, and then you wouldn't have to bother with your parents ever again.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Stupid Things Mom Says

Padre Pio

I'd never heard of this particular idol so had a look to what it was. Eew! Why is it that pagans flock after these obvious charlatans? Wishing to be charitable however and reflecting on the aspects of brain topography described earlier, I wondered if this wretch could be suffering some malady which Christ could have healed?

From an early age, Pio had been a very sickly child, having suffered from a gastroenteritis attack at age six as well as a typhoid fever at age ten. At the age of 17, Br Pio suddenly fell ill again, complaining of weight-loss, insomnia, fainting spells and exhaustion—some of the many ailments he continued to experience throughout his life.

Padre Pio devotees highlight this time as the beginning of the many inexplicable phenomena which were to occur in his life.

https://www.scross.co.za/2018/09/padre-pio-holy-and-controversial/

The typhoid can lead to brain inflammation and hallucinations— according to physicians, that is—and here those symptoms persisted. I don't want to dwell on this unnecessarily but you can read that in §2 "The road to priesthood" para. 5 & 6.

Glossing over the levitation and corpse worship (the cadaver being "in a fairly good condition" yet needing to be concealed "with a life-like silicone mask" honestly you couldn't make this stuff up but it's sealed in a glass tank anyway just in case the smell of flowers §3 para. 4 escapes) we come to a new batch of demonic manifestation. In §5 "Death and sainthood" para. 2 & 3, a double whammy is served up:

Holding a rosary in his hands, he repeated the phrase, “Gesù, Maria” — “Jesus, Mary”.

At around 2:30 am, Padre Pio spoke of seeing two mothers (believed to be his mother and Mary)

https://www.scross.co.za/2018/09/padre-pio-holy-and-controversial/

Levitation is not something endorsed by The Bible unless walking on water Matthew 14:25-29 is a form of levitation—which seems unlikely since He was walking on the water, not hovering above it—but the appearance of deceased persons is associated with witchcraft:

I Samuel 28
7a Saul unto his servants, Seek me a woman that hath a familiar spirit, that I may go to her..
8a And Saul disguised himself, and put on other raiment, and he went...
8c And he said, I pray thee, divine unto me by the familiar spirit
8d And bring me him up whom I shall name unto thee.
9a And the woman said unto him, Behold, thou knowest what Saul hath done
9b How he hath cut off those that have familiar spirits, and the wizards, out of the land?
10 And Saul sware to her … there shall no punishment happen to thee for this thing.
11 Then said the woman, Whom shall I bring up unto thee? And he said, Bring me up Samuel.
12 And when the woman saw Samuel, she cried with a loud voice: and the woman spake to Saul, saying, Why hast thou deceived me? for thou art Saul.

Whether venerating a deceased person who sees other deceased persons rising up before him and who has his minimally corrupted carcass displayed in a glass tank concealed by a silicone mask itself constitutes witchcraft is not for me to say. If Brother Larry has questions, the Pastoral Team will advise further – but in cleansing the premises there is one suggestion to consider. Some brands of furniture polish and the more effective household adhesives deserve consideration here. And not only in the context of spontaneous singing. They can also cause brain lesions. Some of the symptoms have already been described.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Stupid Things Mom Says

Mothers are women.

Women shouldn't talk. (1st Timothy 2:11-12)

Case closed.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Stupid Things Mom Says

Ha ha GREAT thread! Things my stupid mom used to say:

"Stop doing that" or "Be quiet" all the time or, whatever, and I'd tell her to get lost and we'd get into a row and I'd hide when pa came home and miss dinner and... and, stuff I don't want to talk about.